THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAIDIOTIC GENTLEMONKEYS
Author's Note: Serby's back, with a parody. Recently, I have seen the LXG movie, and was fascinated by it. I was implied that I must make a parody out of this one. None of the characters are mine. The idea of the League itself, I found out belong to America's Best Comics and Alan Moore, the characters themselves could be trace back to R.L. Stevenson, H.G. Wells, Bram Stoker and so on into the writers I don't even know. This has been done with some co-opertaion with my friend Kitty (who's not a member of Fanfiction.net). I don't want to make fun of Sean Connery because of his accent in the movie, but I must include it. Thank you for listening (damn, I sound boring!).
///////////////////
Dudn, dun Duuunnn!!!! The 20th Century Fox productions glow proudly in the night. Suddenly, electricity runs out and there now stand a torn, worn down sign making you wondering what the heck it is doing in 1889, in the middle of London ghettos.
Some bobbies are running down the street so fast, one of them slips and falls face down in the muddy puddle beneath them. What caused them to be shaken so? (Before this there was an introduction that I never bother to remember, and the simplest title you could ever imagine on TV screens, writing 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen')
A bloody WWII tank is rolling lazily down the cobbled path, not caring what on earth it comes up on. The policemen stare dumbly like calves at something very peculiar (like a TV screen), and wonder what on earth is this.
One bobby idiotically runs in the middle of the street, waving the beating up handle.
'Stop in the name of the law!' he yells.
Heh, tough luck. The tank just rolls over him, and underneath the 'tyres' can be heard the hissing of a deflated rubber policeman (did you really think they would let a real policeman get run over in a movie?).
The tank runs through the Bank of London's pillars, creating a whole lot of noise. It's a wonder how a huge tank like this, ramming into Bank of London, creating so much noise in the middle of the street, didn't draw any curiosity, or even wake up the residents who lived nearby!
The tank rips through the bookshelves, runs through walls, more pillars, safes, and finally stop in front of the thing they were looking for. The door of the tank opens, weird green smoke rises, and out comes..Barney and Pikachu!
Pikachu electrifies the policeman, while Barney had something worse.
'I love you, you love me, we are one happy family..' Screams the singing fat purple lizard.
'AAAAHHHH!!!' Scream the bobbies, running away from the horror that stalks the future generations of children.
When there was a clear scene, some unimportant person steps out, calling himself 'The Phantom' and dresses up as some Star Wars freak fan.
'Hahaha! I speak German!' Laughs the Phantom, and starts speaking in Zulu (it's still similar to German, or so he thinks).
'I love you Barney!' he says in 'German' . Translation in the movie: ' Get the treasure!'
*********
(Somewhere in Germany...)
'Hmmm..very good, very good!' Says the Phantom.
'Let us go!' Yells the scientist in proper German.
'No...but I think I will have fun first! Let me see what happens when I blow out these gray balloons! ' Squealed the Phantom.
'You fool! They are filled with helium!' Screams the scientist.
The Phantom, nevertheless, blows up the Zeppelin, and they explode. Helium floats through the air.
'You idiot!' Says the scientist, in a very odd squeaky voice,' Now I'm going to talk like Mickey Mouse for a week!'
(Helium really does this when you breathe it in. It gives you a squeaky voice.)
**********
(Somewhere in a 'terra incognito' which they call Africa)
There is a huge mansion in the middle of nowhere, and there are a lot of black people (colonial times). A black undertaker's carriage comes into the scene. A British chap wearing a black suit gets out, and steps in a pile of bull.. dung.
He looks disgustedly at the poo-covered shoe and goes on with his way.
The dear British chap (why can't anyone remember his name?) walks into the house when he's eyes meet a shocking scene. The mansion is filled with robots that all look exactly like Allen Quartermain, and are retardly walking around the room, bumping into walls, tripping over each other and smiling idiotically. At the head of the room, there is the real Allen Quatermain, holding a huge remote control (including antennae) and fiddling with the joystick.
'Blashted thing!' He mumbles,' How am I shupposed to control all these things?'
One of the robots turns to the newcomer.
'Alert! Intruder!' They all say mechanically.
'Bring him here!' Growls Allen.
'Setting off emergency defence self-exploding system! Three, two, one..' The robots say.
Suddenly they all explode, blow the mansion up, and send the two humans flying into the air.
The British chap lands roughly in a thorn bush, while Quartermain lands next to him in the pile of bull dung the British man stepped in recently.
'I could never program them to shtop shending the emergency shystem,' says Quartermain sadly.
'Mr. Quartermain, the British Empie needs you!' the man pants, jumping out of the thorn bush.
'They don't need me any more. God shave the Queen!' Cheers the hunter.
Some evil guys in suits come up to one of the robots, which was still alive.
'Are you Allen Quartermain?' asks one evil guy.
'Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way....' Responds the broken robot.
