Heart to Heart

"It's not too late to turn back" Jeremy whispered as surreptitiously as he could, smile not breaking as he and Elena walked the long driveway to the Lockwood residence, careful not to bump into the many other families making their way to the Mayor's manor.

Elena placed her free hand on his arm, a gesture of reassurance for her younger brother. "It's over a hundred years too late Jeremy. We're the last of the Gilbert line and one of the Founding Families. It would not do well for us to be absent from such an event and besides, it's only one night out of the year. I'm sure you can manage".

He would have liked to grump and whine his distaste and lack of enthusiasm for the event further but they had reached the porch where the Lockwood family, Mayor Richard Lockwood, his wife Carol and their son Tyler were stood, greeting the long line of guests to their home.

Jeremy sighed. Tonight was only going to be bearable if he could manage to avoid Tyler for the whole event, which didn't really seem possible in the confines of the house. Maybe if he could cajole one of the caterers into giving him a bottle of champagne than he could deal, or if not, just swipe one from the kitchen when no one was looking.

"Elena my dear, it's so good to see you" Carol Lockwood greeted, clasping the young girls hand, "And Jeremy my word, haven't you grown into a fine young gentleman". Both Gilbert's played their parts dutifully, shaking hands and kissing cheeks. Jeremy even found it within himself to smile at Tyler as they met, though the older boy couldn't manage to even feign interest. "Jerk" Jeremy thought as he and Elena moved off into the house.

After the niceties had concluded it was time for the festivities to begin, as was the custom at the Founders Ball the Founding families were the first to lead in the dancing. Stefan was to be Elena's partner for the waltz and Jeremy, who couldn't believe his good luck, was excused from the dance. Hanging on the fringes of the large room Jeremy watched as his sister moved with a fluidity he didn't possess, the smile on her face as radiant as she and her eyes never leaving Stefan's.

Jeremy was happy for his sister; she deserved some good in her life after all the crap that they'd endured. Losing their parents had hit them both hard, Jeremy more than Elena, and was the catalyst of his downward spiral into alcohol, drugs and depression. Years had passed now, Elena was a senior and graduating in the fall, Jeremy had put in the effort after months of ditching classes and had pulled his GPA up to a 4.0. He only had to survive another year at Mystic Falls high and he could apply for a scholarship to The American Academy of Art in Chicago, anything to get out of this small town.

Jeremy smiled when he saw Tyler and Caroline twirling around the floor. Though she tried her hardest to dance with style it was impossible not to notice how many mistakes the couple were making, thanks in large part to Tyler who looked about as graceful on the makeshift dance floor as a walrus trying to dance in a cabaret. It was a simply satisfying feeling to know that he was better than Tyler at dancing; though it wasn't something he would boast openly about, he didn't actively seek to become a punching bag.

"Word is there's unattended alcohol in the kitchen" Anna whispered in his ear. A small smile crept upon Jeremy's face as the eternally teenage vampire stepped to his side. "Nice to see you here" Jeremy whispered back, "I didn't think the Lockwood's would let you in".

"Oh they tried, but there's only so much a human can hope to achieve against a vampire. Keeping us out of parties will always be a lost battle".

A round of applause bought Jeremy's attention back to the room, his sister curtsying to her boyfriend and the crowd. "What a wonderful start to the evening's festivities" Carol Lockwood announced, stepping onto the floor with her husband in arm, "Such beautiful dancing, from the ladies at least". Laughter rippled through the crowd, all eyes turning to Tyler who had the good sense to keep his head high and laugh along with the crowd, even though his eyes betrayed his true feelings.

"Come on, while everyone's preoccupied" Anna said, grasping Jeremy by the arm and dragging him through the throng of people, making their apologies to the guests as they bumped their way to the kitchen at the back of the house.

Anna made sure the coast was clear, waiting for the last caterer to leave the kitchen to make the rounds with little canapés and appetizers that Jeremy doubted would make a full meal for anyone here tonight. With an almost military precision the vampire and the human slipped in through the swinging door and crept along the outskirts of the room, a bottle in each of Anna's hand and a plate of spare hors d'oeuvres in Jeremy's. Nowhere in the house would be safe to secret themselves away for the next few hours so the only logical place was the woods surrounding the property.


