Disclaimer: We don't own Inu-yasha, Yugioh, or A Christmas Carol (in any way shape or form). This is a parody of all A Christmas Carol parodies or versions, mixed with our own Chaotic brand of humor. Now sit back and enjoy…

A Chaos Christmas Carol

Chapter One: The Stingiest Kaiba in Town

The snow fell heavily on good old London town. People passed by on the frosty streets, hurrying home to their warm fires. Suddenly, two children ran out into the street, throwing snow balls at each other. One of the turned around and looked at the Audience.

"Oh, hi," he said, "I'm Shippo, remember me?"

"And I'm Charles Dickens," said the other boy with black hair as he bowed, taking off his top hat.

"Uh… no you're not," Shippo said, "You're Sota Higurash-MMMM!" 'Charles' covered Shippo's mouth and smiled wide.

"Ignore the sidekick," Charles said.

"Sidekick?" Shippo objected, getting loose from the Narrator's grasp. "Aww, I get that every time! These Shippo Shorties are supposed to be about me, you know?"

"Yeah, but this isn't your average Shippo Shorty," Charles said. "Today we're telling the the classic tale, A Christmas Carol- written by me, Charles Dickens."

"Yeah, whatever, Sota," Shippo pouted, crossing his arms.

"Now, as we were saying… Yami was dead to begin with," Charles said ominously.

"HUH?" Shippo exclaimed, "This is a kid's story! You can't start out like that! It's too scary!"

"But that's how it's starts," Charles said, "Yami was dead to begin with. As dead as a doornail."

"Ok, but if this gets any scarier, I'm closing my eyes and covering my ears," Shippo said, squeezing his eyes shut. Suddenly, They heard the screeching of a horse drawn carriage coming up the street.

"Yami left only one person to inherit his money," Charles said. "His business partner, a man known as much for his cruelty as much as his business prowls. A man with a cold heart of stone." The carriage stopped at the offices the boys were standing next to. The door opened, and out stepped a man who's height and stare seemed to permeate with malice.

"There he is, Mr. Ebenezer Kaiba," Charles said.

"UHHH!" Shippo cried, "I'm closing my eyes now!"

"SHH!" Charles hushed him. "Don't interrupt."

"Who told you kids you could play near my office?" Demanded Kaiba. The boys screamed, and ran for cover, ducking in a nearby alley way. Kaiba looked around at the people who were staring, and paid them no mind. "Humbug," he said. And slammed the door shut.

When the coast was clear, Shippo and Charles stuck their heads out from around the corner.

"Okay, I don't like this story," Shippo said, shaking all over, "Let's go read the one about the chocolate factory instead."

"No, we're reading this," Charles said, pulling the fox cub out from their hiding place and racing to a window in the side of the office. They could see inside the gloomy, paper strewn work place. And sitting hunched on a chair, scribbling in book keeping, was a young man with spiky hair, and very gentle eyes.

"Who's that?" Shippo asked.

"That's Kaiba's one and only employee: Yugi Cratchet." Charles said.

"But why does he look so cold?" Shippo asked as Yugi sneezed and rubbed his hands together.

"Because Kaiba's such a covetous old sinner that he won't even spring for a bucket of coal to light the heater," Charles said.

"He must keep it cold in so his heart won't melt," Shippo said.

" Quiet, they're talking." Charles whispered as they peeked in.

Transition

"Yugi, haven't you finished the book keeping yet?" Kaiba demaned as he went to sit at his large desk.

"N-no, sir," Yugi said, rubbing his hands. "I couldn't quite finish yet…"

"And why is that?" Kaiba asked, tapping his gloved fingers on the cherry wood desk.

"Well… aside from my hand getting frostbite," Yugi said, holding up his blue tinted hands, "The ink's frozen."

"Warm it up," Kaiba said matter-of-factly.

"With what?" Yugi asked. "You won't let me use any coal!"

"You've got a candle don't you?" Kaiba snapped.

"But sir, that'll take hours," Yugi complained.

"Then get started," Kaiba said, "We close for the night at eight."

"The night?" Yugi asked as he held the bottle over the little flame.

"Yes, the night, like always," Kaiba said. "I want you here bright and early tomorrow morning."

"But tomorrow's Christmas!" Yugi said, shocked. "It's customary for people to have the day off on Christmas."

"So what?" Kaiba said, getting out three small bags of coins, "It may be customary for others, but I, for one, do not celebrate that waste of calendar space known as Christmas."

"But… why can't I have the day off, sir?" Yugi asked him. "Other business's will be closed. You'll have no one to do business with."

"That's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December," Kaiba siad, glowering at Yugi. "And yet… If I were to dock you a half day's wages, you'd think yourself ill used and complain to the labor union…" Kaiba pondered this conundrum. "Very well then, you have the day off. But I want you here all the earlier the next morning."

Yugi was so happy the couldn't help but smile, "Thank, Mr. Kaiba! You won't regret it."

