Chapter One

Free College Tuition for Strangers

(Bold dialogue means it's a text message)


The only thing that floated through the man's mind was a name: Robin. "Is that my name? More importantly, where am I?" Robin thought, his senses loosening as he felt his conscious self go adrift in a pitch black void. Suddenly, a voice called out.

"Hey mister, are you alright?" The voice seemed to latch onto him, and Robin opened his eyes. He found himself staring at a blue haired man, and a blond haired woman stood next to him as sunlight poured into his eyes.

"You know, there are much better places to take a nap than on the ground, right?" The blue haired man said as he held out his hand. "Whatever, just take my hand." He helped the white-haired stranger off the green grass and watched as he dusted himself off.

"W-Where am I?" Robin asked in a groggy tone.

"Well…" The woman said as she held a gray rectangular object. "It's currently... 1:00 in the afternoon, today is September first, 2012, and you're currently just outside of Ylissean University, which is in the aptly named town Ylisse. My name's Lissa, and this man is my brother Chrom." She said as she gestured to the blue haired man. Lissa wore a pale yellow sundress with white leggings and a short sleeved shirt underneath; her blonde hair was up in playful pigtails.

"We're currently enrolled at that university, and our older sister, Emmeryn, is the head of the college board. You look lost, so we could take you to her if you want." Chrom said.

"That sounds good." Robin yawned as he stretched his arms up.

"Say, where'd you get that snazzy coat?" Lissa pointed to his sleeve as she started walking with Chrom while Robin followed.

"What coat?" Robin patted his shoulders and discovered that he was indeed wearing a coat. "Oh, this." Robin took off the coat and noticed how the purple trim blended into the slightly darker purple that was the main color.

"I've got a better question, do you know who you are?" Chrom asked.

"I don't. All I know is that my name is Robin."

"Robin, huh. Gotta admit, it has a nice ring to it." Lissa said.

"So what is that rectangular object you're holding?" Robin asked.

"Oh, this?" Lissa showed Robin the object. "You don't know what a phone is?"

"What's a phone?" Robin tilted his head in confusion.

"Well uh…" Chrom tried to think of an explanation. "If you have a phone, and someone else has a phone, you can talk to them through it. You can also browse the internet, play games, and do a bunch of other things with them."

"What exactly is the internet?" Robin asked, more confused than before.

"This might take a while…" Lissa said as she started to explain technology to Robin. This continued for about ten minutes before they arrived at the campus. A blonde man wearing a tank top waited for them at the main gate.

"Lissa, do you have any idea how worried I was about you? You could've told me you were going off campus." The man said.

"Easy there Vaike," Chrom warned. "Lissa might just snap if you say that special word…"

"Are you saying that I'm delicate?" Lissa gritted her teeth, and Robin could tell that she was on the verge of exploding into an uncontrollable rage.

"No, no, I'm not saying you're delicate. Just please be careful next time." Vaike held his hands up, and Lissa kissed him.

"Thank you for not using that word. Robin, I don't think I introduced you to my boyfriend, Vaike. Vaike, meet Robin." Vaike held out his arm.

"Nice to meet you," Robin said as he shook Vaike's hand.

"The pleasure's all mine," Vaike said. "I'm known as the muscles guy. If you need anything lifted, I'm your man."

"Lissa! Thank goodness you're alright!" Yelled a blond girl wearing a dress, as she sprinted towards Lissa.

"Maribelle! Why is everyone worrying about me?" Lissa asked in a confused tone.

"Because every instance where you get lost or go missing, something disastrous happens." Said a red-haired woman wearing a robe and glasses behind Maribelle.

"What!?" Chrom yelled. "Miriel, that's preposterous. Name one time something bad happened to Lissa whenever we go wandering."

"You mean that time Lissa tripped and got a concussion? Or that time she tumbled down a mountain and spent a week in the E.R?" Maribelle said with a smirk.

"Well… uh… that was completely out of our hands." Chrom's tone was an indication that he was slowly losing his confidence.

"Chrom, you really need to learn how to accept when you're wrong." Another woman came up behind him and dragged her fists along the top of his head. She wore a purple-ish sundress and had long brown hair.

"Gah! Sumia, you need to stop doing that!" Chrom jumped in surprise.

"Whatever, who's the new guy?" Sumia asked.

"Alright everyone, this is Robin. Lissa and I found him while we were wandering, and he can't remember who he is. We're bringing him to Emm so he can get enrolled and join our sorority.

"Wait what? I never said I wanted to enroll." Robin backed up.

"Well, I figured you'd want to join our group." Chrom looked at him with worriment.

"Fine fine, I'll see if I can enroll." Robin sighed. "What could possibly go wrong?"

"Greetings Robin, my name is Miriel, and I enjoy literature greatly." The woman with glasses waved her hand.

"Well, 'Robin'," Maribelle made air quotes with her fingers. "If that even is your real name, I don't trust you for a second." Maribelle refused to make eye contact with him.

