Golden Girls: Pussy Willows

Written

by

Ben Dover

Disclaimer- I don't own the Golden Girls, the characters, or anything. But I did write this story, based on the characters created for the TV Show Golden Girls.

Chapter One: Pussy Is Coming To Town!

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon. Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia were all sitting in the living room watching TV. Mama's Family was on. Sophia started cracking up and slapping her knee. She then pointed at the TV, as Dorothy and Rose both gave her weird looks.

"That old lady cracks me up," Sophia said, continuining to laugh.

Dorothy starts sniffing the air. She then makes a face of disgust.

"What is that awful odor?" Dorothy asked.

"Don't look at me. I haven't passed gas in forty-five minutes," Rose said, smiling.

"Thanks for the details, Rose. Ma, did you wet yourself?" Dorothy asked.

"Let it go, Dorothy. It'll dry," Sophia said.

Everyone turned around when Blanche strode into the living room. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"Who were you talking to on the phone for so long?" Dorothy asked.

"That's what I'd like to know. You haven't been on the phone for that long since you took that side job as a phone sex operator," Rose said.

"And that job paid good money too. Plus it's the only job I've ever had where I could have sex with lots of men without having to worry about getting pregnant," Blanche said, playing with her hair.

"Give it a rest, Blanche. Who was on the phone?" Dorothy asked, agitated.

"It was my friend from college. Her name is Pussy Willows. She's coming to stay here for the night," Blanche said.

"Pussy Willows? That's my favorite movie. Well, after Deep Throat," Sophia said.

"Ma, must you admit that you watch dirty movies," Dorothy said, raising her voice.

"Hey, I'm in my eighties. At my age, you should be glad that I can still watch anything," Sophia said.

"In St. Olaf, we had a theater that showed dirty movies. Oh, I can remember seeing Gone With The Wind and Casablanca there," Rose said, getting nostalgic.

"But Rose, those aren't dirty movies," Dorothy said.

"Well, in St. Olaf they were. There, any movie with kissing was considered dirty," Rose said.

"Oh, I'm so excited about Pussy coming to town," Blanche said, jumping up and down like a little girl.

"Pussy has already come to town. Just look around. There's nothing but pussy in this room," Sophia said.

"Oh, Ma," Dorothy said, reaching over and pinching her mother's arm.

"Well, I'm going to go get ready. Pussy said she would be here in about an hour. Lord, I haven't seen that woman since college. So, it's been about fifteen years," Blanche said.

"Try thirty years, Blanche," Dorothy said.

"Leave her alone, Dorothy. Let the slut think that she's younger than she really is," Sophia said flatly.

Blanche walked off toward her bedroom, laughing. The other women turned their attention to back to the TV.