'Aw, shut up!' The evil guy rolls his eyes and pulls the trigger.
Big mistake. The robot blows up, and kills the evil guys.
'Cool! I didn't know it could do thsat!' Cries Allen,' I'm joining in!'
*********
(Somewhere in England...)
Allen and the chap are walking down the stairs for two hours, and there are clocks on almost every wall (the British really like watches, just like little Swiss!).
They finally arrive in a big room. It is partially dark.
'Muahaha! Guess who I am?' says a voice.
Quartermain looks around the paintings and doesn't even notice the guy.
'Hey! I'm talking to you!' Says the voice.
Quartermain still looks at a painting and wonders if he could eat it.
'Alright, fine!' Yells the irritated man. He turns on the lights and you can see that he would have been more handsome if only he never wore that stupid ginger moustache,' My name's M, and you are in the headquarters of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.'
Quartermain looks at the documents and then says,' You're from Moulin Rouge! What are you doing here?'
'Erm...none of you business!' he twitches in anger.
Captian Nemo steps into the scene.
'What ish wrong with thish bush you call a beard?' Asks Quartermain incredulously.
'English hyenas!' Sniffs Nemo.
The doors burst open and in walks a particularly stone faced woman, with an expression that she ran into a brick wall.
'I am Harker. Mina Harker.' She says seriously.
She sits down and there is a farting noise. She looks around, shooting daggers into..space.
'Ha, ha! Nobody sees me! I can kick your ass and you will still first kill your teddy bear for doing this than me!' Says a cockney voice in thin air.
Quartermain screams and like a monkey starts wrecking the place up. When every portrait in the room has been destroyed, a coat floats in thin air, and the person takes out some disgusting white cream and put it on his face.
'Some sharp eye,' mutters the person,' My name's Rodney Skinner, Gentleman thief.'
'Aha! The avenger of Shiva, Kali and Vishnu!' Yells Nemo,' Out, out, you hyena!'
'He's here to help you get the Phantom.' Says M.
'Fartom?' Asks Skinner.
'Whatever, just get on with your trip and have a good time. I have something to do..' Says M mysteriously.
The four members go out, leaving the boss alone.
'Hahaha! They don't know what "M" means. M for magnificent, M for mysterious, M for magic! WEEEE!!!' Yells happily M and rushes out of the room to play tea party with his teddy bears.
Author's Note: End of first chapter! What do you think? I can't remember the movie exactly, and may add something more. Please review!
Author's Note: Serby's back, with a parody. Recently, I have seen the LXG movie, and was fascinated by it. I was implied that I must make a parody out of this one. None of the characters are mine. The idea of the League itself, I found out belong to America's Best Comics and Alan Moore, the characters themselves could be trace back to R.L. Stevenson, H.G. Wells, Bram Stoker and so on into the writers I don't even know. This has been done with some co-opertaion with my friend Kitty (who's not a member of Fanfiction.net). I don't want to make fun of Sean Connery because of his accent in the movie, but I must include it. Thank you for listening (damn, I sound boring!).
///////////////////
Dudn, dun Duuunnn!!!! The 20th Century Fox productions glow proudly in the night. Suddenly, electricity runs out and there now stand a torn, worn down sign making you wondering what the heck it is doing in 1889, in the middle of London ghettos.
Some bobbies are running down the street so fast, one of them slips and falls face down in the muddy puddle beneath them. What caused them to be shaken so? (Before this there was an introduction that I never bother to remember, and the simplest title you could ever imagine on TV screens, writing 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen')
A bloody WWII tank is rolling lazily down the cobbled path, not caring what on earth it comes up on. The policemen stare dumbly like calves at something very peculiar (like a TV screen), and wonder what on earth is this.
One bobby idiotically runs in the middle of the street, waving the beating up handle.
'Stop in the name of the law!' he yells.
Heh, tough luck. The tank just rolls over him, and underneath the 'tyres' can be heard the hissing of a deflated rubber policeman (did you really think they would let a real policeman get run over in a movie?).
The tank runs through the Bank of London's pillars, creating a whole lot of noise. It's a wonder how a huge tank like this, ramming into Bank of London, creating so much noise in the middle of the street, didn't draw any curiosity, or even wake up the residents who lived nearby!
The tank rips through the bookshelves, runs through walls, more pillars, safes, and finally stop in front of the thing they were looking for. The door of the tank opens, weird green smoke rises, and out comes..Barney and Pikachu!
Pikachu electrifies the policeman, while Barney had something worse.
'I love you, you love me, we are one happy family..' Screams the singing fat purple lizard.
'AAAAHHHH!!!' Scream the bobbies, running away from the horror that stalks the future generations of children.
When there was a clear scene, some unimportant person steps out, calling himself 'The Phantom' and dresses up as some Star Wars freak fan.
