Drake was pretending to sleep.

Normally he fell unconscious seconds after hitting the pillow but tonight was an exception. Josh wasn't home yet and it was two a.m., damn it. There hadn't been work - Drake knew Josh's schedule better than he knew the times of his own classes - there hadn't been anything except some vague mention of someone named "Ben" and magic shows or flute recitals or something stupid that made Josh go out and not come back until ...

Drake grimaced the ceiling. Next to him the digital clocked flashed off another minute.

Eventually the door creaked open. Tiptoe footsteps and Drake's frown relaxed into a smug grin. Josh's small bedside lamp clicked on and Drake quickly closed his eyes, feigning sleep. He was just about to "wake up" when he heard a voice, one that was distinctly not Josh's.

"Com'ere," the male voice whispered seductively. The sound of kissing followed as well as the squeak of springs from Josh's mattress.

A cold rush of unwelcome surprise slid down Drake's spine. He kept still as the kissing continued for a few minutes more.

Of all the rotten ... he thought, hypocritcally, of course as he'd never had a second's worth of thought about sneaking a girl up here to make out when Josh was asleep. But this was Josh damn it, not him and this wasn't some anonymous girl, a pretty momentary distraction, this was some jerk named Ben and he was making out with Josh, his Josh and ...

"Yeah, um, Ben, I'm not sure we should be doing this." Ah, Josh. Finally making some sense.

Another kiss, a soft moan followed by laughter. "Why not?"

Josh sounded like he was fighting for breath. "Uh, I ... I ... I'm not sure. I just don't feel comfortable doing this with Drake around. You know. Right there."

"He's asleep. Besides, you told me he brings girls up here all hours of the night. I'm sure he won't mind."

Wrong, Drake thought, unable to stop his lips from curling disdainfully. I mind a helluva lot, you ... you ... Josh-stealer, you.

He could hear Josh shuffling uncomfortably. "Yeah, that's true. But I've spent many years of my life trying not to imitate Drake. Besides ... he's ... um ..."

There was a long pause. Drake's chest tightened. "You're into him, aren't you?" Ben asked.

Josh answered far too quickly. "What?! No! No way." He laughed, but it was that choked, high-pitched laughter that Josh had when he was confronted with an uncomfortable truth. "He's ... he's ... he's my brother for God's sake. Into him." More laughter, but it was getting weaker, until fading away entirely. Josh sighed deeply. "Okay, yeah. I am. But that's not going to happen. So let's not talk about it anymore, okay? And, I'm sorry but I think we should say goodnight now."

Ben inhaled sharply and Drake could hear him rise from the bed. "No problem. But do us all a favor, Josh. Don't lead people on. It's rude."

"I'm really sorry." Josh was good at apologizing. If anything he was sincere. "Should I ..."

"That's okay. I can lead myself out."

The door clicked shut and Drake let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Unfortunately, he'd also been moving closer and closer to the edge of his bunk bed during this conversation and the exhale was enough to send him toppling over the edge.

He crashed onto the floor in a tangled heap of blankets and sheets, his pillow covering his head.

Josh's sigh was loud and pained. "You were awake for all of that, weren't you?"

Drake felt his face turn burning hot and not because of the blankets. "Uh. Yeah?"

"Great. Just great. Look, Drake ... " The blankets were pulled off and it was suddenly Josh there in front of him, helping him to his feet. "You shouldn't have overheard that. Not that you should be eavesdropping ..."

"Hey, you came up with ... with ... "Drake snorted disdainfully. "That guy."

Josh looked at him quizzically. "Ben. His name's Ben. Not that I'll ever see him again."

"Good. He sucks," Drake said with a knowing nod.

Josh gave him a long-suffering look. "What I'm saying is that I'd appreciate you forgetting about this. I know I'm a loser and a fuck-up but I'd like to have an ounce of dignity left at some point in my life."

"You're not a loser," Drake protested. "You're a great guy who just has bad taste in guys." He paused, thinking for a moment. "In guys that aren't me that is. By the way, were you really serious about ..."

Josh turned an interesting shade of white. "Yes." Shortly, as if it hurt him to admit it. "But I'd really like you to forget about that. Think you can?"

Drake shrugged. A part of him was embarrassed, another sort of annoyed (now he tells me) yet another reeling with glee. Josh was into him, so much that he couldn't even make out with another guy and while it was weird, it was wonderful too. "If you want me to."

"I really want you to," Josh said, enunciating each word slowly as if trying to make sure that Drake understood. As if he were explaining to a small child or worse, someone too dumb to get it.

Drake shrugged again, but a smile was playing around his lips. "No problem. Although it'll be a lot easier just to do this." He reached up and pulled Josh down, kissing him softly, enjoying the rough taste of his mouth. It was Josh's shocked intake of breath melting into something hotter that turned Drake inside-out with need.

Girls were nice but they weren't this. This was Josh. Someone he'd loved for longer than he cared to admit, in ways that veered from affectionate frustration to this. Warmth turned to mind-melting heat and he moaned against Josh's mouth, leaning in for more when Josh abruptly pulled back, his cheeks red with a fiery blush.

His throat worked as he swallowed. "Drake. You ... you ... you don't mean this. You're confused."

Drake tilted his head at him. "This from the guy who goes to all that trouble to sneak Ben in here and throws him out before getting to second base." He snorted. "Yeah, I'm confused."

Josh shook his head as he weaved his unsteady way to the couch, feeling along its back to keep him upright. He plopped down on its worn cushions. "This is insane. This isn't the way it's supposed to go."

"Tell me how it's supposed to go then."

"It's supposed to be me wanting you and you never knowing and me being miserable but suffering through it. You're supposed to marry some chick who's not good enough for you and I'm supposed to be your best man. I'm supposed to get married to some poor girl I don't really love or go out with guys I don't like for the rest of my life, I'm not sure which."

Drake neatly jumped over the back of the couch and landed next to Josh. He crossed his legs. "Haven't decided on that part yet?"

Now Josh looked exasperated. Thank goodness. "No, I have not."

"Doesn't matter to me. Sounds like it sucks either way." He tilted his head toward Josh and smiled. "Why settle for sucky? Why not have better?"

Josh's lips spread into a tight line. "Because that's the way it should be," he grit out. "Any other way isn't right. The way I feel about you isn't right."

"So what does that make the way I feel about you?"

"I don't know," Josh said, burying his head in hands. "I can't think anymore."

"Then maybe you should stop thinking," Drake said and oddly enough, it seemed to make perfect sense as he leaned in for another kiss, this one even better than the first. Josh didn't fight him this time, his kisses were less tentative and shocked but when Drake went a little further, Josh stopped him.

"Um ..." Josh's eyes were as wide as a deer when looking into the headlights of a six-ton tractor trailer.

Drake smiled. "That's okay. I can wait." He leaned back against the couch with a smug expression. Suddenly the world was right again and Drake Parker was feeling very pleased with himself. "I can wait as long as you like."

Josh glanced at him suspiciously. "What's the matter? You've changed your mind?"

Drake rolled his eyes. "No. I'm saying I can wait as long as you like."

"Maybe I don't want to wait."

"I thought you did!"

"Well, yeah, I guess I do but you don't have to be so 'whatever' about it."

"I'm not being 'whatever' about it!"

"You are too!"

"Am not!"

And the arguing continued, with certain breaks in-between, for the better portion of the night.

0o0o0o

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