Sometimes... it becomes too much. Family should mean a safe haven... a place to hide and nurse the wounds that Life deigns to give you. But, what is there to do when the warmth of a family is refused to you just because of who you are? What is there to do when your nature brings nothing but grief, pain, sorrow and tears? When you are given a chance to another life... would you take it? Shed all that made you what you were... just for a chance to love. Would you do it?
-----------------------------------
It always started the same... He would come, asking for what was „rightfully his", then he would refuse, as always, to give up on the sole thing that he could call his own, bringing forth the wrath of his half-brother. The fight would be fast, with vicious kicks meant to kill, words of hate and despise would be spoken, disdain dripping from every syllable... it had all become a routine. Even shard-hunting had become a repetitive action: find shard-bearing demons, fight them, take their shards and move on.
Tonight was no different than all the other nights… a fire had been made, dinner cooked, girls had bathed while that perverted houshi was fidgeting under the amber gaze, itching to go and steal a glance at the bathing maidens he knew were just a few minutes distance from their camping site.
------------------------------------
Watching the near-full moon with glazed amber eyes, an inu hanyou rested on the highest branch of a tree, back pressed tightly against the bark, as if trying to sink in it. Fifty years had passed with him pinned to another tree… the Sacred Tree, and now, he sometimes found himself wishing for that time, wishing for the sweet oblivion of the coma-like sleep he had been trapped in. But as always… what he desired most, he would never receive. It was the way of Fate… punishing him for being what he was… an impure being, a half-breed, born from a damned love between a human woman and a taiyoukai.
Life had become a burden, almost as heavy as his father's shadow, forever cast upon him, drowning him in the hatred it spurred in the others' heart. Inu nu Taisho had been a great general… and with Greatness comes Fear. With Fear comes Hate. But what is there to do when to object of your hate is missing? You find another, of course. And who would be better to hate than the hellish spawn of a demon? Yes, humans hated him for his father… as demons hated him because of his mother… the human, oh, so fragile woman, dead before her time… He was filth, he was a half-breed, wanted by none, shunned by all… used by those around him.
Yes, he had a pack… he protected them, cherished them… but he could not bare his heart to them. Kagome, the future miko… the light of his sky, Sango, the demon slayer… his comrade in battle, along with Miroku, the perverted houshi and Shippo, the young kit, the closest he ever had as a family… He cared for them so much, that his heart bled. He wished he could open his heart to them… tell them how much he cared, beg them to never leave him behind. Someday, he knew he would become useless, when their journey would be complete… his goal would be complete. Kikyo's soul would go back into the Netherworld, her death would be avenged. Kagome will be able to go on with her own life… leaving him behind. She wouldn't need him to stain her bright future, nor would the others need filth near the love he knew the hunter and slayer shared.
Inuyasha could tell them none of that… so with a silent sigh, his gaze returned to his friends, camped beneath his tree, resuming his duty as guard. Because in the end, he was a dog… and dogs guard their masters, their pack, until they are not needed anymore. And when that day will come, he will go within the Shadows, where he belonged, where no one's gaze would be sullied by his presence… the presence of a stray dog.
