Note: This fanfic is loosely based on and is a parody of SpongeBob SquarePants season 4, episode 71 "Karate Island".
One day, Chika and Kanan were hanging out in Kanan's room at her home next to her family's dive shop. The ginger was on her laptop while Kanan was busy stretching to prepare for her daily afternoon swim still dressed in a light purple sleeveless pullover and an extremely short air of denim shorts. The bluenette was startled out of her thoughts by a tap on her shoulder.
"Hey Kanan-chan, check this out!" said Chika excitedly as she hovered the laptop in front of her friend's face.
Kanan looked intrigued and began reading the email that Chika had received. "To whom it may concern: Hello Chika Takami and congratulations! You have been named Queen of School Idols in all of Japan! Please come to Sagi Shima Island to claim your rightful place among those who have come before you! We hope to see you soon!"
"Isn't it exciting Kanan? We should go!" giggled Chika with excitement but Kanan wasn't so sure.
"I dunno Chika. something is seriously off. I mean, there's no return email address and no signature." said the bluenette with apprehension.
Chika just laughed and put the laptop down. "Oh, come on! If they know my name, email, and all about us, it's gotta be real! Think of me! The queen of school idols…" the ginger trailed off dreamily. "Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!"
Before Kanan could stop her, Chika had changed into a sleeveless light blue top and a short dark blue skirt and grabbed her shoulder bag and was out the door and running towards the small boat the bluenette used to go back and forth between the mainland and her island home. Sighing, Kanan decided she had no choice and followed Chika outside where they took the boat to a small island not too far away from the mainland.
"You know Kanan-chan, you can always have the place next to me if you want! Or maybe Riko or You-chan can have the other one on the other side of me!" Hee! Hee! Hee!" laughed Chika as the boat approached the small island.
Idol Island was by no means large containing just a beach, boat pier, forest, and what looked like a 4-story building that was slightly run down. On the pier stood a man in a business suit who looked like he had been waiting for them. Figuring it was the person behind all this, Kanan narrowed her eyes with suspicion as she brought the boat to a stop and Chika immediately leapt out.
"Welcome Takami-san. My name is manager Ito and welcome to Idol Island." the man said as he and Chika bowed to each other.
"Are you an idol manager? Are you the one who judges all the other idols in the country? Did you pick me?" asked Chika enthusiastically.
Manager Ito smirked. "Ah, so many questions Takami-san. All will be answered in due time."
To the side, Kanan felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Something was definitely wrong and the swimmer couldn't believe how gullible and somewhat arrogant Chika was acting. Still, she wanted to be polite.
"Hi Manager Ito, name is Kanan Matsuura and I'm Chika's…"
But before she could finish, Manager Ito cut her off.
"So, Takami-san, I would first like to congratulate you for being named Queen of School Idols. Come inside and we can properly award you the title."
"Wow, my own title as Queen of School Idols! Did you hear that Kanan-chan?" said Chika happily nudging her friend.
Kanan sighed. "Chika, I don't think…"
But before she could finish her sentence, Chika had completely ignored her and was chatting with Manager Ito about Aqours as the pair went inside leaving behind the peeved swimmer.
"Ugh, that Manager Ito guy acted like he didn't even notice me! And Chika just completely ignored me!" she mumbled out loud to no one in particular. "Well, I guess someone needs to protect Chika-chan."
Kanan took a breath and followed the chatting pair inside where they got into an elevator and rode up the 4th floor of the building. Exiting the elevator, the trio entered a large room where there was a large throne-like chair set up against the back wall with another smaller chair next to it.
"Here we are Takami-san. This is where you shall be crowned Queen of School Idols. Now sit down so I can take your picture." instructed Manager Ito as Chika eagerly took her place on the large plush chair that was meant to be a thrown while Kanan sat down on the smaller seat next to her.
"Chika, this is ridiculous! Have you even noticed that there's no one else here? And how come your family or the rest of us weren't ever notified of this? Surely, we would've known too if they were legitimate. I did an internet search and there's no results for such a title!" Kanan tried insisting but Chika wouldn't listen.
"Aw, is someone jealous Kanan-chan?" the ginger asked smugly.
Kanan's face turned to a light shade of red at the thought of being jealous of Chika.
"No! It's just that you won't listen to me! I'm your friend Chika! And since when did you become so conceited?" burst out Kanan who was very annoyed.
"Ugh, I am not conceited! Why would you even say such a thing?" shot back Chika.
"See? You're too hot-headed to even see how you're acting! Are you even listening to yourself right now?" asked an exasperated Kanan.
"Hmmmph. I am not hot headed!" denied Chika in a conceited tone. "Maybe you're just jealous that I'm being awarded the title and you're not!"
At that point, Kanan decided she needed a time out to clear her head.
"You know what Chika? Fine! Have your fun! I'm going outside to clear my head. Feel free to join me when you're done here." relented the bluenette.
