Warnings: Cutting and eating disorders.
Kurt sighed as he slipped into his room peeling off his slushy stained clothes as he went. Once he was showered and in sweats he sat down on his bed staring at the wall. He had left his phone in his bag so he didn't receive the reminder text from Blaine that he was coming over for a movie marathon. Kurt planned on another night of his dad being at the garage making dinner an easy skip and then being in bed before he got home. But all his plans were changed when he heard an eager knock at the front door.
Blaine was actually a little late. But only because he had stopped on his way at the florist and gotten Kurt a bouquet of red roses. He just wanted to make sure Kurt knew how much Blaine loved him and if words weren't enough, then flowers would have to speak. He happily knocked on the door, determined to make Kurt happy. He had seemed very down lately. And somehow, a little bit skinnier. Blaine figured it was because of the stress of all the hard classes Kurt was taking, but he didn't even seem to be happy on the weekends when he was school free. Blaine shrugged off the thought and plastered a smile onto his face as he knocked again.
Kurt shuffled quickly to the door when he heard the knock again. Normally he would have checked himself over before answering the door to anyone. To make sure his hair and clothes were okay but after the week he just endured all Kurt did was swing open the door, small frown painted onto his face. Blaine's smile fell slightly when he saw Kurt and the way his hair just laid onto his head without any special style to it. He was wearing sweatpants and a simple t-shirt. He was frowning and didn't look okay at all. "Baby? I-I brought you flowers," he smiled small and handed them over hopefully.
Kurt took the flowers in his hand and forced out a small smile, "Thanks, they're lovely but what are you doing here?" he questioned while stepping aside to let Blaine in.
Blaine frowned and stopped halfway inside. "Movie night? I brought chips and stuff too. And I thought I could make you a special meal! I've been practicing my lasagna just for you!" he said excitedly.
Kurt bit his lip, "I'm sorry but I um.. I'm not that hungry. Big lunch and all," he lied with false cheeriness in his voice and a fake smile on his face. "I can make you something if you'd like."
"I just ate too, so that's cool," Blaine shrugged and hung off his coat and removed his shoes. "We can chill first and I'll make us some food later," he smiled and stepped in closer to kiss him on the cheek. "Hi by the way." Kurt winced lightly as Blaine pecked his cheek. With their closeness it reminded Kurt of his arms so he quickly crossed them and made a mental note to throw a sweater on, "Hey.."
Blaine frowned deeper when Kurt crossed his arms and he gently tried to unwrap them. "Baby, come here. Just.. Hug me, okay? It'll be okay..." Kurt bit his lip again making sure to keep his wrists downturned as he hugged Blaine weakly. Blaine hugged him warmly and pulled back to search for answers in Kurt's eyes. "What's wrong? Please, Kurt... You've been acting strange lately.."
Kurt shook his head with a smile as he crossed his arms again, "Nothing's wrong. Just stressed with homework and glee. Do you mind if we go upstairs now? I'm freezing; I wanna put a sweatshirt on."
In an attempt to make Kurt smile, Blaine suddenly picked him up and carried him up the stairs bridal style, giggling softly the entire way. "I'll keep you warm," he laughed as he dropped them both down onto Kurt's bed.
"Uh thanks," he giggled slightly before getting up and rummaging through one of his drawers "But as warm as you are I'm just /really/ cold and a sweater will probably help." Kurt pulled out a think cardigan and wrapped himself in it before climbing into bed. As he did so his stomach gave a small rumbled and Kurt was thankful Blaine didn't hear. Even though he didn't hear as he climbed onto the bed with Kurt and wrapped his arms around him, he realized that he could clearly feel the ribs through his sweater even. His eyes widened. "Kurt.." he whispered. "You're /so/ much thinner than you were two weeks ago!"
Kurt gave a nervous laugh, "What are you talking about? I'm fine, better even."
Blaine swallowed hard before looking at Kurt. "Take off your shirt," he said calmly, eyes trained on Kurt's. "I need to see all of you right now. Take off your shirt." Kurt just narrowed his eyes and scooted away. He thought back to that morning when he checked himself over in the mirror. His pale skinny body was now drained of more color and there was no way he could hide the cuts on his wrists from Blaine if he obeyed.
"No. I'm /fine/, Blaine. Just drop it." Kurt practically snapped.
Blaine sat up on his knees and reached out to touch Kurt's arm. "Kurt, I need to see you before I can believe it," he said sharply.
Kurt flinched his arm away, "You are seeing me right now aren't you? I'm fine. Let's just watch a movie, okay? You can pick and I'll make hot chocolate for you and tea for me. Like always." Kurt tried desperately to change the subject.
"I'm /not/ letting this go," Blaine growled and stood up. "Either you tell me the truth, or I'm leaving until you're ready to tell me!"
