Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me – am simply borrowing them for the purposes of this story.
AN: This is fluff, possibly on the sickening side. Set in an imagined future in Season 6 – no plot, no crime, no canon. Just fluff. Just because.
Tequila Truths
It is New Years day and I am lying on a couch and contemplating my life.
I must confess this is not the first time this day has been spent simply thinking in the last twelve or so years.
This year, however, I have the delightful addition of Teresa Lisbon laying right here with me.
It should really go without saying but she is delightfully sleepy, warm, endearing and utterly beautiful as she lies snuggled against me. I should mention too that she happens to also be grumpy, tired and monumentally hung-over as she lies here, wrapped up in my arms
I am truly a lucky man and go into this year knowing that every day spent with Teresa by my side is a day I have snatched back from life. Even days like today when she is drooling quite noticeably on my shirt sleeve as she lies with her head on my upper arm.
"Jane, please stop doing that."
Did Lisbon just hear my thoughts and catch me complaining about her adorable drooling? Hangover or not she could still hand me my ass in a heartbeat.
"My dear, I wasn't aware I was doing anything other than be here with you while providing you with adequate cushioned support for you to lie against."
"You need to stop rubbing my back; it's making the room spin."
"Are you sure it's the back rubs, dear."
Despite my teasing words I suspend the journey of my fingers across her back, and simply pull Teresa's slight body further against me. She looks completely and utterly miserable as I peer over her shoulder to try and garner her mood from her much too pale but lovely face.
"Please just let it be the back rubs, because if it's still the tequila then I may never be able to drink again with any level of confidence."
"I think, darling, you perhaps consumed a couple of months' worth of rations yesterday so I wouldn't worry too much about the strength of your constitution."
She sighs audibly but twins her fingers with mine and rests our joined hands against the warm skin of her stomach, burrowing them beneath the soft cotton of the shirt she is wearing.
"I can't believe I got so drunk last night and ruined our first new years together."
My lips are already resting in her hair so it takes no effort to kiss her there, so I do – again and again. She smells of her usual shampoo, which is entirely appropriate as I washed her beautiful hair with that shampoo before she went to sleep last night.
"You didn't spoil anything darling, I got you naked and wet in the shower didn't I?"
For that statement I am – probably justifiably – rewarded with her elbow in my stomach. I kiss her neck softly in apology and resettle Teresa against the length of my body. I can honestly say if we are to spend the rest of the day like this then I would be happy and have the best start to this year as any man could ever hope to have.
"I hate that I made such a fool of myself last night Patrick."
I don't like it when Teresa Lisbon is sad, and this has been true for years – but now that every part of my life and happiness is connected to her happiness then my only real focus is to ensure she is protected from misery and sadness. Her miserable words just now emphasise that she is wallowing in some imagined state of self-recrimination right now.
"I don't believe that to be true my dear."
"I was drunk and stupid and needed my boyfriend to put me to bed."
She attempt to yell these words at me, but apparently her head is still bothering her enough that she instead half whispers them to me. I really want to tell her how cute that is, but am not quite ready for another elbow in the stomach so soon after the previous one. So instead I kiss her shoulder and rest my lips against her delicate ear so I too don't have to talk above a whisper.
"Darling your boyfriend adores putting you to bed, especially when he gets to sleep right beside you. And as for stupid, that's not an adjective that could ever be used for you my dear. Truly."
"I was stupid last night – you had to help me shower and I spoiled our plans and didn't get to kiss you at midnight. Right now that makes me feel pretty damn stupid. We had plans, Patrick."
I turn Teresa round in my arms, careful to move her slowly lest I exacerbate her headache. She sighs a little at me, unhappy to be disturbed from the little cocoon of warmth she had found in my arms – but I kiss her on the cheek right at the spot her dimple will appear when I get her smiling again.
"We had plans to be together, my dear, and we are. This is nothing but a very happy new year for me. I promise you."
I kiss her cheek again, but I haven't quite been able to coax a smile from her yet.
"I should never have gone out drinking yesterday lunchtime; I should have come home with you instead."
"You wanted to go out with your colleagues darling, and you did – that's perfectly natural. It's normal that you are becoming friends with the other agents."
