-1Let's Make a Deal

By: Phoenix Dayze

PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or any of its characters. And I highly doubt this would ever happen if I did, although it would be really fun…

Sanzo couldn't believe he was about to do this. It was completely and utterly insane! And the fact that Gojyo had suggested it just made it that much worse! All of Sanzo's instincts screamed for him to run, to flee this precarious situation as fast as possible… wait, who was he kidding? All of his instincts screamed for him to whip out his gun and put a hole between Gojyo's eyes, and then put a few rounds into the fat, greasy guy who was trying to put a few holes in him.

"Come on, Sanzo," an annoyingly calm voice needled, "it's really not that bad. Just a little prick and it's all done."

Sanzo growled. "Well, you're the reigning expert on 'little pricks', so I guess you would know. But I don't see how that's supposed to comfort me."

"Hey! Don't go insulting my goods until you have the inside scoop, you damn shitty monk! I'm Sha Gojyo! There ain't nothing little about me!"

"If you say so." Sanzo wasn't buying it, and quite frankly, Gojyo's voice was beginning to grate on him more and more by the second. He fixed the redhead with a withering stare. "What I'd like to know is that if you have such big balls, how come it's me in the chair about to get mutilated? Why don't you sit here and face death by infection?"

"Because," Gojyo snapped, "I've already taken that test. Aced it every time!"

"That's because you keep Aces up your asss…..AAWWWRRROOWW!!!" A thick needle forced its way through the sensitive skin of Sanzo's left nipple. He stared down at it in blank shock as the body-piercer forced a small glittering hoop into the abused flesh.

Gojyo grinned triumphantly. "Works every time. All ya haveta do is get em riled up…"

Sanzo tore his eyes away from his violated and throbbing chest, his gaze darkening. "You…you planned this?!"

"Of course!" Gojyo explained, as if it were the most rational thing in the world. "You gotta get 'stab victims' distracted so that good ole Leon here can do his job."

"…I'll kill you."

"No you won't." Gojyo waved him off. "Besides, it looks great!"

Sanzo rose slowly from the chair and stared at himself in the mirror. Low-riding jeans, narrow waist, well toned, creamy-skinned chest,…eye-catching gleam around one of his dusky nipples… Damn. It really did look good.

Sanzo turned to Gojyo with a forced acceptance in his eyes. "Fine. You're right. I like it, but that doesn't change what you did…" A small, malicious grin spread over his face. "Well, Gojyo, I fulfilled my end of the bet, now it's time for you to fulfill mine." He pulled a shiny gold card out of his jeans pocket.

"What's that for?" Gojyo asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice. "We already paid for you."

"Your end of the deal." Sanzo grinned then. "I want to give you pain where it will hurt you the most. So…since we're here…you're getting pierced too…"

Gojyo struggled against his bonds—they had lashed him to the chair—a panicked look feasting on his features. "Come on, Sanzo, it was just a joke! You don't have to do this! In fact, you can't! I'll scream! I'll cry! I'll suffer!"

Sanzo smiled. "Suffer away, bitch." He turned to Leon. "I don't think he can be distracted at this point, so just go when you're ready. Oh…" he gave Gojyo a sidelong look before turning back to Leon, "and use the big gauge..."