"Suki desu."
"You don't mean that after what I've just told you." I said, feeling my chest tighten at the sight of her – hurting.
"Suki desu."
She whispered softly through her tears as she lifted her gaze from the ground and looked at me straight in the eyes.
"Let's get you to bed, you're just not feeling well."
I grabbed her by her wrist and turned my back to her, tugging her gently to follow me. But she stood still, and held my hand as she called for my name.
"Makoto," I missed how my name rolls off her tongue like honey. I missed the warmth of her touch against my skin. I miss her smile, I miss her laugh, I miss her stoic reprimanding voice, I miss all of those joking insults, I miss all of the times we spent together, I miss us… I miss her.
"Daisuki desu."
My heart crushed, upon hearing how broken she is. I'm a monster for breaking her like this.
"Stop it, let's go." I responded, feeling needles pierce against my skin into my system. My response was hurting me as well, but I must do what is right. I can't give in.
"Aishiteru."
She spoke sincerely, pouring her heart out into the simple word like she always do when she tells me she loves me.
The word finally broke me into tears. I know I couldn't fight the feelings that I still have for her. I know I couldn't never stop this yearning for her – because it is always her, always will be.
Unable to control myself, I faced her and pinned her into the wall with my body, both my hands placed on either side of her head.
I panted hard, trying not to cry in front of her but miserably failing as she gave me a longing smile with her hand cupping my cheek gently.
She closed her eyes, and I instinctively leaned in to capture her lips in a passionate yet loving kiss. I could taste our tears as we deepened the kiss, both consumed by passion and desire.
My senses intensified, wanting to memorize every second of this night, wanting to carve this moment in my mind. Every touch, every kiss, every 'I love you's'.
"I missed you so much," She whispered against my lips as she pulled gently away from the kiss. I smiled at her and cupped her face.
"I missed you too. I missed you so much."
I never changed. I tried to be tough but I'm the one who ended up choking in tears.
She entangled her fingers through my hair as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She just gave me the smile that I love, and pulled me in to seal our lips once more.
She shivered as my hands started to roam down her back and moaned softly against my mouth as I deepened the kiss. Without breaking the kiss, I led her to the bed, and laid her gently down as I slowly unbutton her shirt.
With the pieces of cloths that once hid, our nakedness scattered on the floor. We looked at each other. Both exposed. Both vulnerable. I took her scarred hand and kissed it softly as I gently murmur how beautiful she is before letting my hands savor the warmth of her skin.
My fingers brushed against her bare skin softly, gently tracing every curves and valleys of her body. She moaned and trembled slightly against my touch as I expertly touch her intimately, with tenderness.
"I love you," I murmured against her neck as I gently entered her. "Kyoko…"
She tilted her head back and moaned, as I started thrusting into her. With our bodies intertwined, we both spiraled into an endless circle of pleasure – hearts beating as one.
We kept going for hours, until we both settled into a tight embrace that could warm our bare bodies through the cold winter night.
She nuzzled her nose into my chest. "I'll miss you."
I pulled slightly away and cupped her face, leaning in to bump our nose together. Slowly, I gave her a quick chaste kiss as I whisper, "I'll always be with you."
Always.
She smiled at me and slowly slid her hand resting on my shoulder to my hand to entwine our fingers.
We held each other tightly for hours until slowly dawn begins to crack.
"Liar."
Her voice cracked as tears started streaming down her face once more.
I smiled sadly at her.
I'm sorry.
"It's time for you to sleep," I whispered, trying to hide the sadness in my voice as I softly caressed her cheeks.
She shook her head, she never changed, her stubbornness never changed. I smiled in defeat and sighed.
"Please, stay." She pleaded desperately and it hurts to see the pain in her eyes.
Mustering every ounce of strength that I had to utter a respond, I spoke firmly.
"We'll meet again… in a year … I promise you."
Slowly, I felt my body slowly fading as the sun light streamed through the windowpane.
I could no longer feel the tight clutch of her hand, and her legs entwined with mine.
"Makoto, please." The hopelessness in her voice broke me apart, but as I depart, I need to swallow my own tears and to hold all of the sadness whirling up inside of me. I need to be strong for her.
I closed my eyes and smiled before pressing my lips softly against hers.
"I love you."
I savored the softness and the warmth of her lips against my own, until I could no longer feel it.
My time was up.
My heart was breaking at the sight of her pain, she was hurting because of me, she is crying because of me.
I should've ended it. I should've ended 'us' so that she could finally move on, and be happy.
But turns out, I couldn't.
I love her.
I love her more than my own soul, more than myself, more than everything, more than anything in the world.
And I couldn't let go of her as much as she couldn't let go of me.
I tried to touch her cheek, but my hand passed through her figure.
I wanted to wipe her tears away and tell her that I am here.
But I couldn't.
Our time is up.
My time is up…
"We'll see each other again… When winter arrives and when the snow falls from the sky."