"That was the point, I'm trying with them. I thought we'd have a few drinks and then I'd come home. I forget about how easy it is to want to fit in, and maybe I forgot drinking tequila on an empty stomach is just dumb."
I smile and kiss her cheek, and this time I'm gifted with the merest of smiles. And despite the briefness of its appearance, it's beautiful. The first time I've managed to make Teresa smile in 2014, I might start to keep score and maybe measure her happiness by her smiles.
"So you had drinks with the guys. And Fischer. That's good, it means you're one of them – and I got to mess with them by not going. So that's all normal. And you were Lisbon with them, I'm sure."
"I don't know what happened, I really don't. I was doing okay until I got home. I was the one who put Lewis and Robson in a cab to make sure they were going to get home okay. And I put Fischer in a cab too, and paid for the damn thing so the driver would actually take her. They were wasted, I was fine. And then when I got home I just fell apart."
Teresa sounds so miserable right now it's all I can do not to kiss her and kiss her again, but that would reinforce her belief that I am sorry she came home to me and needed me.
"Teresa, it was very you that you went out with the guys at work to try and fit in a little more. And I promise I won't get in the way of that, and I promise to even try a little myself. Well, I'll try so long as you want me to. And it was even more you to hold it together and take care of people and make sure they were safe – which is exactly what you did last night. And then you got in a cab and came back to your home where it was okay for you to lessen your world class control a little and be taken care of for a change. I'm nothing but glad that I get to do that when you let me. Okay?"
I lean forward and kiss her lovely face, resting my lips against her skin to help convince her of my honesty and my happiness.
"But we had plans."
"We did, I get that but plans change sometimes. I know you think you ruined my night, but that's not true. You came home, kissed me a lot – then told me you thought I was gorgeous. A lot. Neither of those things is on my list of 'stuff I don't like' – then you got a little nauseous and suddenly seemed to have been drinking a lot. So I got to witness you throwing up and being very sorry for it – for no reason, I might add."
"I'm sorry."
She leans towards me now and rests her forehead against my shoulder to hide her face from me; I can tell her cheeks are pink from embarrassment. As if anything Teresa could ever do would have the power to bring her shame in my eyes.
"I'm not sorry, we went to bed early…"
"Because I couldn't keep my eyes open Patrick."
"Details my dear. We went to bed early and you slept with your head on my chest all night. That is one of my favourite things you do in the whole world, so that was a wonderful start to the year for me. Then I got to sit on your balcony and watch the sunrise with a cup of tea, and it was beautiful and would only have been better if I had gotten to share it with you. But there will be other sunrises my dear. So lavishing you with water and coffee to help you find your way into the day has been my pleasure, and then cuddling here with you these last hours has been something I could have only dreamt of this time last year. Please believe me Teresa; I have had a perfectly happy new years."
Teresa turns her face from where she has been resting it against my shoulder and this time it's she who kisses my cheek. I have to say she has the loveliest lips, and the sensation of them brushing against my skin is one of the greatest miracles of my new life.
Of this new life with Teresa.
"I wanted you to have a happy new years this year Patrick, I worried about you last year and what you were doing and if you were content."
"I was content my dear, but as I might have mentioned to you before the fact of your absence made me less than happy – being without you was so strange, and ultimately just made me sad. So as content as I allowed myself to be last year, that is nothing compared to how much joy I take in spending this time with you. You must believe that, you must trust me."
"I do trust you; I think last night demonstrated that if nothing else does. I feel like I've let you down, because I wanted so much for everything to be perfect for us this year. I spent last year thinking of you, and missing you and I wanted to be with you last night not passed out beside you."
She really can be the most exasperatingly lovely woman, and I do realise I have no business being this lucky twice in my life. But I will make her happy for the rest of her life, if her stubbornness will let me that is. I move away from Teresa a little, just so there is enough space between us that I can look into her glorious eyes as I talk to her. I clasp her smaller hands between my own and bring them to my lips just because I can, and because it feels necessary to be connected with her in every way.
"Why were you thinking of me last year darling, I thought you would have been with your family."