"I am telling you the truth! I'm /fine/, I promise. Why are being like this?" Kurt was practically in tears.
Blaine's eyes were filled with tears. "Because I could feel your /ribs/! You're unhealthily skinny! And it doesn't help that you're barely able to make physical contact with me anymore!"
"I love you, you know that! It was probably just the angle I was sitting at that made you feel them. /Please/, Blaine. Just... come cuddle, okay? You can be the little spoon."
Blaine shook his head. "Shirt off or I'm leaving," he said firmly. "I want to believe you, but I have done that for like a month now and it just doesn't work anymore."
Kurt jumped up with tears running down his face as he angrily ripped off his shirt, "Okay, are you happy now?! Is this what you wanted?" he snapped before running into his bathroom clicking the lock shut behind him. Blaine immediately rushed after him, the condition of Kurt's body clearly confirming the thoughts he had tried to push away.
"Kurt!" he called out and knocked on the bathroom door. "Kurt, Kurt please open!"
"Leave!" Kurt demanded as he sunk down the wall quietly sobbing into his knees.
"I'm not leaving. I'll stay here for days if I have to," Blaine said softly. "I want you to talk to me. Because the fact that my boyfriend is starving himself is making me very nervous." After a minute Kurt slowly reached up to unlock the door. Once it was he sank back down keeping his shaking body curled up and his face hidden. Blaine sunk down on his knees next to him and immediately took the small, shaking boy into his arms. "Shhh..."
Kurt let out a shuddering breathe and his hands gripped his hair tightly. He didn't like that Blaine was near him, he felt disgusting and worthless and figured that Blaine shouldn't have to be around that. "Just go away." He cried.
Blaine gripped Kurt's wrist and forced him to look into his own eyes. "You are beautiful," he said simply in a strong voice. Kurt's eyes closed tightly and he hissed, pulling his wrist away. His newest cuts had been grabbed. Blaine frowned when Kurt pulled it back and glanced down, seeing Kurt's arm. "Ohmygod," he breathed. "Ohmy-" He covered his mouth with his hands and looked up at Kurt, his eyes filled with tears. Kurt chewed on his lip avoiding Blaine's eyes. Instead he focused his attention to his abandoned shirt and sweater which he wanted nothing more than to be wearing right then. Blaine tried to calm himself and his breathing. "Kurt.. How long has this been going on?" he whispered.
"Th-the umm.. the c-cutting about three months. And.. And I-I stopped e-eating about t-two months ago.." he whispered back having difficulty getting his words out.
Blaine bit his lip and allowed a tear to run down his cheek as he rolled up his sleeve and showed Kurt his wrist. There were tons of scars all across it. "I don't know if you ever noticed, but yeah... I stopped when I met you. You were what I needed." Kurt sat up immediately and ran his fingers across Blaine's wrist. At hearing his words he felt awful. Blaine had stopped for him but he couldn't the same. Tears were still falling continuously down his face. "I love you."
"I love you too," Blaine whispered and sniffled quietly. "Now will you let me hold you? We can figure everything else out later..."
Kurt nodded, "Can I put my shirt on first? Please.." he begged feeling incredibly vulnerable like this.
"Okay," Blaine whispered. "But I.. I want you to talk to me about this. We can't just let it be, you have to understand that."
"Why not? Things have been going fine, Blaine. I really am okay. It helps with..." Kurt trailed off shaking his head "Never mind."
Blaine shook his head. "You're not fine, Kurt. But we can talk later if you want to. You look exhausted," he said gently, brushing a strand of hair out of his forehead.
Kurt nodded letting out a breathe, "I kinda have a screaming headache too..."
"Take a nap and we can talk later. I'm sure you'll feel better after you rest," he said softly and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead.
Kurt only pulled back slightly when Blaine kissed his forehead then pushed himself off the ground to curl up in his bed. He made sure to leave plenty of space in case Blaine decided not to run off and stay with him instead. Blaine followed Kurt and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Is it okay if I lay down with you?" he asked quietly. Kurt swallowed and nodded into his pillow. He needed Blaine's caring presence, it was the only thing keeping him remotely calm. Blaine carefully crawled down and wrapped his arms around Kurt's tiny figure. "Sleep," he whispered gently and kissed his boyfriend's ear.
Kurt closed his eyes letting himself curl back into the warmth of another, healthier body. Soon enough he was drifting off into the first peaceful sleep he'd had in weeks.
Blaine held him closer and just enjoyed feeling like he could keep the other boy safe. He had to help him, make him know how perfect he was.
Author's Note:
Hope you like it. This story may be a different style than you're used to reading but it's because it's a roleplay between me and WriteAndReadToSurvive (Helen). Please review your thoughts and such. Chapter two is done too but I probably won't have that up until we finish chapter three. Enjoy!
