"Aw, man. I'm totally lagged." groaned Bart.
Bart had just had a rowdy night out with his friends down Moe's, and Bart had a Duff too many.
Our story is set in the year 2010, where Bart is 20 years old. (I couldn't keep count of Bart, Lisa, Homer's or any other character's age in the story, so I'm making them up.)
"What's wrong with you?" asked a 18 year old Lisa, standing in the doorway.
"Hey, I'm not the one who barged through the door and started yelling. What's wrong with you?" replied Bart grouchily.
"And I'm not the one who had too many beers last night. How many was it, ten? Or was it eleven?" Lisa grinned slyly. Lisa and Bart had a major rivalry ever since that fateful day. Let's flashback.
-
This is when Lisa was getting ready for college. She had scored a scholarship to some bording school in St. Louis. More like boring school, thought Bart. This was the time Bart was softening on Lisa, they were getting more friendly. It was ten o'clock at night, the day before Lisa left, and Homer was with her, watching her drift off to sleep.
"I have a little leaving present for you from me and your mother." smiled Homer sweetly, brandishing a small, red parcel, tied up in silky yellow ribbon. Lisa slowly prized it from Homer's hand and unknotted the ribbon. She peeled the wrapper off slowly, and gasped at what had fallen out.
In Lisa's lap lay a brand new, silver PDA.
"Oh, Dad. I always wanted one." Lisa whispered as she hugged her father. She pulled away, and a tear was cradled in her eye. "Y'know, when you do stuff for me like this, it makes me not want to go to that school." Lisa's mother, Marge, stepped into the room.
"Of course you'll want to go. It's like when me and your father went to college. We didn't want to leave - our family, pets, friends, home, everything - behind. But we still went, and look what happened. Me and your father found each other, and we fell in love." Marge explained.
"Yeah, and it would have been even better if that nerd Arty Ziff stayed out of it." growled Homer. Lisa giggled.
On the other side of the wall, Bart was listening to everything. This parting was especially hard for him. Lisa was the first friend he ever had, even before Milhouse. All the memories... giving her his ice cream when she dropped hers... playing Hide n' Seek and Tag, always letting her win... being in the bath together (Bart almost laugh at this memory)... he just didn't want her to leave, or these memories could never happen again. He opened a draw and flicked through some old photos. One of Bart and Lisa at the beach, one of them in a paddling pool, one of them looking at reptiles in a zoo.
And a photo that could never be replaced: one of a two year old Bart holding a newbron Lisa in his stubby arms. Bart bit his lip hard, so hard he wouldn't have been surprised if he pearsed it. He didn't want her to go. He was so sad, he just had to say goodbye to her. He leapt out of bed, landing like a cat. He got up and crept across the landing and into Lisa's room.
He found her scrunched up in bed, sleeping like a baby, Snowball III on her lap (yes, the lucky cat Snowball V or Snowball II died...). Bart didn't want to wake her. He didn't want her to remember him to be a jerk who woke her up at half eleven at night. Then he saw the PDA on her bedside table. Bart grinned a evil grin.
He had just thought up his first plan in years.
And it was so bad it was almost scary.
