Songfic: Mace! (parody of Shaft)
All characters are the property of George Lucas and Lucasfilms Limited. Theme from
Shaft written and performed by Isaac Hayes. This parody is for entertainment purposes
only; the author is making no money from this.
The stage is unlit. From the dark, you hear a familiar rhythm:
bauc-a-chic-a-bauc-a-chic-a and a throbbing bass line that makes you *need* to shake
your booty. As you move to the tempo, red footlights begin to glow, and a fog rolls
across the stage. Two figures twist and writhe in the dim light. As the footlights shine
brighter, you recognize the face and form of Qui-Gon Jinn as he saunters onto the stage.
The dancers, Adi Gallia and Depa Billaba, flank him and continue to move to the music.
Qui steps up to the microphone and begins to sing in his sexy, rumbling voice while the
women answer him.
Adi and Depa strike a pose: Mace!
Qui: Who's the sexy jedi boss
that melts every chick he comes across?
Adi and Depa: Mace!
Qui: You're damn right.
Who is the knight
that can please the honeys through the night?
Adi and Depa: Mace!
Qui: Can ya dig it? *looks very worried as more figures move onto the stage*
Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's ladies all about?
*Yoda and Ki-Adi Mundi join the ladies beside Qui*
Adi and Depa: Mace! *They spin; Ki-Adi is obviously getting into it*
Qui *gives Ki-Adi his best Jedi frown*: Right on
You see this cat Mace is a bad mother--
Adi and Depa *shake their fingers*: Shut your mouth!
Yoda *stomps his gimer sick*: Wash your mouth out, I will.
Qui: But I'm talkin' about Mace!
Adi and Depa: Then we can dig it
Yoda: Dig it, I can. Hmmm... yes. *Bends over and shakes his groove thang. Ki-Adi
moves to the side of the stage and begins to strip*
Qui *sweating profusely*: He's a complicated man
but no one understands him but his woman...
Adi, Depa, Ki-Adi and Yoda: Mace Windu!
They strike a dramatic pose as the house lights come up to thunderous applause. Qui
darts off the stage and heads to the bar, while Ki-Adi and Yoda continue to entertain.
Qui *takes a drink and glares at the giggling female Jedi*: That's bloody well the last
time I play sabaac with you two!
the end
All characters are the property of George Lucas and Lucasfilms Limited. Theme from
Shaft written and performed by Isaac Hayes. This parody is for entertainment purposes
only; the author is making no money from this.
The stage is unlit. From the dark, you hear a familiar rhythm:
bauc-a-chic-a-bauc-a-chic-a and a throbbing bass line that makes you *need* to shake
your booty. As you move to the tempo, red footlights begin to glow, and a fog rolls
across the stage. Two figures twist and writhe in the dim light. As the footlights shine
brighter, you recognize the face and form of Qui-Gon Jinn as he saunters onto the stage.
The dancers, Adi Gallia and Depa Billaba, flank him and continue to move to the music.
Qui steps up to the microphone and begins to sing in his sexy, rumbling voice while the
women answer him.
Adi and Depa strike a pose: Mace!
Qui: Who's the sexy jedi boss
that melts every chick he comes across?
Adi and Depa: Mace!
Qui: You're damn right.
Who is the knight
that can please the honeys through the night?
Adi and Depa: Mace!
Qui: Can ya dig it? *looks very worried as more figures move onto the stage*
Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's ladies all about?
*Yoda and Ki-Adi Mundi join the ladies beside Qui*
Adi and Depa: Mace! *They spin; Ki-Adi is obviously getting into it*
Qui *gives Ki-Adi his best Jedi frown*: Right on
You see this cat Mace is a bad mother--
Adi and Depa *shake their fingers*: Shut your mouth!
Yoda *stomps his gimer sick*: Wash your mouth out, I will.
Qui: But I'm talkin' about Mace!
Adi and Depa: Then we can dig it
Yoda: Dig it, I can. Hmmm... yes. *Bends over and shakes his groove thang. Ki-Adi
moves to the side of the stage and begins to strip*
Qui *sweating profusely*: He's a complicated man
but no one understands him but his woman...
Adi, Depa, Ki-Adi and Yoda: Mace Windu!
They strike a dramatic pose as the house lights come up to thunderous applause. Qui
darts off the stage and heads to the bar, while Ki-Adi and Yoda continue to entertain.
Qui *takes a drink and glares at the giggling female Jedi*: That's bloody well the last
time I play sabaac with you two!
the end
