Author's Note: My first fic... I'm not a good writer by all means, I expect criticism when this fic gets reviews. I do know this isn't original, it's overused to the point reviewers send flames to anyone who writes this cliche ever. I want to make fun of this considering how ridiculous it is whenever I read one of them out of mere curiosity. So this just popped up on my head when I read a parody of it and the rest is history. I decided to take my own spin on this cliche even though I have like little to no writing motivation at all. Thank you for reading this Author's Note. I don't own anything.
Spoilers if you haven't read up to the Edolas Arc, I warned you.
Chapter 1: Worst Day Ever
It's been two weeks since Team Natsu returned from Edolas with Lisanna who wasn't really "dead", and it became an instant party when the Strauss siblings saw their imouto back in full health. Sadly, Natsu spent all of his time rekindling his relationship with Lisanna, to the point he became obsessed with her.
It was a normal day in the Fairy Tail guild. Chairs were flying around, shouts came from all over the place, and mostly brawls between guild members or as Lucy would call it, a party. A regular person would run out as soon as possible with their non magical bodies, but to Lucy, it's another usual day with the rambunctious Fairy Tail guild. Another day of Natsu ignoring her...
The blonde celestial wizard sighed in frustration to another day without Natsu, and she began wolfing down on her donut. She got it from a bakery shop on her way to the guild, it was an on the house deal by the shopkeeper who had a nosebleed. "When will he ever notice me?... It feels like an eternity that Natsu hasn't asked me out on a job lately... I might as well go on another job without Natsu AGAIN..." After the snack became non existent, the busty mage tried to lift her spirits by going on a solo job on her own. Gray's not an option since his stripping problem equals nudity meaning scarred mind, and Juvia will stalk Gray wherever he goes, so Lucy has to bear with her too. Erza is not the one to be messed with while eating strawberry cheesecake in the guild. Last time Elfman crushed her dessert, he was in the infirmary for 2 weeks, and Lucy didn't want the bad side of Erza to beat her in the name of cheesecake. Wendy and Carla are on a job. Gajeel is probably munching on metal along with Pantherlily at the bar, but Lucy wants the money all to herself. Obviously, Natsu's probably off with Lisanna doing seven minutes of heaven somewhere. As Lucy dragged herself near the job board, she began to hear comments of certain guild members. Guild members that shouldn't be even considered Fairy Tail mages, and they were the reason why Lucy hated to go inside the guild currently.
"Ahhhhhh... Who's that hot chick?"
"That weak girl from the strongest team of Fairy Tail? Wait, second strongest since we are considered the strongest here, and she's a dead weight."
"I bet my magic can beat her dumb spirit magic. Caster magic is way better than shitty holder magic anyways. Plus, she's a fatty."
"I could take her keys away, and she's won't survive a battle against my super duper special powerful magic of mine! Desu~"
Due to the Fairy Tail being the #1 guild in Fiore, new members have been joining rapidly. A certain member named Marie Soon Opi lead a group called themselves Origin Casters that surfaced in the Fairy Tail guild awhile ago. The young eighteen year old silver haired girl had the perfect body any man would imagine. She's been modeling for Sorcerer Weekly, beating Mirajane in popularity. Marie magically has a big bust and a plain pink top along with white skinny jeans that shows off her assets. She dominated the male population without any issue.
The Origin Casters acted like the Thunder God Tribe before Laxus was exiled from the guild. They make up the 3 As in Lucy's book since they're attractive, arrogant, and most of all, an annoyance to to the celestial wizard. Eventually, mostly everyone in the guild decided to join in on the "Bash Lucy Parade". Wendy, Happy, Carla, Pantherlily, Gajeel, Juvia, Levy, Mira, Evergreen, Bixlow, Freed, and Romeo were Lucy's only friends that didn't say "useless" or "weak" to her excessively.
"My awesome magic can woo that sexy spirit mage to be my girlfriend. Right Ed?" An extremely attractive silver haired male who also has black highlights named Garrison Stew Opi stared at Lucy with hearts in his eyes. The hunky older brother of Marie prefers to be called Gary as Gary calls his name was too "lame" for some reason. He has more abs than Natsu or Gray could have ever accomplished, and the pride that Elfman would call a "man". Gary's currently number one at Sorcerer Weekly's Most Wanted Boyfriend, beating Hibiki recently.
A boy with ebony hair and scars all over his lean pale body stared at the extremely attractive male with a deadpan expression. "Yeah... I guess so... I need a pocket knife... My name's Edward Moody Obliteration Bloody Obsessive Yamauchi, not this name called Ed. Plus, that mage is nothing against me, and I consider her inferior to me because she's too weak to understand. No one understands me..." Edward always wore black, even during the hot days of summer, and he never wore any color else. It was his favorite color, it wouldn't be surprising that his whole living space would be colored black. To Edward's dismay, he is also on the top ten list of Sorcerer Weekly's Most Wanted Boyfriend at number 8, and a fanclub full of fangirls.
