Author's Note: This is my first character death, ever. I am not too proud of it, but it will do. There is SPOILERS FOR DEEZ NUPS. Any quotes found in here are NOT mine. All rights go to Steve Franks, creator. Italics are flashbacks, fyi.
She closed the door and leaned up against the frame. A tear escaped her closed eyes, then another. She couldn't walk to the chair to sit. Her feet felt incased in metal, heavy and unable to move. She slid down the door and tried to hold in the tears. She looked at her hands, covered in blood, the blood of a lost friend. She tried to wipe it off on her shirt, but it wouldn't. She looked beside her and a flash of white caught her blurred eyes.
'To Juliet O'Hara'
She let a stained hand fall to the letter. She paused a little before opening it, knowing who it was from. She unfolded it and blinked a few times to be able to read it.
'To Jules,
It hurts me to write this. I wish I wouldn't have. If you're read this, it means something has happened.'
Juliet put a hand over her mouth, not caring if she got blood on her.
Juliet walked up to his door and knocked. She waited a while without a response, "Shawn?" She looked in the window and couldn't see anything or anyone. She fumbled around in her pocket for the key Shawn had given her when they started dating. She had not given it back after their fight at Lassiter's party.
Juliet opened the door and gasp at what she saw.
Shawn was lying in a pool of blood, his blood.
'I couldn't get you out of my mind after our fight. I knew my secret was going to come out sooner or later, but I was hoping it wouldn't hurt the ones I cared about, the ones I love. I feel horrible that I hurt you. I tried my best for you to not find out; I guess I can't be too careful.'
"Shawn, are you listening to me?" Juliet yelled. Frustration was apparent as her voice quavered.
"Falling in love with you was never part of the plan, okay? This whole thing started because my butt was on the line. Self-preservation, Jules—you got to understand that. I didn't have a choice. And then, we sort of found a groove, and by the time you showed you, it was so much fun," Shawn explained as Juliet looked at him. She couldn't understand why he did this to her, she trusted him, but now. "I put away, like, over 100 criminals. Most of them were murderers."
Shawn paused and looked nervously into Juliet's eyes. He couldn't stand her like this and looked away, "I'm good at what I do…and what I do…it's good…isn't it?"
Juliet was almost in tears, "What are you talking about? Are you telling me this is all a lie?"
The pain in Shawn's eyes hurt Juliet, but she didn't care.
"Please don't make me answer that," Shawn pleaded.
"Oh, my god," Juliet looked down. She couldn't look at him anymore. He hurt her, for seven years, he never told her. "Oh, my god. I feel so stupid."
"No, sweetheart, this is all me," Shawn tried to explain better, but Juliet still looked away, crying.
She grabbed the glass Shawn had brought and let her frustrations out. She threw the Prosecco at him and walked away.
'I understand how mad you were. I would be upset if Gus told me he was psychic. I wish you would have taken it better. It tore me up inside. I keep thinking about the first time we meant, your smile when we first talked.'
Shawn walked back in from grabbing a paper and looked up to see a beautiful blond sitting in his chair.
"Um, excuse me, you're in my seat." Shawn told her.
"I am?" she questioned.
"Actually, yes, you are."
"Are you one of those weirdo compulsives who come to the same restaurant, sit in the same chair, and eat the same food every day?"
Shawn chuckled a little, "No, I was sitting right there three minutes ago, and then I went outside to get a paper. I ordered a juice, and look, I made a crawling snake with this wrapper. You can finish it if you think you're up to the job."
'All the moments since then have filled my mind. I love you Jules. I won't ever say that I don't. I wish you would have listened to me when I said I didn't want to hurt you. My plan was different. We've been through so much together. My heart breaks every time I think of life without you.'
Juliet eyes started to water again and tears rolled down her cheeks again.
"Maybe the best things, the richest things, aren't supposed to come easily, and that sometimes the moments that make the most sense happen when everything else doesn't."
Shawn looked at Jules as she her eyes watered. He wanted to hug her, he had a long day.
'Every time I close my eyes I see you. The hurt in your eyes as you figured everything out. I can't get it out, Jules! I'm going crazy without you! I want you back so bad, but you won't, or can't, forgive me for some reason beyond my comprehension. Jules, I wish I could make it up with you, but this was the best way I thought I could handle this. I have to leave'
Juliet shook her head. She can't be seeing this.
Shawn had a bullet wound in his chest and a gun in his hand. Juliet knelt down beside him and checked for a pulse. When she couldn't find one, she sat back on her legs and started to cry.
"Shawn, I'm so sorry for what I said."
She heard Lassiter's voice behind her as he swore. Lassiter put a hand on Juliet's shoulder, trying to comfort her best he could.
'I'll see you again, Jules, in another world, another time.
Shawn'
Juliet's head feel back against the door and the letter fell from her hands. If only she could relive that day, if only.
