Chapter 1: Neon Moon
(A/N) Well this is my first CMs fic, and it has a strange origin. I was listening to Neon Moon when a cute little plot bunny hoped into my lap with some paper held in his mouth. I grabbed the paper and TA-DA chapter 1 was born. However that same bunny left and I had to go find him so I could finish this chapter, but have no fear for I have the bunny on a very short leash and I told the bunny that if he doesn't act his best then I will be forced to send him to my friend Battys' plot tigers. So without further ado, enjoy. ~Wolfie~
Dr. Spencer Reid was sitting at the back of one of Las Vegas' few unknown bars with a half empty bottle sitting on the table next to an already empty one. A full glass rested in his hand. As Spencer went to take a sip from the glass a new song began to play over the speakers. It was a song that he recognized instantly. It was her song. The song that no matter what was happening around her she would stop and sing along with it, and at the time it set the mood for exactly how he was feeling. It was Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn.
She loved country music. Especially this song, he thought sadly.
With that thought he took another sip and thought about what went wrong. He thought about how everything ended. He thought about her sacrifice, her very unnecessary sacrifice that took her from him. He thought about the explosion from the bomb that no one knew about, that they didn't find in time, and he thought about the man that set the bomb and caused her to die.
I wish we never got that case. I wish we could have found Grayson sooner. Would she still be here? Would I have gotten the chance to tell her that I loved her, that she was more than my best friend and so much more than a sister and a teammate? What would life be like if she were here? What could have changed in five years?
All of these questions and countless more ran through his mind as he sat and tried to drink away the pain and the bad memories, memories that thanks to an eidetic memory he would never be able to forget.
That's not true. There is one way to get rid of all the pain and bad memories. One quick, easy, and simple way to make sure that she won't be able to haunt you anymore. Death can offer peace and rest. Why suffer another year? A small part of Spencer agreed with the voice. Another small part thought that he should have ended it after the Georgia incident, however the biggest part of him reminded him of his friends and what they would do if he died. He knew Morgan and Garcia would find a way to bring him back to life just so they could yell at him and kill him again. J.J and Emily would be devastated. Rossi would probably help Morgan and Garcia, and Hotch was under enough stress already that something like that might push him over the edge. Plus, the crime scene investigators were never able to find her remains. They found Grayson but they never found her DNA anywhere in the building. As long as there was hope that she might be alive, Spencer wouldn't give up. Until someone handed him evidence that she was absolutely dead, then he would keep looking, hoping, wishing, and remembering.
The biggest reason he had for staying alive was his mother. Despite her condition she would notice if he disappeared and stopped sending her a letter every day. It was his mother who would suffer the most, and his dad. He had just started having contact with him after almost ten years and still had a lot to tell and ask him. Spencer knew he had too much to do to be thinking about killing himself.
He went to take another sip from his glass and realized that it was empty. As he reached out to grab the bottle another hand grabbed it and pulled it out of his reach. Spencer looked up to see who the arm belonged to and saw that it was Derek Morgan.
"Don't you think you've had enough kid?" asked Morgan as he looked at his friend with pity.
Spencer sighed and replied "Just getting started actually".
"Reid. Come on man. How long have you been here?" Morgan asked as he took the seat across from Spencer.
Spencer looked around the bar and couldn't find a clock so he shrugged and said "I don't know. I got here at nine. What time is it now?"
"You didn't bring your watch?" Morgan said as he looked down at his own watch "Its ten thirty".
"That makes it an hour and a half and the battery in my watch…" Spencer had to stop and swallow a lump in his throat before he could continue "Is dead".
"Reid it's been five years. I think it's time to let go and move on." Morgan said with obvious worry for his friend.
"Five years, four hours…" Spencer leaned over to look at Morgan's watch "Ten minutes and nine seconds." Spencer leaned back in his chair. "I can't let her go. I can't forget what happened."
"You don't have to and I'm not asking you to. All I'm asking is that instead of remembering the end, try remembering all the good times. Like when you two first met." suggested Morgan.
"Morgan, I don't know if you remember but that wasn't exactly the best first day with a new team member." Spencer replied incredulously.
"For you maybe, but I thought it was funny as hell." replied Morgan with a smirk.
"Well you also didn't get pushed into an alligator infested pond for being a 'smart mouth, stick in the mud, know-it-all'." Spencer replied with a small smile. Unfortunately that smile didn't last long.
"I still wish it didn't happen, or that she hadn't pushed me out. There are days that I wish I had died with her."
"We all wish that it hadn't happened, but Lauren pushed you out of that building because she loved you and wanted to make sure that you would live. She gave her life to protect you. Not so you could sit at the back of a bar drinking and wishing you were dead. What do think she would do or say if she could see this?" Morgan replied heatedly.
Spencer let out a sigh of defeat and replied "She would tell me get over it and take it like a man, and then she would hit me."
"That's not the only reason you're so torn up about this. Is it Reid? There's something else, something that you're not telling anyone. If it were just about Laurens' death you would have been over it by now. What else is bothering you?" Morgan asked.
"They never found her." Spencer replied as he slumped down in his seat with a small sigh.
Morgan let out a sigh of his own as he said "Reid, Lauren couldn't have been more than eight feet from the bomb when it exploded, and crime scene found Grayson's remains sixty feet from it and all that was left was a few bone fragments and ash. As close as she was to the bomb, there wouldn't be anything left to find."
"They would have found traces of her DNA and they didn't. Morgan you saw how many samples they took to analyze. Statistically speaking the chances of them not finding anything is about two percent. There is virtually no way that they could not find DNA if she had died there. What if she's still alive? What if she found a way to get out? For all we know she could be out there somewhere with no idea who she is." argued Spencer.
"You mean amnesia? Reid it's been five years. Wouldn't something have triggered her memories by now?" said Morgan as he tried to talk some sense into his friend.
"Not necessarily. Amnesia affects different people differently. Some people get their memories back within hours and for some it may take years. Sometimes a person that has amnesia never gets their memories back. An amnesic could be put back with their family and have someone tell them everything that happened to them from the day they were born and still not remember anything and then they could see their first grade teacher that they haven't seen in twenty-six years a week later and they remember everything. I'm not trying to get my hopes up or convince myself that Lauren's still alive but if there's the slightest chance that she might be out there somewhere then I have to try to find out what happened to her. I owe her that much." Spencer stated with an air of finality.
"Alright Reid, let's say that Lauren did somehow manage to get out of the building and is still alive. How do we find her?" Morgan asked as he looked down at his watch and saw that it was eleven twenty-five.
"What do mean 'we'?" asked Spencer as he watched Morgan get up from his seat and walk over so that he was standing next to him.
"'We' as in me, you, and the others, now come on so we can find somewhere to crash for tonight. Well head back to Virginia first thing in the morning." and with that said Morgan turned around and headed toward the door.
After paying for the drinks Spencer followed him out of the bar and they took a cab back to the hotel that Spencer was staying at. When they arrived at the hotel Morgan told Spencer to go on and try to get some sleep while he went to the front desk to pay for a room. Spencer agreed and told Morgan that he would meet him in the lobby at seven in the morning. Spencer headed up to his room wondering how he was ever going to be able to get any sleep that night but he didn't have to worry about that because as soon as he got in his room he set the alarm on his phone for six a.m. and not bothering to change clothes he laid down on the bed and as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out.
(A/N) I know that some of that may have been ooc for Reid and Morgan but it will get better. I hope. I'll post the next chapter when I can.
PS Feel free to leave ideas, questions, concerns, or tell me if you find a problem like with the timeline, grammer, or if someithing doesn't make sense.
