Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Lyrics used belong to Snow Patrol. All I own is a crazy mind.

A/N: So I'm back with another angst filled story. It's AU, Jackson and Lexie were never a couple, only good friends, and Mark and Lexie broke up after Callie found out she was pregnant and really that's all you need to know. I know the subject I'm dealing with is tough and so if it isn't your cup of tea, please stop reading now. If you continue to read, please drop me a review. I'm rather nervous about this. So please, let me know what you think! (:


If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
~ 'Chasing Cars', Snow Patrol.


"I had a good time tonight," Lexie says, a small smile playing on her lips.

Taking in the strong, defined lines of his face, his fiercely green eyes and welcoming smile, there is a moment where Lexie thinks of inviting him in for the night. Meredith and Derek were both with Zola at the hospital, refusing to leave her side after her final surgery, April and Alex were on-call and she didn't know where exactly Jackson was, but from the text he sent her earlier in the night telling her he had "scored", Lexie knew he wasn't in since he never brought his "conquests" back to the house (his term, not hers).

The idea of taking him upstairs flutters through Lexie's mind but it isn't long before she forcefully shoves it away. She couldn't. Even though it had been nearly three months since her conversation in the hallway with Mark (in which he told her he had let her go and moved on) and Jackson had been constantly prodding at her to move on and date, sleeping with someone else wasn't what she wanted (although the idea did excite her).

"Thank you for tonight," Lexie says, keeping her voice low. Although she knows there is no-one in the house tonight, she cannot bring herself to speak loudly or confidently, her nerves getting the better of her. "I-I better go…"

He nods slightly, before his smile becomes wider. It is then that he leans in, his tall body shadowing over hers as he brings a hand to the side of her face. His lips touch hers and it is a slow kiss, gentle and lazy as if he is trying to remember every part of lips. When he pulls away, he keeps his hand resting on her cheek, his fingers slowly tracing over her skin.

"You sure you don't want me to come in?"

Lexie licks her lips in uncertainly before she smiles, slightly embarrassed at the suggestion. Of course he wants to come in. And she could… But then she hears Mark's name and if she was alone she would have outwardly berated her conscious for reminding her of him. They were over. Completely over. He had moved on and wanted her to do the same, and really that was all that mattered because now she is single. She is free and single and she hasn't had sex in a long time. And every woman has needs; there was no shame in admitting that.

But then…

Mark.

Lexie sighs as she shakes her head, pulling away from his touch. "I'm sorry," she says as she turns her back to him, takes out her keys and unlocks the door. "I had a really nice time tonight," she says over her shoulder as she takes a step into the house.

"Lexie…" His voice is gentle, smooth and coaxing, as he wraps his arms around her waist. Trailing his lips over the exposed area of her neck, he smiles. "You know you want this…"

Lexie lets out a throaty chuckle. She did in fact want him. He was a highly attractive man and they did have fun tonight. He was interesting and amusing and gorgeous but… But she couldn't. She wouldn't allow herself to be with another man. Not yet, anyway.

Turning around in his arms, Lexie tosses her keys over her shoulder before wrapping her arms around his neck. "I know I do but–"

His lips cut her off before she can say anything else. He pushes her further into the house, kicking the door shut behind him. They kiss urgently, roughly, as his hands take leverage on her ass.

Tearing away from him, Lexie pants as she tries to regain her composure. Okay, so that was nice, Lexie reasons with herself as he attacks her neck, licking and sucking and biting her. Lexie closes her eyes when his hands squeeze her ass before they slide up her sides and find her heaving chest.

Before she knows what is happening, Lexie is slamming against the wall, and there is a loud crack as her head bounces off the wall with force. Frowning, Lexie tries to pull away from his eager kiss. "Okay," she mutters as he continues to kiss her. "I–we–that kinda hurt…"

His laugh is quiet and deep as he grips her breasts harder. "You know you like it…"

Lexie shakes her head when he pushes his hips into hers and begins to kiss along the neckline of her dress. "Not like this…Not this…"

"Rough?" He mutters before biting her exposed skin.

Lexie lets out a noise which he mistakes for pleasure. It causes him to push into her further, his body hard against hers as he runs his hands down her body until he reaches the edge of her dress. He looks her in the eye as he slowly starts to push the material up around her waist.

"You were meant to leave," Lexie says, her voice becoming more urgent, her hands grabbing his upper arms when his fingers scratch along the skin of her thigh. "You're going to leave. Now."

He laughs at her.

"But we're not done yet."

When his fingers come into contact with the lace of her underwear, Lexie's eyes grow wide and she pushes at his arms desperately. "Get off me," she says, the anger evident in her voice. She doesn't want to admit to herself that there is a trace of fear in her voice too. "I told you I don't want–"

"When I said you wanted this, you agreed," he reminds her as he curls his fingers around the edge of the lace. "You can't change your mind now. That's not how this works."

Lexie shakes her head when he starts to kiss her neck. She can feel him smile against her as she struggles to get away from his fingers. "Stop it," she whispers as she tries to escape. "I said–"

He grabs her by the throat, effectively cutting her off.

"And I don't care what you said, darling," he whispers in her ear as his fingers push their way under the lace. "You can't tease me all night and not give me what I want."

Lexie makes out a strangled noise when she feels him against her so intimately.

She didn't want this. She knows she said that she did but she wasn't going to go through with it. It was too soon. It may have been many months since her break-up with Mark but it was still too soon. She wasn't ready. She didn't want this. She didn't want this. She really didn't want this.

There are tears in her eyes as pulls out of her. His hand is still wrapped around her neck, squeezing hard enough to leave bruises, when he begins to unzip his jeans.

Taking in her wide, glassy eyes, he smirks at her. "Don't look so surprised," he murmurs before he lets go of her neck, causing Lexie to release a desperate gasp. She pushes against his chest and attempts to run but he catches her and throws her body onto the floor.

He is on top of her before she can react. Resistance is futile. She knows this, but she refuses to give in when she hears the tear of the condom wrapper. Her legs thrash underneath him and her nails scratch down his arms desperately as he pants above her, his breath hot against her cooling skin. She doesn't realize it, but her soft sobs fill the air alongside his groans. Her whispers of please, stop, please float in between them as he continues, his movements fast and relentless.

And when it is over, after he has lifted himself off her, laughed, thrown the condom in her face and walked out of the door, Lexie remains on the floor, her dress bunched around her waist, her underwear resting around her ankle.

There is a moment of silence before Lexie lets out a strangled noise and begins to sob, her tears curving around her face and seeping into the floorboards beneath her.