Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling and associates own these characters. I am writing this story for fun and not profit.
Rating: T
Summary: Draco shrank into himself; there couldn't possibly be anything worse than Snape being murderously angry with him— "Detention to you too, Potter, for finding this amusing." Oh, shite. It was worse.
Warnings: AU, Language, preslash, slash (not main pairing)
Sleep Away
Draco whimpered slightly. What was wrong with the house-elves lately? Just because they might be angry about being enslaved for eternity and constantly being treated like toe-rags didn't mean that they had to take it out on perfectly decent people's pillows. He could take a bit of pain, he really could, but he had a right to expect his pillows to be soft and fluffy. He scrunched his nose up, and restlessly moved his head. Sighing, he gave up; no matter how he shifted, his pillow still felt like a fucking wooden desk—
"Mr. Malfoy!"
Draco winced, and mumbled, "Really, Sev? I hear enough of your awful voice when I'm awake; is it too much for me to ask you to stay out of my dreams?"
Draco heard a sharp intake of breath, and suddenly the pillow-that-was-a-desk seemed so soft that he simply had to go back to sleep.
Bitingly wintry air frosted near his ear. "Mr. Malfoy," it hissed, "by all means, please don't go back to sleep on my account."
He opened his eyes slowly, fearfully, to a furious black gaze. He laughed nervously. "Oh, hullo, Professor! I didn't see you there!"
Snape drew himself up to his full height and said coldly, "No, I imagine you didn't."
Trying to pretend like he didn't want to piss himself, Draco sat upright, and bowed his head.
Snape hissed, "As much as it pains me to punish a member of my own House, I feel that it is necessary in this case. Detention, Mr. Malfoy, for falling asleep in my class for the past five days."
Draco shrank into himself; there couldn't possibly be anything worse than Snape being murderously angry with him—
"Detention to you too, Potter, for finding this amusing."
Oh, shite. It was worse.
oOo
Harry was five minutes early to the time which Snape had said, just because he knew that the greasy bastard would pull something ridiculous like—
"Five points from Gryffindor, Potter, for being later than Mr. Malfoy."
Like that. Harry thought about protesting, but the second the thought crossed his mind, the corner of Snape's mouth twitched. Harry wisely decided against it.
"Now that you've both chosen to grace me with your presence," Snape began nastily, "we can begin. Mr. Malfoy, please sort out the lacewing flies from the black beetles. Potter, since I know you to be incompetent with any sort of Potions-related activity, you will write me two thousand lines of 'I shall not disrupt class with my disgustingly mule-like braying.' I shall be back in four hours.
"I expect you both to be finished by then," he finished ominously. He swirled out of the room, and Harry flinched as he heard the door lock.
He sighed heavily; just what he wanted: four hours alone with Malfoy. He looked down at his seemingly innocent parchment, and scowled. Two thousand lines in four hours were going to be a nightmare.
He cursed loudly, and Malfoy…snuffled?
He turned to look at the stupid prat, and sighed again. Great. Just what he wanted: four hours alone with a sleeping Malfoy.
oOo
Draco whimpered happily. Finally, here was a place where no one could bother him, or frighten him, or destroy his innocence with–
He heard loud grunting noises from behind him, and a breathy, "Oh, you are so good!"
Draco saw red. "Is there a single place in this godforsaken world where you haven't fucked?" he screamed.
Something was chucked at his head, and a wry voice answered, "Quite a few, actually. Now wake the hell up and sort your insects."
oOo
Harry watched his quill bounce off of the back of Malfoy's head. Malfoy sat blearily and looked around. He said dazedly, "Where am I?"
Harry responded, "Detention, you prat. Now get to work."
Malfoy's eyes grew round with awe. "D-detention? And only you and I have it?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes, Malfoy. You're dafter than I thought you were."
He watched, bewildered, as Malfoy practically squealed with joy and started separating the bugs. Harry shrugged, and Summoned his quill, then dejectedly began writing his lines. He stopped after four repetitions of 'I shall not disrupt class with my disgustingly mule-like braying,' to listen to Malfoy mumble some sort of odd mantra under his breath.
Harry listened more closely, and found it sounded like: "No more Crabbe, no more Goyle, no more Crabbe and Goyle…"
He sighed, and slammed his hand down on the desk. Malfoy jumped, and glared at him. "What, Potter?"
"Malfoy, if you don't stop muttering about the absence of your henchmen, I'm going to throttle you."
Surprisingly, Malfoy hunched over, and gave the door to the classroom a fearful glance. He whispered, "Believe me, Potter, if you had suffered like I have, you'd be frolicking with joy right now at the fact that they aren't here."