"I doubt that." Kaiba stated as he poured out the coins and started to count.

However, at that moment, there came a ring on the bell, and the door burst open as a young boy with wild black hair came in and shout in jubilation, "Merry Christmas, Big Brother! God save you!"

"Humbug," Kaiba replied, not looking up.

Transition

"Who's that?" Shippo asked, as if he didn't know.

"Mokuba, Kaiba's brother," Charles said, "and his only living relative."

"How can you make everything sound scary?" Shippo asked, shivering.

"Cause the Nineteenth Century was a frightening time for a lot of people," Charles said. "Oh, their talking again."

Transition

"Christmas a humbug, Ebenezer?" Mokuba asked. "Surely you don't mean that."

Transition

As the boy in the office said that, a flee popped out of Shippo's tail.

"Can't ahumbug get any sleep nowadays?" it said, jumping onto his shoulder. "It's like this every year."

"Who are you?" Charles asked him.

"Why, I'm Myoga the Humbug," Myoga said looking up at the little narrator. "Who are you?"

"I'm Charles Dickens!" the yelled. "I wrote this story- and you're not in it!"

"Oh really?" Myoga asked, crossing tow of his four arms, "Then what's Kaiba been saying do much?"

"Humbug, but-"

"Well there you go, I'm in it," Myoga said.

"He's got ya there," Shippo said.

"Who's side are you on?" Charles asked. But hearing commotion inside, they returned to watching the window.

Transition

"But I just want you to come over for my Christmas party," Mokuba said. "All our friends-"

"I don't have friends," Kaiba reminded him.

"Well, all my friends will be there," Mokuba said, "And there'll be lots of food and games and gifts."

"A waste of money," Kaiba said, "And time. I can think of several things you could spending money on- like for instance your rent? Which is due next month. I've been going over your books for you, Mokuba. You're in the clear for December, but what about January? Or February for that matter? There's a new year coming. Do you really want to spend in in debt?"

"I'd rather be happy than have all the money in the world." Mokuba said.

"How can anyone be happy without money?" Kaiba demanded to know.

"Easily," Mokuba said. "Me and Rebecca are proof."

"You and that girl?" Kiaba asked. "Why ever did you get engaged?"

"Because I fell in love," Mokuba said.

"Love?" Kaiba asked, disgusted. "Humbug."

Transition

"See, there he goes again," Myoga said, proud of himself.

"Fine, you're in the story," Charles groaned, shaking his head.

"You know, you're awfully young to be a writer," Myoga said. "Maybe you're looking for that Oliver Twist -?"

"SHUT UP!" Charles yelled. That's when the door to Kaiba's office opened, and Mokuba left, waving to Yugi and bidding him Merry Christmas.

"What's going on now?" Shippo asked him, as suddenly the clock, Big Ben, sounded in the twilight, telling the world it was eight o'clock.

"He's getting ready to leave," Charles said, "Come on," he took Shippo's hand and dragged him down the street to where Kaiba's carriage was waiting.

"What are we doing now?" Shippo asked.

"I feel something very bad coming," Myoga said cowardly. "Perhaps I should go back to the offices?"

"Hey, you wanted to be in this story, so you're staying in it," Charles said. They climbed up on a small shelf in the luggage rack, and covered themselves over with a rough blanket. Outside, they hear the crunch of snow under Kaiba's feet as he walked to his carriage.

"His work done for the day, Kaiba returned to his cold, empty town house," Chalres said. "Where he planned on spending the evening as he always has, alone by a warm fire, with a bowl of gruel in one hand, and a mug of ale in the other."

"Speaking of food, can weget something to eat?" Shippo asked.

Myoga pulled out a bag of peanuts, "Indeed, sneaking around is very hungry work."

"Quiet!" Charles yelled at him, "We just stopped." Then the blanket was yanked off of them, and they all froze… but nothing happened. Apparently the Kaiba had not noticed them.

The skinflint walked somberly up the small steps to his front door.

"Watch the knocker," Charles whispered to Shippo and Myoga.

"Why?" Shippo whispered back.

"Shh," Charles said. Then he looked out at the audience, "Now, I must remind you all: Yami is dead! This one thing you must remember, or else nothing that follows will seem wondrous."

Kaiba searched through his pockets for his keys. When he found them, he went to put the brass key into it's fitted hole. But as he looked up to the brass knocker- who's form was usually that of a lion's head in mid roar- it suddenly began to morph into something else… The mane became spiked hair, the elongated teeth shrank. From animal, came an almost human appearance.

Kaiba looked at the thing in shock, all color gone from his face. "J… Jacob Yami…?" he muttered, eyes wide with looming fear. He stuck out a shaking hand to the touch the apparition. Then Suddenly, a violent wind picked up, and threw him back! On top of the carriage, Shippo and Myoga cowered hiding behind Charles- who was a little shook up himself. All this, while the ghastly thing moaned…

"KAIBA!"