A/N: This story takes place S09E14, "The Hand the Rocks the Wheelchair." As such, Kevin is canonically presumed dead.
(Obligatory) Family Guy, etc. owned by Seth MacFarlane.
Lois sighed slowly through her teeth, trying to set her face in a smile before knocking on the door. She really wished she hadn't agreed to do this for Bonnie. To be honest, she didn't understand why it was necessary. Joe was a grown man, after all, and even with his handicap he seemed more than capable. She realized that his routine was probably made a bit more difficult with Susie to take care of, but did that really require her babysitting her neighbor like he was some kind of child? Still, better to be neighborly than have Bonnie think her a bitch.
She reached out a hand, knocking on the heavy wooden door three times. What was she going to say to Joe? She had never spent much time with the man one-on-one. She didn't really have anything in common with him. Did Bonnie even tell Joe that Lois was going to come over? Or did she have to explain that the man's own wife thought him incapable of taking care of himself for a few days?
Her thoughts were interrupted when the knob turned and the door swung open.
"Oh, hey there, Lois." Joe said, smiling easily. Lois returned the smile and raised a hand awkwardly.
"Hey, Joe. Bonnie asked-"
"I know." Joe said, wheeling backwards, "Do you want to come in?"
"Oh, sure." She smiled again and stepped over the threshold.
Lois glanced around the Swanson house. She had been here a few times before, but never for very long. Usually just to borrow something from them or retrieve Bonnie for a girl's day out. The house seemed rather barren, but this was due to almost all of their furniture being pressed up against walls and arranged to leave wide swaths open, all because of Joe's chair. Joe wheeled past her and into the kitchen.
"Do you want something to drink?" He asked, "Coffee, soda, water, beer?"
"Oh, yeah. A, a beer would be nice." Lois said, allowing her eye to wander more freely once Joe was out of sight. She heard him open the refrigerator and the distinctive clink of two glass bottles before Joe reappeared and handed one to her.
"Is Susie down?" She asked casually, gripping at the lid of the beer.
"Yeah," Joe said, snapping his easily and taking a swig. He took Lois' beer back from her kindly and snapped the top open, accidentally dripping some of the foam on his fingers.
"There ya go, Lois." He smiled. She smiled back, her cheeks lifting awkwardly.
They sat in silence for a moment, taking sips of their beer and looking around, before Lois cleared her throat.
"So, how has it been without Bonnie in the house?"
"Gotta say, Lois. It's been… strange." Joe admitted, bringing his hand to rub the back of his neck, "I guess I'm just not used to being in the house by myself. I mean, Bonnie is almost always home when I am. She's the one who has run of things while I'm at work all day, you know?"
"Well, you have Susie?" Lois offered, tipping her bottle in a gesture to the back hallway.
"Can I admit something to you?" Joe asked, leaning forward a bit in his chair, "I guess I had forgotten what it was like to be a parent. I mean, you never forget your children, but… I can remember so clearly the day we were told Kevin-"
"Joe," Lois said, lowering her voice, "You… you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I know it must be painful for you."
"It hasn't been easy. Some days are harder than others. Holidays have never quite recovered." Joe admitted, "But… I'm okay talking about it." He raised his head to look her in the eye, his mouth quirking up into a half-smile.
"Do you wanna watch TV with me?" He asked. Lois considered it for a moment, then found herself nodding.
"Sure, Joe." She smiled. Joe wheeled around her, setting his wheelchair in a set of well-worn grooves in the carpet, before beginning to haul himself out of his chair.
"Do you, do you want any, erm, help?" Lois asked awkwardly. Joe just laughed her off.
"No, don't worry about it, Lois." He transferred himself easily from chair to couch, sinking into the cushions and straightening out his legs, "I just prefer sitting on the couch. It just makes me feel more… normal."
"Oh, all right." She said, taking her place on the opposite end of the couch. Joe clicked on the television, flipping through the channels a couple of times, before turning to her.
"What do you like to watch?"
"Oh. Uh… I actually don't watch all that much TV." She said, nursing her beer.
"Really?" Joe asked.
"Well, I mean, by myself." She said, "As a family, we do. It's really the only thing that can get us all together and not fighting with each other. Even then, Peter is usually in charge of the remote, I just kind of go along with whatever he wants." She laughed.
"He is kind of persuasive like that." Joe laughed too, taking another swig from his bottle.
Before either could say anything else, there was a piercing cry from the back bedroom. Joe let out a groan before setting his hands to push himself from the couch.
"Don't worry about it, Joe." Lois said, setting down her bottle and raising quickly, "I can get her."
"Are you sure, Lois?" Joe asked, but she was already halfway down the hall.
Lois pushed open the nursery door. In the corner, Susie had kicked off her blanket and was writhing on the crib pad, face red with frustration. Lois chuckled to herself and picked up the little girl, cradling Susie in her arms. Susie's toothless mouth was open as wide as it could go, her eyes scrunched tight and her little fists flailing as fast as they could. Lois gently bounced the girl in her grip, rocking her torso back and forth, and watched as the baby's face slowly calmed. After a while, Susie had cooled down to a weak mewling sound, at which Lois took up Susie's blanket and wrapped up the infant tightly. Swaddled and comforted, Lois laid Susie down and watched as she yawned, then drifted back into sleep.