"So tell me little human. Who tugs on the heartstrings of Jeremy Gilbert?" Anna asked, her tone more reminiscent of a mocking sibling than curious friend. "Little human?" Jeremy replied, question for question. She shrugged, "Term of endearment".

Jeremy snorted his disbelief and took a swig from the near empty bottle, liking the way the bubbles tickled as they raced down this throat. "Why does there have to be someone? I'm doing just fine on my own". It wasn't a lie per se, just not the entire truth. After Vicki the thought of a relationship just didn't sit right with Jeremy. Sure there were people in town he liked, had maybe even thought about dating, but now he felt lost and didn't know which way to turn.

"There's always someone Jeremy, it's the way the world works. The smile of a pretty blonde waitress, the eyes of the girl across the classroom, the ample breasts of Lucy Parton. No matter how hard you try to seek out a solitary life you will not find it. There are seven billion people on this planet and no matter where you turn you will find someone you like". Jeremy thought on her words and found a truth in them. Anna had been around for a long time before him and would probably still be around long after he was dead. She'd told him once that being a vampire was a very solitary existence, forever ostracized to the fringes of society lest people discover her dark secret and kill her for it, or at least try.

"Promise you won't laugh" Jeremy asked quietly, his eyes fixed firmly on the stars, so far away and twinkling like gems. "Of course I won't" Anna replied, the image of innocence that all vamps are famous for but rarely put into practice.

He took a deep breathe, steeling himself for the confession, to say the words out loud for the first time. "Tyler" he said, his voice unnaturally loud in the sudden quiet of the night.

Much to her credit Anna didn't laugh which Jeremy was somewhat thankful for, but she didn't say anything either. She was just looking at him like he'd announced he was the lovechild of Frankenstein's monster and Marilyn Monroe.

"You not joking" Anna said more as a statement than a question. Jeremy could only nod. There was a moment of silence, music drifting out across the dark space between house and woods and hidden insects the only sounds to be heard.

"But he's like a total prick" Anna suddenly said, her words causing Jeremy's anxiety to disappear and be replaced with confusion. "What? Are you serious? I tell you that I'm gay and the only thing you can say is the guy I'm crushing on is a prick". He had been expecting something from her, hesitation, confusion…something other than just a remark about his choice in guys.

Anna shook her head lightly, "When you've lived as a vampire for over a hundred years you learn to see the world in a different light. Nothing's black and white, just a perpetual shade of grey. You humans spent too much time concerning yourselves with labels and categories and cliques. You possess some deep wanton need to define the world around you, to believe that things cannot be fluid in their existence but rigid and unalterable. The truth of the matter is that everything that is or will be will eventually cease to be. The humans and animals will die out, the planet will become uninhabitable, the suns will implode, the galaxies will collapse and the universe itself will unravel and disintegrate". Jeremy listened to her speech, his attention focused on Anna instead of on the bottle. He supposed that an immortal life would be worlds different than a mortal one, almost as incomprehensible the meaning of life itself and with being an immortal you'd have a longer time to riddle it out and probably still not find an answer.

"You need to learn to take every opportunity given to you, to relish the moment and seize the day. If you like guys then like guys, go on dates, fall in love, buy a house, have 2.5 kids, grow old and die happy knowing you followed your heart and were true to yourself".

Her words struck deep, both in Jeremy and in herself. As a vampire Anna would spend an eternity walking the earth forever in the form of a teenage girl. Unless she found love with another vampire, or whatever they considered love in their world, she would be alone. She would never be able to let herself fall in love, she could never have kids and she could never die, she could only watch as the man, the human man, grew old and withered and eventually left her all alone again.

"Thanks" was all Jeremy could say. He gave her a brief smile and returned the look, but soon enough she wore an unfocused expression, her eyes gazing out at nothing as she retreated into her thoughts.