A/N: Just a short oneshot i wrote at 4am this morning. hope you enjoy :)


There are times when I wonder what I'll do with my life. When the days end, the sun leaves the sky behind and entrusts it to the care of the moon, others sleep. Drift into unconsciousness, happily ensconced in dreams and pleasant thoughts which roll around like children in the snow of the South Pole.

I don't sleep. I think.

There is too much to think about, too much to consider, too much to occupy my mind. Emotions tumble around each other, and thoughts become twisted in the furious ball of activity which currently makes up my mind.

Usually, the thought of her calms me. Sooths me. But tonight, she only adds to the chaos. Fear, worry, doubt, despair, pain.

Love.

It's late. I want to sleep, so desperately. She will be waking me up soon, assuming me to be fresh and prepared for the day's training. I haven't been fresh and prepared for months now. My Sky Bison's tail doesn't give me the comfort I need anymore. He has been there, he was in the iceberg with me for all those years. Does he feel the sadness, the emptiness, that follows me around? The last airbender, the end of a race, the sunset on an entire culture. My reign as Avatar will be one of the defining moments in their recent history.

Is this to be my fate? For the rest of my life, to train? To endlessly keep peace? But the question is, how do I keep peace, when I have no peace myself? I found a way around killing the Fire Lord, the Phoenix King, whichever ridiculous title he conferred on himself towards the end. But I want more from my life than this.

I look at my reflection in the water I stare into and I hate it. All the shame, all the grief, it comes flooding back. I can feel my chakras blocking themselves up again. And I don't care. I abandoned my people, and now my confidence is abandoning me. I haven't bended in four days. Do I deserve to? I have been blessed with a curse, destined to end a hundred year long war. The Fire Lord may now be dethroned, his crown passed to his son, but it will be many years before this world returns to its previous tranquillity.

This destiny will keep me alone, I am sure of it. Roku had a wife, a family. I want this. I have experienced love a thousand times, but never like this. She can never be mine, my fleeing confidence tells me, doubt creeping in to take its stead. She likes another. Maybe it is me. I cast back my mind, racking my memories for times I might have annoyed her. Many little things spring to mind, fruits of worry growing in my fragile state. And of course, being the Avatar. So much to do, a lifetime spent travelling the world alone, restoring balance to a world torn apart. She will not want to be part of this, how could anyone want to be a part of this?

I wish it could all be different. That I could be a different person; maybe then she would notice me. Maybe then I would have the courage to tell her. I beat the ground with my fists, finally noticing the ripples in the water I have been gazing into for hours now. Tears. I hate this. It is weak, it is pathetic. It is me.

I feel a finger on my cheek. Capturing a single tear, the finger traces it around my face. I want to open my eyes, but I fear that the dream will end. That daybreak will come, and the snatched hours of sleep I have somehow managed to take will somehow be enough to sustain me.

The hand turns my face. Now, I open my eyes. It is still dark. But the eyes in front of me are a fierce, bright blue. They are beautiful. She is beautiful. Her face a fingers breadth from my tear stained one.

I whisper her name, and she smiles. That beautiful smile. Those beautiful lips.

Just when I feel like screaming in despair and hopelessness at my own self-doubt, she makes all my troubles melt away.

She kisses my lips so tenderly, so perfectly I know I could not possibly imagine a dream like this. She has erased my mind of sadness, left behind a clean slate for her to build her own happiness on. I hold her so tight, conveying my only thought.

I love you, Katara.