"I don't blame you." Robin shrugged. "I don't mean you or your friends any harm, though."

"If Lissa trusts you for more than a week, then I'll have no choice but to trust you as well." She answered back, arms folded.

"Hello, my name's Sumia." The brown-haired girl from before walked up to him, hand outstretched. "I'm really easy to get along with, but I might-" Sumia barely finished her sentence before she tripped over a rock. "Stumble... occasionally."

"Well, we better get going," Chrom said as he helped Sumia to her feet. "Come on, Emm's office is this way. Everyone else, go to the usual hangout place. We'll be back in an hour." Chrom grabbed Robin by the arm and led him to the administration building. Lissa kissed Vaike on the cheek and hurried after them. From inside a nearby building, Cordelia rested her binoculars on the brown desk and sat down in front of her table. She was lucky enough that her dorm had a prime view of the central courtyard, which is where Chrom was bound to be. Her phone buzzed; Sumia was texting her.

"how are u doing?" Sumia had messaged.

"Fine, thank you for inquiring." Cordelia replied before she went back to staring out the window. Chrom wasn't there, but Sumia was. Sumia looked towards the window of her dorm and saw Cordelia gazing sullenly out said window.

"Oh my God, is she really spying on Chrom again? I need to put a stop to this, once and for all." Sumia mumbled to herself quietly as she walked towards her dorm.

A couple minutes later, Robin sat in the spacious office of Chrom's sister. "You do realize how much trouble I'd be in with the board if I grant this stranger with no identification whatsoever a scholarship, right?" Emmeryn put her hands on her temples.

"Come on, sis, do it for me. He looks smart enough to get straight A's." Chrom said as he stood up from the brown chair. Robin sat calmly in his chair while Lissa twiddled her thumbs.

"Alright, I have an idea." Emmeryn held up a piece of paper. "This right here is our campus acceptance test. If he passes, I can try to admit him to our university."

"Okay, deal." Robin stood up. "Where should I take it?"

"In that room, right there." Emmeryn pointed to her left, where there was a dimly-lit small gray room with a single window and a desk. Robin grabbed the paper and walked into the room, sitting down in the small chair. He read the first question.

"Who was the creator of the automobile?" The question asked. Immediately after reading it, a name floated through Robin's mind. "Karl Benz." That sounded like the answer, so he wrote it down. All of the other questions followed the same pattern, and he finished the test in two minutes. He exited the room, and lightly placed the test on Emmeryn's desk.

"Impossible. That test should've taken you an hour!." Emmeryn's eyes widened as she put her reading glasses on. "What the? I can't believe it! All these answers are perfect! Your response to question number twenty-one is better than the example sheet!"

"Thank you. To be honest I wasn't confident on that particular question."

"Robin." Emmeryn put down the test. "We can't afford to not have you enrolled. Do you still wish to enroll?"

"Yes," Robin answered, his face beaming.

"Welcome to Ylissean University. Chrom can give you the tour, and show you your dorm. You'll receive your schedule tomorrow, and classes start tomorrow at 9:00 AM sharp." Emmeryn shook Robin's hand and handed him the key to his dorm. "There is a slight chance that our other staff members won't accept, but it's small regardless."

Later that day, Chrom stood in front of Robin's dorm. "Well, that ends the tour. Your roommate should be here soon, so I suggest you wait for a bit. If he or she wants to join our group, we always accept." Chrom handed Robin a map of the college that had a spot circled in red marker and walked away. Robin opened the door and admired how spacious the room was. It was like a line of symmetry went down the middle as both sides were identical. There was a kitchen counter that connected both sides, two fridges, two king size beds, and two big tables for what he assumed was writing. After he sat down on the bed, the door opened and an orange-haired man walked in.

"Hey there, my name's Gaius, but you can call me the Sweets Master," The man said as he lugged a brown suitcase to the other bed, opening it to reveal an avalanche of candy. He wore a black leather jacket and had a black bandana on his head.

"That's a great deal of candy…" Robin was dumbstruck that Gaius could carry that much weight.

"No kidding. Those stairs at the entrance caused me to fall more than I'd like to admit. So what's your name?" Gaius asked.

"Robin." He answered back.

"What's your favorite band? Mine's Smash Mouth." Gaius raised his eyebrow in a quizzical manner.

"I don't know anything besides my name."

"Wow. You don't remember anything? That's weird. You're weird. I like you. If you haven't noticed, I also like candy. Want some?" Gaius held out a candy bar.

"Sure." Robin took the bar and ate it.

"Tastes good, doesn't it?"

"It sure does," Robin said as he felt the chocolate melt in his mouth.

"Soooo… wanna be friends?" Gaius asked.

"Sure, but it's a little early don't you think?" Robin arched his eyebrow.

"Well I know nobody here, and I figured I should start with my roommate."

"Alright then, let's be friends." Robin shook Gaius' hand.

"Say, what's that lump in your coat pocket?" Gaius pointed to Robin's pocket.

