I don't own Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, or pink and yellow bunnies, and I don't intend to keep any of them in canon.

It was the end of exams again at Hogwarts, and the distraught professors had had quite enough of Harper's Ashcrackers and Ogden's Old firewhisky. Of course, the professors didn't remember the feeling of intense relief accompanying the completion, successful or otherwise, of the OWLs or NEWTs: the glorious prospect of facing two whole months in which they could ignore the moons of Saturn night sky and let the names of the companions of Uric the Ensnared completely slip their minds. There were only two fifth years in the entire castle that were not in their common rooms enjoying the nicked butterbeer and enchanted fireflies that glowed with all the colors of the rainbow (compliments of Sirius Black, who had put his talents to a decent use for once).

These two happened to be in the same corridor on this June evening, though neither had noticed yet. It was probably better this way, though, because the friends of one of the boys happened to share a bitter enmity with the other. Even if Peter Pettigrew himself didn't particularly share in his friends' views, he hadn't the courage to say so, and it wasn't characteristic of Severus Snape to make the distinction. Yet, these two were fated to meet during the evening due to the mysterious workings of a certain room in the corridor, a dangerously powerful room that was commonly known as the Room of Requirements.

Snape, as it happened, had been in this room for several hours mixing a potion that was to become an integral part of his ultimate revenge against the Marauders. He had just put down his stirring rod to let the concoction simmer for an hour and settled down into a nearby chair to wait when his sanctuary was invaded by none other than Peter.

The Gryffindor appeared lost and confused as he stared around the room. Reaching for the doorknob, he pulled furiously, only to find himself locked in. Snape watched him in mild amusement for a few moments before pointing his wand straight at Peter's throat. The Gryffindor stared warily at Snape as he leaned bracingly against the door. "Where am I?" asked Peter. "Why won't the door open?"

Snape frowned at him. "You're in the Come and Go room. I have no idea why it won't open. It doesn't think like a human."

Peter looked rather more frightened at this. "It... thinks?" Snape nodded. Well, stranger things had been found in a magical castle. "Why is it covered in pink and yellow bunnies?"

Snape assessed the situation quickly and decided Pettigrew was harmless. "Like all things with higher reasoning, it has a sense of humor. After I discovered how it functioned, I requested solitude, and received the room from "The Raven", bust of Pallas and all. This time, I asked for pleasant solitude, and this appears to be the wittiest thing it could create." The room shook a bit, as if to say it could have done far better if it had wanted.

His wand was still pointed at Peter. "Now, as there doesn't seem to be a possibility of you leaving, you are going to sit there without moving a muscle until the door opens, and if you breathe a word of this potion's nature to your little Marauder friends, then I swear to Merlin, Pettigrew, that you are not going to live to see it tested." He pointed to a rather tasteless orange floral chair as he sank into the one opposite.

The two stared into the overly cheery fire for quite some time. Peter must have had some of the famous Gryffindor bravery, because he finally spoke first. "They're not," he said quietly.

"Did you speak, vermin?" inquired the Slytherin. "Who isn't what?"

Sitting up slowly and folding his arms, Peter continued, looking at the floor. "They're not my friends. I had hoped, for a while... but after tonight, I'm giving up." He didn't know why he was telling Snape this, only that it didn't matter much anymore.

Snape perked up at this sudden bit of news. "Well, that figures. I suppose they chased you in here, did they when they got tired of looking for me to bully?" The corners of his mouth turned up in a thin lipped, half-hearted smile as Pettigrew nodded. "At least a Slytherin won't try any of that. We don't make friends, we make partnerships purely for personal gain."

"What's the difference?" asked Peter.

He thought for a bit. "Quite a bit, actually. For example, the Slytherin Quidditch team has an agreement. If one of them is attacked by a group of other house members, the whole team has to help him win the fight if they can. It comes purely of preservation reasons, of course. It's quite helpful for members of such an unpopular house to have allies. The Gryffindors probably have a similar policy, but it's unspoken. They're acting out of pure loyalty, friendship, you could say.

If the whole Gryffindor Quidditch team ganged up on one Slytherin team member, and there was only one other Slytherin team member in the room, he'd stand by and watch, because it's obvious the Slytherins can't win two against seven. If it were the other way around, the Gryffindor would help his teammate, even if there were no possible chance of winning. He'd get himself beat up in the process, but he'd do it anyway. Afterwards, he'd help the other Gryffindor up and say something ridiculous and useless, such as 'Don't mind them. They're just jerks.' That's the difference between a friend and an ally."

Peter considered this. "So, how come you don't have any allies?"

"I've no use for them. I'm as deadly as five Gryffindors. Besides, they've no use for me, either. Why don't you have any friends?"

Peter shrugged. "Maybe my house isn't as friendly as you'd think."

The two lapsed back into silence and stared into the fire for several more minutes. The look on Pettigrew's face told Snape he'd better give him some time alone. The Slytherin went over to his potion and peered in. He supposed he'd better look busy, so he poured some powdered bicorn horn into the solution, which he knew wouldn't disturb the simmering process.

It was nearly three days before Snape and Pettigrew met again. This time, though, it was Peter that had the upper hand.

"Let me go! I swear, James, I'll have my revenge on you!" At the moment, though, it didn't look as though Snape was going to live to carry out his threat, or, at the very least, be out of the hospital wing in time to use his potion before it weakened. Peter looked at the spectacle for only a moment before diving in.

It is worth mentioning that of the five people fighting, for even Moony had joined in this one, Pettigrew had been in the fewest fights by far. This one was over in two minutes and left no doubt as to whom the winner was.

Peter lay beside Snape for a few seconds, catching his breath. Then, he leaned up on his elbow, looked at the Slytherin, and said, "Don't mind them. They're just jerks."

Even Snape had to smile at this.