"Come on Eddy-kun! Cheer up! I brought you a lollipop to turn that frown upside down! Doki~" A pink haired girl the same age as Wendy skipped up to the anti-social mage with a smile that brightens everyone. The pinkette wore an oversized red sweater with a cat face as the pocket, black tights, and beige boots to increase her cutesy image. Not to mention she has skin of a porcelain doll, and wide blue eyes that makes a person's heart melt of excessive cuteness, she's known as Keiko Hayashi. "Come on Eddy-kun... EAT IT BEFORE I KILL YOU AND TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB! Tee-hee~" She's insane.
Lucy ignored the harsh comments along with Gary's weird stare at her body, but those remarks pierced her already bleeding heart from the guild's neglect, Natsu, and especially Lisanna. It added a sack of salt to the unattended wound. The blonde looked at the job board to find a job that's worth something for her rent, and enough Jewels for food so the mage wouldn't want to go inside the Fairy Tail guild for another beat down of humiliation from Little Miss Perfect's special snowflake squad. However, Lucy's eyes bulged at a certain job.
Help! We need a bodyguard to protect the caravan from thieves! Meet us, the merchant group, at the town of Drachen.
Reward: 1,080,000 Jewel.
It was enough to cover over 1 year of rent, a year of no Origin Casters bothering her, a year of lacrima vision shows on demand. The busty mage ripped the job right off, and she made a beeline towards Mirajane.
Mirajane glanced at Lucy with a grin. "Hey Luc-"
Lucy slammed the job paper on the bar counter, surprising the former she-devil, it didn't help that Lucy had an extreme smile on her face. Some guild members were staring at the commotion at the bar, and Marie made a coo-coo noise while rotating the middle finger at Lucy.
"So Mirajane, I would like to take on this job..." Lucy's eyes glinted with excitement.
The barmaid looked at the blonde in surprise, and the fact it's a job of warding off thieves, Mirajane tried to reason her. "Shouldn't you have a partner or something? This is a job of fighting off thieves, and who knows what danger lies ahead. You could get captured into a slave trade! You almost got captured Lucy, back at Hargeon!"
"Mira, I'm strong enough to take on this job. I'm on Team Natsu! A beautiful girl like me would be able to take down bandits!"
"Says the person who got 2nd place in the Miss Fairy Tail contest, Bunny Girl."
"Gaj- Knock it off!"
Gajeel smirked at the blonde after he noticed her conversation with Mira when he was sitting by the bar, but his eyes widened at the job under Lucy's hand. The iron dragon slayer returned to his normal composure, a sly expression appeared on his face shortly after. "Bunny Girl... How about Pantherlily and I partner up with you on that 1,080,000 Jewel reward?"
The black cat glared at Lucy with a smirk. "We never teamed up, so this could be a new experience for me."
"That's a great idea!"
"That's a terrible idea! I need all of the Jewel for my rent!" Lucy argued against the barmaid, the blonde didn't want any splits to the huge dough of money she wanted.
"Hey! Lucy! We need to talk!" Natsu barged in the conversation, and Lisanna was clinging onto Natsu like some sort of parasite. Lisanna is really a disease after all, it affected Natsu in the worst possible way. His behavior.
"Just what do you want now?" Lucy questioned at the sudden return of Natsu and Lisanna's supposed secret make out session. The celestial spirit mage betted on it lasting 3 hours, but she has to pay up Happy Jewel after seeing Natsu and Lisanna back in the flesh.
Natsu's cheerful face contorted into a serious expression, but Lisanna was still smiling at the group who argued over Lucy's partner or no partner seconds ago. "Lucy, we're kicking you out since you're a weak and useless mage that always hides behind their spirits. If you can't even do a solo mission, then do something useful by quitting the guild entirely. You can't even fight without a whip or your keys. Blah blah blah. Blah blah. Blah. You're a disgrace to the Fairy Tail name." However, Natsu's voice sounded different. Instead, it was this monotone voice droning on like a recorded device. Lisanna continued to grin excessively, it became more and more sinister as time passed, but no one seemed to notice except Lucy.
Although Lucy saw Lisanna's smirk, Lucy's world shattered as she processed the words Natsu said, her crush saying the words she dread. This was unrealistically the worst day ever for the celestial spirit mage.
Author's Note: Yay... *falls over* After revising, I realized something. I need to create the Sorcerer Weekly's Top 10 Most Wanted Boyfriends list. I'll come up with it sooner or later... By the way, some parts in the chapter are easter eggs. Read some of the names of certain mages out loud, or look at the group name Origin Caster. Edward is a bit of a homage after reading a notorious fanfic when a friend told me to read it. Try figuring it out ;)
You know... In "Lucy Gets Kicked Out" fics, Natsu is just merely a plot device all throughout unless he's the love interest for Lucy to start some dumb cuddly smoochy fluff about being "Mates". Bleh. I'm not sure if I want to shoehorn in more stereotypical OCs I've seen... I got the Popular Beach/Mary Sue, the Gary Stu, the Brooding Loner/Poser, and the Kawaii Loli/Brat/Psycho. I'll add in a couple more in the future, but it's pretty much up in the air. I really appreciate the fact this gets reviews. :)
