They weren't just friends, they were lovers.
Merlin stared at the solar powered toy; it was funny to watch its oversized head quiver with certainty. It made him smile. He put down the tiny mannequin, sighed, and then unable to stop himself picked it up again. Arthur would have loved this. Merlin could just picture the two of them together now, laughing at the wobbling heads, chatting about what they were going to do that evening;
"A movie?" Merlin always suggested watching a movie, it was a safe choice. Nothing too intimate, but still an opportunity to spend time together.
"Obviously!" Arthur always agreed to watch a movie.
"With popcorn?" They were, of course going to get popcorn.
"Again, Obviously!" It was a tradition of theirs.
"Sweet?" At this point Merlin would raise his eyebrows knowing Arthur's answer.
"Salty!" predictable, it was one of his best qualities.
The wobbly solar toy brought Merlin back into the shop. He blinked the vision away and placed the item down with a definite slam. The truth was Arthur had never experienced Netflix and chill, or even tasted popcorn… he had died long before all of this had been invented… and anyway in the version of life Merlin had been thinking of, he was young still, not a day past twenty five. Merlin snorted, and then coughed to cover it up. He couldn't imagine himself as a young and dare he say handsome man anymore. Since he could remember he had always had the appearance of an ancient man with wrinkly skin, frail hands and pale blue eyes. Generally speaking, although he no longer had a young body, his mind was still flourishing and not yet withering. Saying that, there were times when he had trouble remembering his own name and odd bits of information began to slip from his mind. Arthur's name was - "He did that to you," whispered a voice that Merlin was overfamiliar with. He hated how he had no control over his thoughts, it was pure randomness, the way he could just be thinking and then suddenly another thought that related to past Merlin popped up. He growled slightly, silently telling his own thoughts to go away.
"Can I help you?" Answered a young sales assistant, clearly thinking Merlin had made the noise to grab his attention.
Merlin did not turn around. This was an advantage of his age; he could pretend not to hear people and no one would question it.
"Would you like me to help you reach anything?" the assistant tried again, this time stepping closer to Merlin.
Merlin shook his head. He could understand why the person was trying to make conversation, after all the shop was empty and Merlin had been standing there for a long time now. But he didn't like it and half had the mind to tell the boy to mind his own business.
"Okay! Well please let me know if I can help in anyway!" thankfully the assistant began to move away from Merlin, who began to relax. His past had taught him to be wary of strangers and people getting too close for comfort.
Merlin was just about to pick up another object when the voice spoke again "He cursed you both mentally and physically!"
"Shut up! Shut up, Shut up!" Merlin whispered inside his own head. He turned around and began to march slowly out of the shop, the sales assistant looked up, and Merlin desperately tried to cover his face, but it was too late, the man had seen and gasped in that way humans did, the way that meant 'how ugly', 'poor you' and 'what horror' all in one look. Then he darted his eyes away, because as his mother had taught him, it was rude to stare…
_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_
"We have this room to ourselves Arthur, what do you want to do?" Gwen's voice floated into Arthur's ears, usually it was easy to play along and pretend for the sake of his father. But tonight his father wasn't there. Tonight he didn't have to pretend.
"I'm sorry Gwen I have to go…" He said bluntly. He rushed out the room and in his hastiness did not see Merlin standing outside the room clutching flowers to his chest. Merlin who had heard every word decided to follow Arthur, there was something he needed to tell him.
_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_
It was the first sight of Arthur that Merlin had seen in a long time. The visions were at first bad, very bad enough to make Merlin cower and quiver. But recently they had slowed down, it was still powerful enough to give Merlin a fast heart beat and a moment of breathlessness. He hadn't ever managed the art of breathing as well as seeing a vision and so he had to stop for a second to clear the dizziness growing in his mind. He raised his head and found himself looking at a BBC Merlin poster. The cast were staring intently into the camera; Richard Wilson, Katie McGrath, Angel Coulby, Colin Morgan, Bradley James and… Alexander Vlahos… Mordred.
He knew the legend, had been there when it was written, he knew what people thought; that Merlin had magic, Mordred and Arthur killed each other at the battle of Camelann, that Arthur would rise again. But the stories didn't capture the truth. When the legend became popular it was impossible, unimaginable to think that the once and future king was gay. so instead the historians painted over the truth and began to mould the king they wanted. Merlin understood why but at the same time he didn't understand at all. It was his life, yet people thought they had the audacity to write it for him.
His thoughts went back to that night. The one where Arthur's father wasn't there, the one that turned out to be their last night together…
Because the historians had always got it wrong.
They didn't want Merlin to be with Arthur. So gave him magic instead.
They didn't want Arthur to be only a prince. So made him king instead.
The truth was,
Arthur and Merlin were just two ordinary people…
Who were friends…
Well…
They weren't just friends…
They were lovers…
_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_
That night they had decided to go out and sit beneath an old oak tree to stare at the stars. The darkness that shrouded them made Merlin feel safe and free.
"Shhh! Merlin some one will hear us" Arthur whispered, with a stupid grin plastered onto his moonlike face. They both knew that this was ridiculous. It was the middle of the night and they were sitting under a tree, in the middle of nowhere. Merlin had subtly laid out his hand, Arthur had delicately put his own palm on top and lightly squeezed. They both smiled a little. It was all so perfect. Merlin looked over at the man he had fell in love with. His eyes danced over Arthur's brown short hair and hazel eyes, and fell on his red lips, ones that stood out so clearly against the rest of his face. Not in a bad way though, in a way that made Merlin curse his own lips for being so pale and ordinary.