Chika and Manager Ito watched her get up and take the elevator back down to the ground floor. The ginger had to admit she felt guilty for saying all those things to her childhood friend. "Gee, maybe I owe Kanan-chan an apology when I'm done here." She thought before Manager Ito startled her out of her thoughts.
"Now Takami-san, it is time for the picture. Please place both your arms on the arms of the throne, sit up, and smile." Manager Ito instructed going behind what appeared to be a camera as Chika did what he instructed. "Ready?" he asked.
"Ready!" affirmed Chika although with Kanan lingering in the back of her mind, she found it a bit hard to smile genuinely.
Then, it happened. As Chika forced a smile onto her face there was a loud clicking sound, followed by the touch of cold metal as a steel clamp snapped closed around her left wrist on the throne arm. Before the ginger could do anything, another clamp snapped itself around her right wrist. Chika gasped out in shock and tried to free her arms but the restraints wouldn't budge.
She was trapped!
Manager Ito looked delighted at Chika's plight as he approached the idol almost menacingly.
"H-hey! What is this?!" cried Chika as Manager Ito sneered.
"Now Takami-san, it begins…"
Chika's pink eyes bulged and she let out a sharp shriek. Her scream was so loud, it startled the birds out of the trees in the forest behind the building and it caught the attention of a certain bluenette.
Kanan had went back outside to the beach and was spending her time walking up and down the narrow shoreline near her boat when she heard a familiar frightened shriek coming from the building. The swimmer knew who it was but she still felt a bit ticked off.
"Hmmph. I'm sure whatever it is Chika can handle it. Why would she need my help?" she grumbled.
"Kanan-chan HELP!" Chika's voice cried from the 4th floor.
The bluenette glanced up. "If Chika really needs my help, she would say she needs me."
"Kanan I need you! Help meeeeee!"
Kanan continued to stare at the building, her eyes widening. "Well, if she needs me uh… I'm sure she'll say why."
"Heeeelp! I'm trapped and I can't move!"
For Kanan, that was the last straw. She had to help her friend and fast!
"Chika! I'm coming!" cried the swimmer as she tore back into the building as Manager Ito watched from the 4th floor window.
"Hmmmm. Your friend is very devoted to you Takami-san." she mused turning back to the trapped Chika.
"Kanan-chan will easily beat you!" growled Chika defiantly as she continued to tug on her restraints.
Manager Ito laughed. "Ha! I've jammed the elevator! First, she will have to fight her way through the 3 floors of idol trials! Ah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Chika stopped struggling. "Wait, three floors of idol trials?!"
Meanwhile, Kanan had smashed in the door on the first floor and had discovered the elevator was jammed.
"Drat! Guess I have no choice!" she grumbled but before she could approach the stairs, a woman stood in her path.
"Halt! No one gets past the costume seamstress!" she smirked as she leaning against a table with a sewing machine that had a partially finished idol costume on it.
Kanan smirked back. "Ugh, really? I don't need to deal with this!"
Before the woman could react, Kanan grabbed her and used the sewing machine to sew her shirt to the machine that sat on the table, effectively trapping her in place.
"Gahhhhh! How does that even work?!" cried the woman as she tried to pull herself free with Kanan using the distraction to race up the stairs to the second floor.
As soon as the bluenette got to the 2nd floor, a man stood there blocking her way to the stairs that led to the 3rd floor.
"Halt! No one gets past the social media promoter!" he laughed as he pulled out his phone with a promotional post for idols that had over 100 likes. "I can get far more likes than any idol or other social media optimizer! And I'm rubbing it in your face!"
"Ha! I can match that!" laughed Kanan pulling out her own phone.
She then made a post to Aqours' blog that got over 200 likes in a matter of seconds! Double that of the social media promoter's likes!
The social media promoter began screaming with confusion and rage. "WAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH! How did she even do that?! I can't even get 10 likes in a whole day!" He yelled as he started sobbing.
"Ha! Ha! I don't have time for this!" said Kanan as she pushed past him and up to the stairs that led to the 3rd floor as the social media promoter tried to heal his wounded ego.
Kanan raced up to the 3rd and as she expected, she encountered a third person: a girl with who stood in front of 2 color-tiled electronic dance floors.
"Halt! No one gets past the mad dancer!" the girl sneered at Kanan as she started the music, clearly challenging the bluenette to a dance battle.
"A dance off? Oh please, let's do this s%$*!" chuckled Kanan with confidence as she took her place on the electro tiled floor next to the other girl.
A little while later…
"Is…*puff* that all you*puff* got?" asked the other girl who was clearly getting tired.
Kanan who was still going strong just laughed. "I'm just getting started!" she smirked as she busted several moves on the other girl who looked on in astonishment.
"I…" but the other girl didn't even finish her sentence before she keeled over on the electro tiled floor next to Kanan. "I *wheeze* can't…*cough* *cough* do this any *hack* *huff* longer! I *cough* don't get paid *huff* enough to do this *wheeze*!"