"What lump?" Robin said as he felt a phone-sized object in his pocket. He pulled it out and it was indeed a phone.

"Oh sweet, is that an iPhone?" Gaius asked as he pulled his phone out (A blackberry with a candy wrapper case).

"I guess it is," Robin said as he admired the case, which looked like a yellow book with a lightning symbol on it. Robin went through the set-up procedure with his phone while Gaius watched over his shoulder. Immediately after he was finished, his phone started ringing. "Who could this be?" Robin said as he put the phone to his ear.

"Hello, is this Chrom? This is Cordelia speaking." Said a feminine voice, high in pitch and sounding quite nice.

"No, this is Robin. I do know a man named Chrom-" The voice cut Robin off.

"I-I-I." The voice struggled to get the words out. "I love you Chrom! I've loved you since kindergarten and I haven't stopped! Please, tell me you return my feelings."

"As I said, I'm not Chrom. You must have the wrong number or something."

"Wait, you're not Chrom? Oh my... I'm so very, very sorry!" The voice hung up.

"Who was that?" Gaius asked.

"Some woman named Cordelia had the wrong number and called me by accident," Robin said as he put the phone down. Chrom's message rang through Robin's ears. "By the way, I'm technically part of a college group, and the leader said you can join if you want."

"Perfect, let's go there now," Gaius said as he stood next to the door. "I'm just gonna follow you because I do not understand this campus' layout." The two walked towards the spot Chrom marked on the map. Meanwhile, Cordelia put her phone down and covered her face with a nearby white pillow.

"How did it go?" Sumia asked as she sat opposite Cordelia on her bed, checking her phone.

"You gave me the wrong number. I called some man named Robin by accident and confessed my love to him." Cordelia moaned.

"Wait, did he say he knew Chrom?" Sumia asked.

"Yes, why exactly does that matter?"

"Oh my God, you just called Mr. Amnesia himself! The handsome mystery man whose very looks cause all to swoon!" Sumia teased Cordelia.

"Please stop," Cordelia looked at Sumia, tears streaking her eyes. "Need I remind you this was your idea."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I still think you should ask him out, though." Sumia stated as she stood up.

"It simply wouldn't work out. He's the head of a house, and I'm just a nobody." Cordelia pressed the pillow further into her face.

"Oh, come on. Just ask him out and see where it goes."

"Are you sure about this?" Cordelia removed her head from the pillows.

"Absolutely, in fact, you could join our house, too."

"I'd like that. I'll ask him out tonight, and here's hoping he loves me back." Cordelia stood up and grabbed her brown suitcase.

"This is not going to end well." Sumia thought as she helped stuff clothes into the suitcase. Cordelia finished packing her things and walked with Sumia to the house as the afternoon sun shined outside.

Meanwhile, Emmeryn walked into the campus meeting room while carrying a stack of papers, making eye-contact with her coworker, Frederick, as he sat in his chair.

"May I ask what the hell you're doing, accepting students who have no background whatsoever?" A man with red hair asked as he sat in his black chair.

"If you'd let me explain myself, Gangrel," Emmeryn responded, rolling her eyes as she set the stack of papers on the table. "I think our academy would greatly benefit from enrolling Robin."

"How so?" Frederick asked, taking another sip of his decaffeinated coffee. "Gangrel has a point, you know. We can't just go around and admit people who, for all intents and purposes, popped into existence this morning."

"These are the results from Robin's application test." Emmeryn handed copies of the paper to Frederick, Gangrel, and a man with long white hair.

"How the hell did he do so well?" Walhart stared at the parchment in disbelief, his mouth agape.

"Exactly," Emmeryn smirked as she sat down in her chair, watching in delight as the other members became dumbfounded.

"He got every single question right." Gangrel stated, placing the paper on the desk. "That's never happened before."

"There isn't even a logical answer to question 49! It's an opinion disguised as a question, and he still got it correct!" Walhart placed stood up, pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back. "He's exceedingly smart, but we still know next-to-nothing about him!"

"Here's my proposition: We enroll him for one year, free of charge, but we persuade him into winning that regional quiz contest. If he accepts and wins, we'll get a great deal of profit and he can stay enrolled. If he refuses, we have no choice but to let him go." Emmeryn stood up, placing both hands on the table and leaning forward.

"Sounds good to me." Gangrel looked over the paper again, a smile creeping along his face.

"I don't know," Frederick took another sip of his coffee, downing the remaining half. "I still don't trust the fact that he has no background."

"I agree with you, but the pros simply outweigh the cons. All in favor of admitting Robin to Ylissean University, say 'I'." Emmeryn raised her hand. "I."

"I." Walhart's hand shot up like a rocket.

"I." Gangrel spoke with glee as he raised his hand.

Frederick let out a sigh. "I."


Special thanks to Lily F. for inspiring this story.

So what will happen to all these lovable bastards? Will Cordelia actually ask Chrom out? Will Robin join the group (painfully obvious spoilers: he does)? Will Stahl wear a jockstrap? Find out all this and more in the following chapters.