Going back to the living room, she saw Joe was still on the couch. Truthfully, out of his wheelchair he seemed… different? He was staring at the TV, his heavy eyes fixed intently on the screen. His large hands held the beer bottle, bringing it to his lips every so often for a small sip. He was well built and had the kind of body that T-shirts seemed to be made for. They clutched at his large biceps, draping well off of the curve of his pecs, and coming to rest casually against his well-defined abs. She imagined that before he became handicapped he had the same kind of muscle tone all over his body. Hell, Joe Swanson must have been an Adonis.
She shook the thought from her head. Where the hell had that come from? She had known Joe for years and she had never, ever thought of him like that. Then again, she had never spent enough time with him to notice the strong curve of his jaw, the way his blue eyes were hooded and spoke just enough of late nights and burning candles…
Snap out of it, Lois. She hissed in her mind. She was disgusted in herself. Even if this wasn't Joe, one of her husband's best friends, she was still a married woman. She shouldn't be thinking that way about any man.
She reclaimed her spot on the couch, swiping up her abandoned beer and taking a larger gulp than she intended.
"Thanks, Lois." Joe said.
"No problem, Joe." She waved her hand, "You know, as crazy as it sounds, it almost makes me miss when Stewie was little like that."
"I don't know how you do it, Lois." Joe shook his head, "I mean, Meg and Chris aren't that far apart in age, right? How did you handle having two small children at the same time?"
"Well, if we're speaking frankly it's not like we planned to." She laughed uncomfortably, to which Joe raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"I thought you and Peter were married before you had kids."
"Oh, we were." Lois said, "It's just that, well, you know when you're young and you seem to have your whole life ahead of you- I mean, Peter and I were so in love, but we always thought there would be plenty of time. We talked about somedays and eventuallys, until one day became our someday. That little strip turned and we were suddenly in for it." She sighed, looking into her beer, "Chris was accidental." She laughed, "It's funny to think of now, but I remember how freaked out we were when the condom broke." She looked up at Joe, "It wasn't easy. Having two small children at once. Not easy at all. But it was worth it."
Joe smiled softly at her, "I've found myself wondering… what things would have been like if Kevin were still around." He finished his bottle, then gestured toward the nursery, "I'm afraid that I'm gonna fuck up Susie."
"No, Joe. No. Why would you think that?"
"I've always wondered if my over-machismo attitude was what drove Kevin to the military. Oh, Lois. You should have seen me. I was so damn proud of that boy the day he told me. Bonnie was scared, but I wrote it off. I should have listened to her."
"Joe, you can't blame yourself for Kevin." She said, shifting herself closer to him on the couch and putting an arm around his shoulders.
"I know that, but I still do. And when Bonnie got pregnant again… the only thing I could think of was 'what if this one dies?'"
"Joe-"
"I know, that's horrible-"
"No, Joe." Lois said, reaching to take Joe's hand, "That's perfectly normal. When you're responsible for the life of another person, I mean, my God. Your mind goes everywhere. I remember when Meg was born- you always hear about mothers talking about how beautiful their babies are or whatever, but the only thing I could think was 'that sticky alien came out of me?' and then I wondered what I should do if I accidentally stuck my thumb through her skull. I mean, really?" She chuckled to herself, "What a way to think, right?"
"I remember when Bonnie and I found out she was going to have a girl. You see so much in my line of work, the only thing I pictured was this beautiful teenage girl laid out eviscerated in a field, and me being the one to see my daughter that way, instead of being just a responding officer. I broke down, Lois. I couldn't work for two days."
"That's so normal, Joe." She said, removing her arm from his shoulders and taking both of his hands in hers, "You are a great father, and you're going to be a wonderful father to Susie."
She looked into his eyes, eyes that had begun to well with tears that he refused to let fall. He was so tough in front of his friends, but he had so much buried inside of him. He cared so deeply for his family, for anyone he was around.
Before she realized quite what was happening, Joe had leaned forward, eyes closed, and caught her in a kiss.
Lois felt a gasp in her throat, but didn't want to move away. His lips were soft, his breath warm on her upper lip. One hand loosened from her grasp and came up to rest on her cheek and she could feel her mouth part under his. Her heart thudded in her chest. She hadn't felt this way in years, not about a kiss, not about another man-
They broke apart softly, Joe leaning back into the couch. Lois regarded him for a second before chuckling lightly and reaching up her hand to wipe her lipstick from his mouth.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Lois." He said, his eyes searching the ground.
"Joe, don't worry about it."
"I mean, I don't want to- I'm not."
"Joe, I understand." She said, cocking her head slightly to the side. She smiled warmly at him, catching his gaze, "Sometimes our emotions just get the better of us."
"I just… Peter-"
"Peter is your best friend and my husband," Lois said, standing from the couch, "and he's expecting me to make dinner, so I had better be on my way." She glanced at the house, then back at Joe.
"Would you like me to bring the two of you leftovers tonight?"
"I...yes. I would, Lois. Thank you." Joe sighed, his mouth returning to his easy smile.
"I'll call Bonnie tonight to let her know everything is going well." Lois said, then opened the front door.
~One Week Later~
Bonnie heaved her suitcase out of the taxi, tossing it down onto the sidewalk. She leaned back, palms pressed against the small of her spine, and let out a stressed sigh.
"How was the trip, Bonnie?" Lois asked, stepping out of her house.
"Good." Bonnie said, "My dad's doing a lot better. How were things here while I was gone?"
"They were fantastic." Lois said, "You really do have a sweet family."
"Yeah, I do." Bonnie said, glancing at her house. "Even so, it is nice to get away once in a while."
"Yeah," Lois said, paralleling Bonnie's glance, "That's something I can understand."
