"I had a dream about you the other night…" Karma said to Amy, her voice wavering slightly.
"Was is it that one where I'm addicted to donuts and then the 'Intervention' people come and then they ask you to sing and you get super famous?"
"What? Amy, no. I only had that one like twice, ok? Let it be."
"Oh yeah! That's the song you sing! But then you change it to be about donuts."
Karma sighed, before reaching down and twiddling her thumbs. This was serious. She needed to talk to Amy about it, because who else would she go to? And it had to mean something. It's not every night that you have that type of dream about your best friend.
"Amy, be serious here. It was super embarrassing and I need you to help me make sense of this!"
"Well then was it the one where you are on stage for your first show, but then you realize you're naked? Because I promise you, that won't happen. Unless you want it too. Stripping isn't an awful fall back…"
The thought of Amy thinking about her stripping made Karma flush and feel warm. Ignoring the tight pull in the pit of her stomach was virtually impossible at this point.
"It was a sex dream Amy!"
"… I thought you said it was about me?" Amy asks meekly
"Well, it was."
"Did I walk in on you and Liam or something?"
"No. We were…. Well you know."
This was hands down the most mortifying experience of Karma's life. This was not going how she expected. What the hell had she even expected? For Amy to jump up and down? She had Reagan for fucks sake. She was in love with Karma, not anymore.
"No, I don't really."
And Amy still didn't get it. Was the thought that Karma could desire her that perplexing? Because it had been all Karma could think about for weeks.
"My head. Your thighs. There isn't much more to be said honestly"
"Oh…"
"Oh?"
Amy rose from the bed and walked toward the window. Karma wanted to get sick. She should have never said anything. She should have brushed it off. Never thought about it except on those lonely nights when she slipped her hands under her tank top and below her waistband.
"Karma, I don't even know what to say. You don't want me like that. You can't. You're straight. And I have the most amazing girlfriend. I finally thought things were looking up"
"Amy, I have no fucking idea what I want. All I know is that my dream was hot and-"
"Stop." Amy yelled, exasperatedly.
"What, why?"
"Fuck Karma. This is not ok. It just isn't. You can't fucking let me go just to pull me back in. When you want me to move on, you need to fucking mean it, ok? And this comes just as our friendship was getting back on track after the Liam thing…"
"I can't help it! I can't control what I dream about. I can't make my stomach stop tingling when you walk in the room. I can't stop jealously from coursing through my veins when I see you with Reagan. I can't get the thought of kissing you, feeling you, making you cum out of my head."
Karma was crying at this point. Amy wouldn't even look at her. And this was all coming out wrong. She never intended to reveal her developing feelings like this. Putting Amy on the stop was the least of her intentions. And yet here she was, fucking up again.
"Then maybe we should take a break until you can."
Karma was being stabbed and suffocated at the same time. The ceiling was falling and the world was shaking and there was absolutely nothing that she could do. The room was burning down before her eyes.
"Amy, we just took a break. We made everything ok again. We love each other. Don't you know it would fucking kill me to keep myself away from you?"
"I know, Karma. Believe me, I know. But we need to do what is best. And I can't just walk away from Reagan because you suddenly decided that you wanted a roll in the sheets."
God, is that she thought? Karma wanted everything for Amy. She always had. Why the fuck had it taken her so long to figure out? Why couldn't she put it eloquently and romantically like they do in the movies?
"I want Princess Sarcasm Amy. I want you. I love you" Her voice cracked as she tried to pour every ounce of emotion she was feeling into it.
"Well you can't have me Karma. Not now at least. I'm happy. I'm figuring my life out. And for the first time, I don't feel completely dependent on you. That's good. I'm making progress. Don't doubt that I love you, but I just… can't right now."
"Of course you can't."
She couldn't breathe. She wanted Amy to leave so she could wallow in peace. This was the worst fucking night imaginable. Worse than the Wedding Night and the Night of the Reveal combined.
"Karma, please don't be upset. I promise this feeling will go away. I've been there. And I'll be waiting on the other end for you to-"
Amy was interrupted by a text message from Reagan.
"Shit! I forgot we were going to…"
"Go. Just go. I'll be fine." Karma's voice was curt.
"No, no. Like I said, you're more important."
"Not anymore."
"It's not like that. I swear. You know I love you Karma!" Amy was crying now too.
"And Reagan?"
"… I'm getting there." It came out as a whisper.
"Then go. I'll be here. I'll be fine."
It was a lie. They both knew it. But Amy left regardless, after many sad, long glances back into the room.
Karma was devastated and alone in a grave that she had dug herself. She had lost the one person who had ever truly loved her. Amy was off fucking some other girl while Karma lay hugging her pillow closer and thinking of what could have been. There were so many moments she should've known, so many things that she said that she wished she could take back. So much she could've done differently.
But she didn't. And now she's here and it feels like Amy is a million miles away and everything just fucking hurts. Karma has no choice but to wait for Karma to come back.
And until then, she reasoned, she probably deserves this punishment anyways.
Karma's a bitch, after all.
AN: I tried out some angsty Karma here. This is not how I think things will go, nor is it how I want them to, but it's where this story ended up. Also, I feel so bad for Karma and I don't think she deserves any form of pain. And I think Amy would pick Karma in a heartbeat. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this! Any feedback would be highly appreciated.
