Agape, Kill Me with Your Kindness

Pairing: 2 x 4, 4 x 2 (interchangeable)

Summary: An inaccurate perception of past canon and future fictional events. Ichimatsu hated Karamatsu. He hated him so much that he loved him. Karamatsu, on the other hand, unconditionally loves his brothers. He loves all of them so much that he's willing to do almost anything to please them, with the hopes of receiving any of their attention, of their love. One thing leads to another, and the two of them are starting off a horribly dysfunctional relationship. Only time can tell if they'll truly love each other or not.

Warnings for this story: BDSM, Dysfunctional Relationship, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, Emotional Manipulation, Interchangeable Positions, Poor Attempt at Dirty Talk, Rough Sex, Angry Sex, Objectification, Pet play, Public Humiliation, Dubious Consent, Sex Toys, Praise Kink, Omorashi, Watersports, Smell Fetish

(Should a warning be needed for a chapter, I'll label it with an [E].)

A/N: Hey, thanks for opening up this story and giving it a chance. To be quite honest, I'm not too sure about this fanfiction. I've read a few Osomatsu-san stuff out there, and quite frankly, I'm worried that this isn't in character at all. So do me a favor and take this self-indulgent story with a grain of salt.

Thank you.


Ichimatsu hated Karamatsu. He really, really did.

Well really, it wasn't quite as simple as just hatred. In fact, it would have been easier if he had just hated Karamatsu, like how he hated spicy foods. There was no debate as to whether or not he really hated it, or if he liked it sometimes and hated it other times, or if he claimed to hate it but tried it whenever he got the bloody chance, he just hated it. Simple as that.

But Karamatsu was different. But then again, wasn't Karamatsu always different?

With Osomatsu, he was annoying as hell, but he was still the eldest, and despite his horribly flippant nature, he was protective. Kind. With Choromatsu, he could sympathize with him, and to be honest, he rather liked him. He wouldn't hang out with him—that was Jyuushimatsu's spot, sorry for him—but there was no reason to hate him or even dislike him. With Todomatsu, he was a bratty little bitch, but despite everything, he was still the youngest. The most successful, but also the youngest. Although he liked to treat the rest of his brothers like trash. Well. Ichimatsu was, but his brothers weren't.

But Karamatsu. Karamatsu he hated. Karamatsu he loathed. But he never really remembered why or when it started.

So he sat down one day, when all of his obnoxious brothers were out of the house, and he thought about him. About Karamatsu. About how he felt for him.

And he realized that he didn't just hate him; he hated him until he loved him.

He hated how kind Karamatsu was, but he also loved that same attribute, because it was the very reason why, despite Ichimatsu's cruel behavior towards him, that he never did so much as bat an eyelash. He hated how horribly tacky he looked in that ridiculous leather jacket and those cheap shades, but he always wanted to try it out, just once (not that he ever would). He hated how confident Karamatsu was, but he always was so incredibly jealous that he could face adversity in the face and still smile despite everything. He loved yet hated him at the same time.

But that wasn't quite it, was it? Karamatsu was everything that he wasn't, but that wasn't why he felt like this. Yes, surely, all of those attributes played a part in Ichimatsu's feelings for Karamatsu, but that wasn't really why he hated him.

It started when Karamatsu had just graduated from high school. It was six years ago, when they had all faced a rough time in their life. Their parents were having a really bad bump in their relationship; they constantly fought, and although they tried they tried their best to keep it from their sons, it was hard not to hear, since they slept literally a room or two away from them. Their arguments were the loudest and most violent at night, and everyone slowly broke. Jyuushimatsu began to develop nervous habits, eating inedible objects whenever he grew panicked; in fact, there were many times they had to take him to the hospital because he would choke on a piece of metal or a wire or even worse, occasionally on a small screw driver that could have did more damage than it had done. Osomatsu started to sneak out late at night to drown himself in pachinko; Choromatsu had insomnia and couldn't sleep, so he constantly took pills, but it led to depression, which he tried to hide by burying himself in his studies, and Todomatsu often went to clubs and got himself drunk out of his mind. They had all graduated by the skin of their teeth; their grades were pretty acceptable, Choromatsu's being the highest because he always studied, but their attendance record was abominable. It was shortly after they passed this phase that Karamatsu had gotten himself a job.