Merlin's eyes found Arthur's, and in return Arthur's lips found Merlin's.
Little did they know at the time but that would be the last time their lips touched…
Little did they know that a shadowed figure was watching them from the dark…
It started to rain soon after that so they decided to call the outing to an end. That night the rain didn't bother them, they were just glad to be alive and to be alive with each other.
Merlin ran ahead.
Arthur laughed.
They neared the silent castle and linked arms.
_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_
Merlin forced himself back to the present day. He was still standing outside of the shop, still glaring in through the window at that damn poster.
He tried desperately not to remember,
so he walked a little quicker.
But his thoughts were still there.
Clawing him back to that night…
_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_/\/\_
"I'll catch you up." Arthur said "I just need to go to my room first, you know to get something."
"sure, see you in a minute." Merlin replied. He separated his arms from Arthur, who then neatly bounded up the stairs with a little kick at the top. Merlin smiled.
But within an instant that smile had vanished as a chilled voice from behind him stated "where were you?"
Merlin didn't need to turn around, he knew that the voice belonged to Mordred "I was just," he began
"Out in the rain… with Arthur." Mordred grabbed Merlin and pulled him so that they were eye to eye. Mordred began to mumble in an ancient language.
"Mordred please! Mordred Don't!" Merlin cried out trying to withstand the power of the magic.
But still Mordred continued to mumble
"You betrayed my secret and stolen my love for yourself. This time you have gone too far Merlin, this time you will pay!" almost as soon as the words were out in the open, Merlin felt his throat tighten. He breathed out, it tightened again. He was being strangled with an unimaginable amount of power. "ARTHUR!" he yelled with all the strength in his body.
Then he collapsed onto the floor and the world turned dark.
/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\_/\/\/\/\_
Beep.
Beep.
Merlin groaned
Beep.
He rubbed his eyes.
Beep.
"Shut up!" he moaned inside his head.
But the beeping continued.
Merlin abruptly sat up. The room he was in was white. A clinical colour of white, one that made Merlin look at his bed and his surroundings, by that point his suspicions were confirmed.
He was in a hospital.
"What happened?" Merlin thought. Though he guessed that he must have collapsed in real life and someone had called for an ambulance.
A flood of images came to his mind, but they were all scrambled up and Merlin couldn't make any sense of them but one word was repeated again and again, like the sound of a beating drum at the start of a battle
Mordred,
Mordred,
Mordred,
Mordred…
_/\_/\_/\_/\_
The distant sound of sword clashes bought Merlin to his senses, he felt so weak though and still couldn't catch his breath, but at least he was alive. He heard a shout of pain from somewhere near him. Wait. Mordred had used powerful magic to strangle him. Why was he still alive?
"Merlin can you hear me?" Merlin looked wildly around until his eyes came to focus on a person kneeling beside him. He thought it would be Arthur but instead saw Mordred grinning menacingly. "Good I'm glad you are still alive, otherwise it would have been no fun." Mordred paused "Hmm what should I do first? Cut off your nose or take out an eye." he grinned a little more. In the distance Merlin could see Arthur staggering to get up. He was injured. Mordred pulled out a small dagger from his belt and began to slowly press it onto Merlin's face. Merlin was unable to move or speak and could only narrow his eyes on the glinting blade.
Silently Arthur drew out his sword.
He thrust it into Mordred's Back.
Mordred screamed and jolted the dagger sending it rocketing down Merlin's face.
Merlin gasped with agony but found his lips didn't utter a syllable.
Mordred spun around digging his dagger into Arthur's-already injured - body.
They fell down together.
The castle became silent once again.
/\_/\_/
Merlin touched his face and found it damp with tears. That was the furthest he had got with the vision for a long time.
He thought he had got over it.
He thought he had put it behind him.
He thought that the pain of Arthurs death was gone.
But he was wrong.
He opened his mouth and screamed, but of course no sound escaped.
That was the curse Mordred had put upon him.
Mute and forever ageing, and of course there was the jagged scar on his face that served Merlin as a reminder everyday, on what had happened on that fatal night. For years after Arthur's death, Merlin had waited. He knew the prophecies, "Arthur is the once and future king and he will rise again.", but no Arthur came even though Merlin desperately needed him. Merlin grew older and older than any other man. He made friends but he never connected to anyone like he did with Arthur. His friends grew old and eventually they died as well. Life. death. Life. death. Yet Merlin just carried on. It was ironic though, he was alive but he was dead at the same time, for he could not live without Arthur Pendragon. He waited and waited, but now he knew.
Arthur was dead.
That was all there was to it.
Arthur was dead and Merlin couldn't deal with that
Merlin slowly unplugged every chord that was attached to him. and got up. He wasn't going to sit around waiting for doctors to tell him he had incurable cancer or brain damage or should have died a long time ago, he had heard it all before. He crept out of the room and down the corridor and into the lift. He pressed the button R, for roof. He climbed out of the doors and stepped down onto the floor. It was night time, and it was raining.
Merlin was not afraid.
He got to the edge of the roof and looked up into the rain
"I'll see you soon Arthur" he thought, he hoped.
Merlin took a breath in and-
