You're waiting for a train. You're not sure where you're going. You're not even sure if this is the right train. But one thing you're sure of is the sick feeling bubbling in the pit of your stomach that seems unlikely to disappear. You haven't seen Dan in nearly a year and you ended it on bad terms. You remember all the terrible things you said to him, in a bid to make him fight and stay, only to watch him walk away. You were unsure as to why he called you out of the blue and asked to see you, but hearing his voice brought back all the memories you had long since pushed to the back of your mind.
The train arrives and you do the best you can to push through the barrier of people and get on board. You manage to get a window seat and lean back looking out at the station taking in the view: the sea of business people talking frantically on their iphones, the parents trying to push their prams through oncoming surge while their other children run around lost in a world of their own, the people struggling to push down the handles of their cases as they get closer to the stairs.
You begin to think about the little things you used to love about Dan Howell: the stupid witty comments he would come out with, the little jokes, the violent reaction to you touching his neck, that smile that took over his face when he'd see you. But most importantly, the way he would wrap his arms around you and it felt like the whole world had stopped for a moment.
It is not long before you arrive at Kings Cross station and the sickening feeling has only heightened. Stepping off the train you look around reluctantly to try and see the familiar face. Then you spot him; his messy jet black hair, his stupidly expensive Korean shirt, and that perfectly sculpted face.
He spots you and begins running, engulfing you in a warm hug when he finally reaches you; the kind you had spent several nights only dreaming of experiencing again.
"I've missed you so much." He whispers in your ear and then kisses your neck.
And in that moment you begin to think that maybe, just maybe things might be starting to turn around.