Karamatsu had gone through the same struggles that the other five had, but he was always smiling. He was always trying to be the emotional support of the five of them, and that time was no exception. He had told them—in that horribly cheerful and flamboyant way of his—that the best way to get out of this emotional slump was to get a job. Everyone had whined then, not really wanting to be bothered with doing anything since everything had just returned to normal—including their parents—but Karamatsu, wanting to be the damn role model for his brothers, went out and got himself a job at a supermarket as a cashier. He told them that if he could do it, they could do it. Thinking back about it, maybe it was around this time that they started to ignore him; he kept on mentioning it over and over and god did everyone hate to hear it, his lectures about job hunting. But despite their newborn cold attitude towards him, Karamatsu was never deterred; if anything, he tried even harder to convince them to get a job, to do something with their lives, because if they didn't, they would become NEETs, and Karamatsu knew that none of them wanted that. But he had mentioned it one too many times, and one day, it backfired, and Choromatsu had snapped.

He had gotten up from the floor and grabbed Karamatsu's collar and punched him hard in the face to get him to shut up. And then he had yelled at him, saying, "Goddamn it, Karamatsu, you're so fucking conceited. You think you're better than us, huh?! Well, you ain't. You're a piece of trash like the rest of us, and you'd do better to remember that. A job? You think we want a fucking job, more fucking stress after everything finally got back to normal, huh?! Well, do you? Well let me tell you, we don't. And you bugging us every five seconds isn't going to change anything. So quit your yapping and let us decide what we want to do with our fucking lives."

Ichimatsu had thought that Karamatsu would have said something; after all, Choromatsu had just hit him for no reason—even if Karamatsu was annoying about the whole job situation—but Karamatsu, with his painfully nice self, simply had apologized for his actions. He didn't argue back, didn't even get angry, nothing. He simply smiled and told them that he was wrong for pushing them into doing something that they hadn't wanted, and then he left. Todomatsu had quickly ran off after him, worried about his wellbeing, but that was it. Not only that, but days later, Karamatsu had quit his job as a cashier, claiming that he had "seen the light" and wanted to laze around with them—which was really a guise just to make his brothers happy, for them to forgive him— and Ichimatsu began to hate him. He hated him because he didn't even stand up for himself. He hated him because he was too damn nice. And it wasn't like this was a one-time thing. Karamatsu was always being blamed, always the scapegoat for their stupid pranks ever since the six of them were young, and Karamatsu always just took it with a smile. At that time, Ichimatsu didn't think much of it. But now? He was disgusted. He was disgusted by how selfless Karamatsu was. He was disgusted by hard he tried to make his brothers happy, to put them first. He was disgusted. And soon, that disgust transformed into hatred. Ichimatsu wanted to see how nice Karamatsu really was, how much he would compromise for his brothers.

It started off small. He was cold to him for a while, didn't greet him, didn't stay anywhere near him. Karamatsu and Ichimatsu weren't really the best of brothers, but they had talked a lot, especially when they were in high school. So he knew that Karamatsu noticed the difference in his behavior. But that Karamatsu, that damn Shittymatsu didn't do anything. He didn't question, he didn't get angry; he just took it all with a smile, repeatedly greeting Ichimatsu with a smile like he always did, as if he expected Ichimatsu to smile back and greet him back one day. And that made Ichimatsu hate Karamatsu even more.

Over the past six years, his hatred slowly turned into a twisted sort of love, the type of love that—was definitely not appropriate between brothers (god Ichimatsu was so disgusting)—was obsessive, destructive, almost suffocating. He started becoming increasingly violent towards Karamatsu, wanting to see how much he would take before he finally reacted, yet loving him all the more for not giving in, for being so damn kind, so damn altruistic. It came to a point that he would react badly if Karamatsu even spoke so much as a good word about him (after a while, Karamatsu learned to stay away from Ichimatsu, since he knew how bellicose Ichimatsu was). And it wasn't like the rest of his brothers were any nicer. They outright ignored Karamatsu a lot of the times, and Choromatsu, although somewhat cordial ever since that incident, didn't really initiate contact with Karamatsu at all. Karamatsu was just another person to him, albeit a person that he saw every day.

Everything was so messed up. Karamatsu was the kindest out of all of them, yet he was treated the worst. Maybe, just like Ichimatsu, they wanted to see how much Karamatsu would take before he snapped. If he actually snapped.

Until that day, Ichimatsu would continue to do this to Karamatsu. It was repulsive—especially on those days that he imagined what Karamatsu's expression would be like when he finally crumpled, when Ichimatsu's dick would all but strain in his pants and he would have to casually leave the common room to beat off in the bathroom—but he wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop, especially since it's so habitual now, hating Karamatsu and taking out his frustrations on him. And a part of him felt guilty, it really did, but a bigger part of him felt that Karamatsu deserved this, that if he had just stood up for himself just once, this would all stop. But Karamatsu was too nice, too loving. He would never try to put a burden on any of them in any way.

Perhaps that's what got the both of them into this mess in the first place.