I kiss her fingers again when I finish talking, a little addicted to the taste of her skin.
"I was working this time last year – I was the only one without a family of my own and I worked and missed you and thought about you..."
I wish I could ask Teresa what it would take to make every unhappiness I have ever caused in her life to go away. But then I know the futilely of that wish and want to tell her over and over how sorry I am. I know she would smack me if I tried, but the impulse remains. It hurts to think of Teresa alone and working and wasting her thoughts on me. It also makes me happier than it should that she cared enough – cares enough – and that I am the person in the world whose happiness she worries about the most.
I will repay her for that, every day. Forever.
"Well, we are together this year my darling and will be next year too and the year after. So don't waste time worrying about spoiling anything, because you're stuck with me – and I will be responsible for spoiling so many things you will want to smack around because of it."
"You like it when I smack you around."
I laugh, helplessly, and can't resist brushing my lips against Teresa's elegantly tempting pout – and the smile that breaks out on her pale face is all the reward I will ever need for loving her.
"I adore everything about you my dear, and the smacking me around is just part of the package. I do accept I deserve it most of the time – and that it's done with love…"
I kiss her again, this time loving that she brushes her lips in reciprocation against mine. I feather my fingers against her delicate neck and inhale the life affirming scent of Teresa Lisbon as she lies so close beside me.
"Teresa that was your cue to tell me you love me too…"
My year hits a new high point as she actually giggles in response to my teasing.
"Okay, okay – I love you too… Happy now?"
I tickle her gently in response to her playful words and, as I do every time Teresa tells me what's in her heart, I bask in the warmth of her affection.
"You make me very happy, you know you do darling. And despite what you might think, I've loved every moment of our new year together. I do so like taking care of you darling."
"I do too."
That makes me smile, and happier than I have been all year…
"Well then, Teresa, we're a match."
This time it's my turn to be kissed as Teresa nestles against me and kisses my chin and rubs her nose adorably against my cheek.
"Can I ask you something, Patrick?"
"Anything my dear, you know that."
"I'm upset with myself for ruining our night because I wanted it to be special, but you know that by now. And I know you will tell me forever that it was special because we were together but you'll have to forgive me if I refuse to accept that because part of my night was spent hanging over a toilet throwing up."
I love this woman, truly.
"But I am angry with myself because I so wanted to ask you to move in with me, I wanted that to be the first thing I said to you in 2014. Instead it was, I need all the water right now please."
I'm trying to process all the words of that last exchange, I think Teresa might have just asked me to move in with her. So I kiss her quickly and then pull back to try and see the truth in those honest eyes of hers.
"You wanted to ask me to move in?"
"I did."
"Do you still want to ask me that?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Well, I'll just never go home again so that's me moved in. See what we can achieve when we work together."
I kiss her more passionately this time, sucking her adorable bottom lip between both of mine. She tastes of every kind of bliss I could ever want. But her sigh against my lips has me instantly worried and pulling back to frame her face with my hands.
"You do want us to live together, don't you my dear?"
"I think I'd like you to be my husband."
Her words are so softly spoken for a few moments I believe I imagined them, but her worried eyes and red cheeks reinforce that I have just been proposed to by Teresa.
"You have to mean this Teresa, because my answer will never be no."
"I do mean it; I want us to be each other's family in the eyes of God and because I want it. I want you to be my husband Patrick."
Like I mentioned before, I have no business being this lucky twice.
"It would be my greatest pleasure, and privilege my darling Teresa. Only if you will allow me to say that I want you to be my wife."
"I assumed it would work like that. Are you sure?"
"Hopelessly, my dear. I'm hopelessly sure."
I thread my fingers through the Teresa's left hand and rub the spot where as soon as is practical I will put a diamond. I witness the joy in her gaze and take impossible pleasure that that joy is something we have made together.
I take pleasure that I have the power now to make this woman joyful. I will never abuse that privilege ever again.
Last year Teresa helped me stumble back to life, this year we will start building our new one together.
I wrap Teresa in my arms and listen to her breathe in and out as she relaxes against my chest.
I wrap Teresa in my arms and whisper to her over and over of how much she is loved.
I wrap Teresa in my arms.
