Their surroundings felt like one big playful grin of sheer satisfaction overlaid by sleepy memories of their night of sexual pleasure. It crossed both women's minds that they wanted to know more about each other.
"Did you really say last night that that you've never slept with a woman. I can't believe it or else I'm really lucky," Alice murmured in total joy and wonder.
"Believe it or not, it's never crossed my mind until recently," mused George, a faraway look in her eyes, while Alice listened attentively." It was the combination of me dumping that fearful ex of mine and being in an unusually self-questioning frame of mind, as well as taking on Sally Anne's case. I interviewed Sally Anne and her partner Trisha and it struck me how right they looked together and how wrong I've always been with my ex partners… even John. It all went round and round in the back of my mind. After the court case, I felt that I was in the mood to party and Trisha's club sounded vaguely …alluring, a case of forbidden fruit. I knew that Claire Walker came along out of politeness but I really wanted to come, but I didn't know why. As soon as I saw you, something in me really connected and I discovered just why I came."A warm smile spread across Alice's face and the sunlight caused her eyes to sparkle like jewels. She could listen to George talk all day. She wanted to know so much about her and to share her own deepest corners of her own mind with this remarkable woman who she sensed embodied both strength and sympathy. Everything seemed so right and balanced between the two women.
"There's so much I want to know about such a femme fatale as you, darling. It's not that very sexy accent of yours…though it helps but I like what I know of you already."
George was touched by Alice's sensitivity. Her word 'like' wasn't some anaemic polite meaningless word, but was Alice's way of relating to her as a human being and not just as an object of desire. Her mind cleared itself rapidly and she rattled away her history.
"As you might gather, I come from a frightfully conventional background. I was brought up in a certain way, so it isn't easy to question it especially if I'm the daughter of a judge. I was rebellious and willful in certain ways, but within limits. I was brought up both to succeed in my professional and also to make a suitable marriage. Me being me, I had to choose the most disreputable man, yet rising star of the legal profession. After my marriage went pear shaped, I hooked up with that dreadful politician, urggh," George shuddered at the memory." I must have been mad."
"Everyone makes their own choice in life," Alice said with a studiously formal tone of voice.
"Darling, you don't have to feel insecure and wonder if all this is some temporary aberration and I'm going to go back to men. I now know very well what I want out of life. There might be an advantage to both of us in me facing up to my sexuality now than earlier in my life. You might have put me down as a hard, unfeeling woman. Many have in the past."
"I can't deny it crossed my mind," the dark haired woman admitted shamefacedly." What I can't figure out is how you've made such a dramatic switch. It's unheard of...though there's a first time for anything."
"You mean every woman you've ever known has found it a battle to own up to who they really are." George softly answered with a nod of appreciation at this woman's intelligence. Last night Alice had been blown away by this blond woman's incredible and uninhibited sensuality in all the arts of lovemaking and this revelation and this demonstration of gentle concern for her melted her heart.
"I'm really talking about myself as much as anyone." "Tell me about it, darling. I so want to know all there is to know about you." "I'm in my mid thirties now so I'm talking about a different time when women started to really step out in life. I was really young when I made my choice. My parents were normal, average, wondering about their daughter's choice of friends, would she do well in her exams, casting a close eye on prospective boyfriends. Of course, I was the apple of their eye…sleepovers with 'friends' was an easy matter. Getting to know who you are is a job and a half when you're in your teens. Add in feelings of guilt of living a lie to your parents and your need to live your own life your way and you have a whole lot of confusion. It took a lot of time for them to accept me, who I was and that I was supposedly going to live happily after with Becky." George felt the sudden chill in her bones as she heard Alice's voice trailing to an uncertain stop. It foretold bad news. "Darling, it sound as if what you're going to say sounds painful. You don't have to tell me, you know," the blond haired woman said tenderly. "George… if we're going to know each other better, it's better that you know," Alice answered as if she were driving herself forward. "Becky was one of those women who was the life and soul of the party while I was quieter then than I am now. We met each other's needs and I was captivated and drawn into her world. I really cared for her and that was half the trouble. I didn't see that I was being drawn into a relationship with an attractive woman with a clinical bipolar condition….. It was like being on an emotional roller-coaster, sad and empty when she shut herself emotionally from me… and was frightening, when she got into one of her rages. Of course, my occupation didn't help….." "What's that, Alice?" "A social worker. That says everything about me. I've been forever sorting out everyone else's problems and never my own," Alice continued in short, stark sentences to cut off the pain she felt. "For a long time, I tried to work out that if only I could find the key to her, she could be made better. Finally, Nikki saw what was going on and finally got through to me. She explained that I had a right to consider what my own needs were and that I had a right to them. It showed me that I deserved more out of the relationship than I was getting. Telling Becky that I was getting out of the relationship and breaking free was the hardest thing I ever did. I had to pretend when I broke up with her that I wasn't feeling what came most natural to me. A detached part of me saw how cleverly she ran a guilt trip on me, all her tears and finally all her rages, when that didn't work, I was at odds with my own reluctance to appear to be giving up on her." "You poor thing," said George, her words dripping with sympathy. "I swear I would treat you properly." Her arms slid round Alice automatically and hugged the tenseness out of her. George could tell that her lover was reliving her nightmare and only came out of it thanks to her physical reassurance. "Is that a would or will? You're talking about our future." Alice asked with a half smile. "Definitely a will. Do you seriously think that I'd let you go without a struggle? You must know my reputation by now." Alice had been lying on her back as she had been telling George about her past, hearing her lover's disembodied voice gently steer their conversation along. Now her sensuous tones brought her back to the present pleasures and Alice most definitely wanted a part of it. Alice turned to recline on her side, propping her head up on her arm. She took a good look at her lover's shapely curves and the way her blond hair fell over her shoulders and framed her face. Even first thing in the morning, there was an unmistakable elegance about her. Alice could hardly believe her luck that, without thinking about it, she had happened on a very special lady with her own brand of strength and sympathy. She smiled in satisfaction at the wonderful calm and serenity that surrounded them both. She had never thought such a thing was possible. She was only too aware that George had that attractively unashamed delight in what lay before her eyes and marvelled how she seemed free of any externally imposed ideas of how she should think or feel or be.They lay together on George's large double bed, on the shiny white sheets and white fluffed up pillows, the quilt being untidily crumpled around them. Both were slightly overawed at what they were starting to know about each other, how accurate their instincts had been to pick each other out from the crowds on the dance floor, not helped by the flashing colours and subdued lighting. They could both sense a shared future beginning to define itself before their eyes. The sunlight shone in through the windows and this, and the moment of peace and calmness, was absolutely real to them both.