"Ha! I'll take it from here!" said Kanan with victory as she stepped over the exhausted girl and up the final set of stairs.
"Hey! Come *cough* back *huff* *puff* here *wheeze*!" cried the girl before she finally passed out.
"Geeze, I wonder what Manager Ito is paying these goofs." wondered Kanan as she sprinted up the stairs.
Finally, the swimmer burst through the door that led to the throne room on the 4th floor where Chika and Manager Ito were waiting for her.
"Kanan-chan, you came to save me!" cried Chika happily as Manager Ito grunted with frustration.
The athletic bluenette gave a crack of her knuckles before pointing to Manager Ito.
"Explain!" Kanan demanded.
Manager Ito just snorted as he pushed a button on a remote that sent several coils of rope launching themselves at Kanan. Before the bluenette could fend them off, they wrapped around her body trapping her arms at her sides.
"Hey! No fair!" cried Kanan as she tugged against the ropes.
"Chika will not be allowed to leave here until... she signs this contract!" Manager Ito stated as he pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.
After reading the contract, Kanan's eyes widened. "Hold on, you lured Chika here to sell real estate?!" she gasped.
"Of course. Allow me to explain Matsuura-san. When you invest in and/or purchase a timeshare property on one of the islands here in Uchiura Bay, you could rent it out to tourists and sightseers and watch you profits grow from compound rent each year." explained Manager Ito. He then raised the pen and paper to Kanan. "Therefore, if you refuse to sign, I am afraid that you and Takami-san will be trapped here forever. It is your choice Matsuura-san."
"Don't do it Kanan-chan!" cried Chika renewing her struggles on her seat.
Kanan glared at the scamming real estate agent before an idea came to mind.
"Fine! I'll sign it. Just let me and Chika go." she growled in a low voice.
Chika gasped in shock from behind the scammer before Kanan winked at her and smiled. Chika realized Kanan must have had a plan so she winked back and settled in.
Manager Ito smirked as he undid the ropes that restrained Kanan before holding out the pen and paper but he got a surprise. Instead of signing the paper, Kanan uppercut the scammer, tore the paper out of his hands and ripped it to shreds before pinning him to the ground as he gasped in pain.
"Now, if you want to still be able to use your arms for the next few months, I suggest you tell me how to undo Chika's restraints and unjam the elevator so we can leave!" threatened the athletic bluenette as Manager Ito groaned from underneath her.
"Okay! Okay! Fine! To unlock Chika's restraints, press the blue button." he said pointing to a blue button on the remote control. "To use the elevator, press the green button, then press 'confirm'."
Kanan gave the scammer a final kick before taking the remote control and using it to free Chika and get the elevator back into service. As soon as she was free, Chika leapt up and gave her friend a hug.
"Oh Kanan, you came back for me!" she cried as her friend hugged her back. "And I'm so sorry for acting so conceited. I guess I got carried away." apologized Chika as Kanan gave her a motherly smile.
"Yes Chika, I did! There was no way I was going to leave you behind with this weirdo!" the bluenette replied gesturing to the groaning scammer on the floor. "And of course, I forgive you! You were only excited. A little too excited in my opinion."
Chika's face flushed crimson as she and Kanan took the elevator down to the first floor where the woman was still struggling to free herself from the sewing machine on the table Kanan trapped her in earlier.
"Uh Kanan-chan, what did you…" started Chika before Kanan cut her off.
"I'll explain later." replied the swimmer briskly as they left the building and climbed into their boat.
"So, I guess this means I'm not the Queen of School Idols." sighed Chika as Kanan started her boat.
"No, but you'll always be queen of Aqours to me and the rest of us!" smiled Kanan as she bopped Chika on the nose earning a giggle from the ginger. "Now, let's go back to my place Chika. We can facetime You-chan and we can tell you all about the other little islands in the bay!"
As Kanan and Chika's boat pulled out, another boat pulled in and out stepped a tall ravenette with green eyes and a pair of hair clips holding her long raven hair off the sides of her face.
"I'm here! The Queen of Muse Fans has arrived!" announced Dia loudly as the beat-up Manager Ito went out to meet her.
"Ah, Kurosawa-san, pleased to meet you. Please follow me." he gestured as Dia eagerly followed him into the building…
A few minutes later…
Chika and Kanan sailed through bay almost to Kanan's dive shop and island home when a piercing cry split through the air.
"BUU BUU DESU WAAAAAA!"
The pair glanced behind them towards Sagi Shima Island and shared a somewhat confused and somewhat amused look.
"Do you think that was…" began Chika but Kanan interrupted her.
"Nah!" dismissed the bluenette with a handwave as she and Chika laughed.
End.
Author's Note: To those of you who didn't catch it, "Sagi-shi" means "scammer" in Japanese. "Sagi Shima", the place Chika, Kanan, and later Dia traveled to literally translates to "Scammer Island".