Harry raised an eyebrow. "Frolicking? Really? Anyway, I thought you three were like the Golden Trio of Slytherin. Aren't you?"
Malfoy leaned closer to him, and said confidentially, "We used to be, up until about a week ago. And then… It happened."
Harry blinked. "What happened?"
Malfoy shuddered in disgust. "It hurts just to even remember. I was lying in my bed, exactly one week ago, and preparing to go to sleep…"
oOo
It was eleven o'clock, and the dorm room was almost pitch black, save for a few lit candles. I had completed my nightly ritual, and was prepared to say "Nox," when I heard sounds most uncommon to the dorm. A most inelegant grunting and squeaking was occurring. I assumed that one of my uncouth roommates had merely forgotten a Silencing Charm, so I graciously cast one for whoever it was. Five minutes later, on the brink of sweet slumber, I was rudely made wide-awake by the continuation of the groaning and rocking. Whoever it was had broken the Silencing Charm by the sheer force of their noise! I listened more carefully, to see which of my roommates I would have to Hex, and I heard–
"Oh, Vincent, you're a god!"
"Mmm…Greg, you're so tight!"
Needless to say, my innocence was shattered right then and there. They've been shagging every night since, and I haven't slept decently in a week.
oOo
"Which is why, you see, I've been sleeping in all my classes." Malfoy stared desperately at him.
Harry was shocked to find that he actually pitied Malfoy for another reason than being pointy-looking. He asked, "Er…can't you ask them to stop, or something?"
Malfoy gave him a half-crazed look, and cried impatiently, "Don't you know, Potter, that their grasp on English is terrible? They wouldn't understand, even if I ordered them to stop, because it wouldn't contain the words 'beat up' or 'eat!'"
Harry scratched his head, and might've even offered his sympathy, but Malfoy gave a great sigh, and turned back to his piles. "Never mind, Potter. I'll just keep on not sleeping until one day I'll keel over in class and die. It'll be alright."
"Can't you ask Snape to move you into a different dormitory?" Harry tried.
Malfoy gave him a withering glance. "Don't be asinine, Potter. He'd just tell me it was character building, or some such rot. Do you honestly think he'd favour me after what I said to him in class today?"
Harry snickered slightly at the memory. "No, I suppose not. But why don't you just sleep out in your common room?"
Malfoy look horrified at the very idea. "Have you ever been in the Slytherin common room, Potter? No, of course not; that was a stupid question. I could never sleep there; there aren't any comfortable sofas, or squashy armchairs. There are just these damned high-backed chairs that are made of stone, or something; they're so painful to sit in, let alone sleep. Besides–"
oOo
In a daze, he heard himself suggest, "There's an extra bed in my room now that Neville left."
The offer hung in the air as Malfoy stared at him, wide-eyed, and Harry began to contemplate what he had just said. Oh. Damn.
He found himself with an armful of blubbering Malfoy, as the blond tearfully promised to never fight with a Gryffindor for the rest of his life, to treat Harry Potter and all of his friends with the deepest respect, and to be the best roommate that Harry had ever had.
oOo
It was like the worst nightmare Harry had ever dreamt of. Malfoy dragged him off to McGonagall's office, and happily announced that Harry Potter had offered him a place in his dormitory. Harry supposed that he must have made some involuntary twitching motion when McGonagall asked him if it was true, because the next thing he knew, Draco Malfoy and he were standing hand-in-hand in front of a group of gawking Gryffindor boys.
As is through a fog, he felt Malfoy squeeze his arm, and chirp, "Harry asked me to stay here, and I promise I won't cause too much trouble! Thank you so much for letting me stay!"
oOo
Harry sighed, and shifted slightly. Call him paranoid, but he just couldn't sleep peacefully with Malfoy so near. Oh, well. Thinking about it would do him no good.
The bed dipped behind him, and an arm wrapped around his waist. Harry froze. Malfoy breathed into his ear–
oOo
"–it's cold in there."
Harry whirled around, and snapped, "You can't sleep in my room!"
Malfoy looked at him bemusedly. "I never said I wanted to, Potter. I don't think I could sleep with you so near. It'd give me nightmares. Just watch the door for Snape, so I can nick some Dreamless Sleep from him, yeah?"
Shuddering, he turned to face the door. Draco Malfoy would never sleep with him.
A/N: Famous last words, eh? :]
I'm marking this as complete for now, but this might eventually evolve into a chaptered fic where Draco Malfoy does indeed sleep with Harry Potter. Possibly.
The title comes from the self-same song by Bob Acri. If you're into jazz, it's an interesting piece.