'Hahaha! I speak German!' Laughs the Phantom, and starts speaking in Zulu (it's still similar to German, or so he thinks).
'I love you Barney!' he says in 'German' . Translation in the movie: ' Get the treasure!'
*********
(Somewhere in Germany...)
'Hmmm..very good, very good!' Says the Phantom.
'Let us go!' Yells the scientist in proper German.
'No...but I think I will have fun first! Let me see what happens when I blow out these gray balloons! ' Squealed the Phantom.
'You fool! They are filled with helium!' Screams the scientist.
The Phantom, nevertheless, blows up the Zeppelin, and they explode. Helium floats through the air.
'You idiot!' Says the scientist, in a very odd squeaky voice,' Now I'm going to talk like Mickey Mouse for a week!'
(Helium really does this when you breathe it in. It gives you a squeaky voice.)
**********
(Somewhere in a 'terra incognito' which they call Africa)
There is a huge mansion in the middle of nowhere, and there are a lot of black people (colonial times). A black undertaker's carriage comes into the scene. A British chap wearing a black suit gets out, and steps in a pile of bull.. dung.
He looks disgustedly at the poo-covered shoe and goes on with his way.
The dear British chap (why can't anyone remember his name?) walks into the house when he's eyes meet a shocking scene. The mansion is filled with robots that all look exactly like Allen Quartermain, and are retardly walking around the room, bumping into walls, tripping over each other and smiling idiotically. At the head of the room, there is the real Allen Quatermain, holding a huge remote control (including antennae) and fiddling with the joystick.
'Blashted thing!' He mumbles,' How am I shupposed to control all these things?'
One of the robots turns to the newcomer.
'Alert! Intruder!' They all say mechanically.
'Bring him here!' Growls Allen.
'Setting off emergency defence self-exploding system! Three, two, one..' The robots say.
Suddenly they all explode, blow the mansion up, and send the two humans flying into the air.
The British chap lands roughly in a thorn bush, while Quartermain lands next to him in the pile of bull dung the British man stepped in recently.
'I could never program them to shtop shending the emergency shystem,' says Quartermain sadly.
'Mr. Quartermain, the British Empie needs you!' the man pants, jumping out of the thorn bush.
'They don't need me any more. God shave the Queen!' Cheers the hunter.
Some evil guys in suits come up to one of the robots, which was still alive.
'Are you Allen Quartermain?' asks one evil guy.
'Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way....' Responds the broken robot.
'Aw, shut up!' The evil guy rolls his eyes and pulls the trigger.
Big mistake. The robot blows up, and kills the evil guys.
'Cool! I didn't know it could do thsat!' Cries Allen,' I'm joining in!'
*********
(Somewhere in England...)
Allen and the chap are walking down the stairs for two hours, and there are clocks on almost every wall (the British really like watches, just like little Swiss!).
They finally arrive in a big room. It is partially dark.
'Muahaha! Guess who I am?' says a voice.
Quartermain looks around the paintings and doesn't even notice the guy.
'Hey! I'm talking to you!' Says the voice.
Quartermain still looks at a painting and wonders if he could eat it.
'Alright, fine!' Yells the irritated man. He turns on the lights and you can see that he would have been more handsome if only he never wore that stupid ginger moustache,' My name's M, and you are in the headquarters of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.'
Quartermain looks at the documents and then says,' You're from Moulin Rouge! What are you doing here?'
'Erm...none of you business!' he twitches in anger.
Captian Nemo steps into the scene.
'What ish wrong with thish bush you call a beard?' Asks Quartermain incredulously.
'English hyenas!' Sniffs Nemo.
The doors burst open and in walks a particularly stone faced woman, with an expression that she ran into a brick wall.
'I am Harker. Mina Harker.' She says seriously.
She sits down and there is a farting noise. She looks around, shooting daggers into..space.
'Ha, ha! Nobody sees me! I can kick your ass and you will still first kill your teddy bear for doing this than me!' Says a cockney voice in thin air.
Quartermain screams and like a monkey starts wrecking the place up. When every portrait in the room has been destroyed, a coat floats in thin air, and the person takes out some disgusting white cream and put it on his face.
'Some sharp eye,' mutters the person,' My name's Rodney Skinner, Gentleman thief.'
'Aha! The avenger of Shiva, Kali and Vishnu!' Yells Nemo,' Out, out, you hyena!'
'He's here to help you get the Phantom.' Says M.
'Fartom?' Asks Skinner.
'Whatever, just get on with your trip and have a good time. I have something to do..' Says M mysteriously.
The four members go out, leaving the boss alone.
'Hahaha! They don't know what "M" means. M for magnificent, M for mysterious, M for magic! WEEEE!!!' Yells happily M and rushes out of the room to play tea party with his teddy bears.
Author's Note: End of first chapter! What do you think? I can't remember the movie exactly, and may add something more. Please review!
