People ask me all the time if I knew I was a lesbian, why did I wait so long to tell Mark. Well, now you get the answer. With all the horny details you lucky sons of bitches. Now, I know it sounds bad, but the truth is- I actually kinda felt sorry for the guy.

I mean, think about it. Here we have an innocent little guy, dropped into New York and thinks its his job to pick up the broken pieces of his childhood best friend. Practically hero. Who the hell wouldn't wanna give the guy a damn hug.

And he was such a nerd. And so sweet. SUPER kinky. And coming from me? You know its true. Although he was also totally in denial. He stared at Roger like he was a fucking /God/. Not that I minded... I had side dishes too. But really, it was almost an unhealthy obsession. And he hid it so well it was scary. But once youre with him for awhile, you notice these things. And his room? Pictures and film strewn everywhere and I would bet a good 50 percent of it was Roger.

I never understood the fascination. Roger was kind of an ass. Sexy, sure Ill give him that, but the second he opens his mouth you wanna hit him. And he snorts when he laughs but- yeah. I didnt see the appeal. But Mark did. And lived for months trying to ignore it.

Its a shame, really. He and Roger would be kind of a sexy couple. Hell, with how kinky Mark gets, I wouldnt mind seeing him beat Roger around a bit. Make him beg like the bitch he is...

Anyway. Yeah... So, after Rogers problems were mostly resolved, Mark started getting sloppy. Desperate if you will. I mean, Two men. Horny, men. Living together in a freezing loft. Hell, it gets me going to think about the endless possibilities. Got Mark going too. He started leaving his toys out for Roger to see. He got louder for Roger to hear. He'd cuddle me on the couch to get Roger jealous. So I did him a goddamn favor. I dumped him. Right in front of Roger, making it clear that not only were they Horny men living alone in a freezing loft, they were now both /single/ Horny men living alone in a freezing loft.

Still nothing happened. Mark psyched himself out. Didnt have the guts to do a goddamn thing. And he was fucking blind enough to not see Rogers countless advances.

Ok so then I got pissed. ...I finally decided I was going to call Mark over for a soundcheck and lay it all out on the table. You. Roger. Fuck. Simple, right? Im a fucking genius. However, My plan didnt account for a sexy waitress inviting me over to her place... Oops.

Roger met Mimi that night. And Mark all but gave up.

Now, I have absolutely nothing against Mimi. Or Roger for that matter, but... They- I knew they wouldnt work.

Yea, I know. They seemed like the absolute perfect couple. And I know. They were in love and passionate and daring they were on fire. And Roger seemed happy for the first time in a long time. ... Mark came to my house crying when Roger moved in with her and confessed to what I knew all along. But he thought it was to late. I didnt say anything. I held him and let him cry. He spent the night and went home to an empty loft.

Angel died that Halloween. And everything changed.

The power couple broke up. Joanne left me. Roger sold his guitar and drove out west somewhere. Mark says he came to my house the night Roger left, but Joanne came back and was screaming so loud from our make up sex I didnt hear the doorbell... Ok maybe I was screaming but thats so not the point.

From there, Even I lost track of what may come next. Things made less and less sense for everyone. Benny started seeing Mimi. Collins left. Mark was selling out and still alone.

Mimi and Roger- yeah they were perfect. Perfect for healing. Roger got over April and started actually living again. Mimi quit smack and found a whole lot of self respect. But after the healing comes rebuilding. Neither one knew shit about that
They needed different things. They were at different points in their lives.

Roger needed an anchor. Something to hold on to. Someone who was always there to hold him and kiss him and fuck him and tell him it was all going to be ok. Someone to pick him up with a smile and take it slow, day by day. Someone to listen to his shit songs and tell him he was a genius. He needed someone to dominate him. He needed Mark.

Mimi needed a lover. Someone as passionate and as on fire as she was. She needed someone to make love to every night and say "I love you" no matter what. Someone to tell her she was sexy even if she was 20 pounds underweight. She needed someone to dominate. She thought she needed Benny. When that failed, she went back to her old habits.

When Roger came home, It was Mark who was waiting for him. And Mimi was gone.

Mark tells me it was then when they shared their first kiss.

Roger and Mimi loved each other. They loved each other verry much. Anyone with eyes could see that.

Rogers song to a seemingly dying Mimi made that very clear. But they were never /in/ love.

Mark loved me. But we wernt in love either.

Benny loved Mimi. And Roger loved April. And Mimi loved smack. So did Roger. I loved meaningless sex and Joanne loved work.

But to be /in/ love. It doesnt come around that often. Most people dong even recognize it.

Thankfully, eventually, we all did.

Mimi moved to California a few months ago and got engaged last week to a doctor who specializes in the treatment and prevention of HIV. Ironic.

Collins joined Angel yesterday... I guess their love was too much for the earth to handle.

Roger wrote his one song and got his glory. Four nights a week he plays at a college bar up town where drunk adolescents tell him he inspired them.

Mark sits in front, warding off lonely drunk girls from his man. Afterwards he and Roger take a cab back to the loft and gay out.

As for me? Im still with Joanne. Weve even started talking about adoption. We moved to DC where she started working for an organization working to legalizing same sex marriage. You can guess who her secretary is.

So I guess it all worked out. Yeah, there were rough patches and times we wanted to kill eachother... But love truely does heal.