Chapter I

Greetings mere mortals, I am the Catatfish. I am a great wizard, and a ghost, and I am also a fish. But it was not always this way. I was once a common catfish swimming in a lake somewhere, I can't quite remember where exactly, it was a long time ago. In those days twas said that I indulged in receiving bass to mouth from an underage salmon, wait did I say bass to mouth, I meant ass to trout, but I suppose they are pretty much the same thing. The important fact to remember here is that part of the story is a flat out lie! It never happened; I never had sexual relations with that salmon and most certainly did not force her to perform bass to mouth.

Anyways where was I? Back to the beginning; I was much like any other catfish, swimming around in a lake or stream. Yet I was special, not merely a catfish, but the Catatafish. My gifts and wisdom brought in folks from miles around to witness my fishiness. Even the great Gay Fish Kanye West sought out my presence when he had a spat with his former lover, a wide bottomed grouper. We discussed fishsticks and fish dicks for hours as the day turned to night and I fell asleep in his fishy arms. Mind you the Catatafish has one of the biggest fish dicks of all but I am too much of a gentleman to take advantage of Mr. West in his moment of weakness. Since then we have remained in touch. He has turned away from the path of the gay fish and instead prefers the company of hobbits now. Oh well, whatever makes him happy is fine with me. Fish sticks aside there was much to be done in the day to day lives of a fish. I ate, practiced sea-magic, ran errands for Sea-man when he was away from the League of Super Best Friends and I trained fish wizard apprentices in the arts of the Catatafish. I was a cult hero and loved by all. Life was good but nay, it was not to last.

You see, way back in the summer of '02 I was cruelly snatched out of the pond I call home by one Mr. Master. Mr. Master was a cruel sadistic man for cared not for the lives and affairs of fish. He would assume just use us for our fish dicks and cast us aside to be made into fish sticks. When he snatched me up he brought be to his apartment on the east side of South Park where he introduced me to his partner Mr. Slave. Need I say that this introduction soon got to be a bit too personal. Mr. Master shoved me so deep inside Mr. Slave's ass that I could not escape. I tried to swim back but it was to no avail; the path had been shut by the great and mighty sphincter. From there my final journey in the realm of the living began. Soon enough the mystical, supernatural fish that you know today would be born.