Okay. So I had this uploaded before, but because of a certain reviewer, I deleted it. But then I got my head on straight thanks to Music and Feathers and my good friend Team Seth. Leah and Jake.
As of now, I don't care what people write. I'm going to keep on writing because I have way more fans than all those haters will ever have. So here's to you Wolfy, and you're crappy attitude. I don't care anymore. You can't read my stories? Fine. I won't read yours...If I knew what they were. And really? You're sorry? If you were so sorry, you wouldn't have written anything! Who cares? It's my story and NOT yours. Okay? Okay. And, really, if you had so much to say, why would you put it somewhere where the whole WORLD can see it? That's screwed up.
This is to all the haters on everyone's stories: unless they want it, don't tell them 'your story sucks' or 'you're a terrible writer' because that just ruins their confidence. I mean, really. Don't come telling someone something that YOU wouldn't want to hear. And I guarantee that you wouldn't want to hear it yourselves.
So who else hates my stories? Anyone? Really? Nobody? Oh, well. If you're done hating, I'd like to get on with my life and my love for writing.
~SashaFierce12.0
Chapter One
Jacob's P.o.V.
I stared at the closed casket quietly, still trying to make some kind of sense of what happened.
She...She was there. In there. Gone?
Yeah, dumbass. She was gone.
But...I'd done everything I could for her.
"Don't let go of me! Don't let go!"
She...I had her.
"I got you, Jakey! It'll be okay. I got you!"
And then...
"Get out! Go! Just leave me, I'll be fine!"
"But you'll-"
"Do what I say and don't ask questions!" She kissed my cheek and I escaped through the open window. I reached for her hand and was so close...But the car fell. A cry caught in my throat. I couldn't scream. I couldn't yell. I couldn't move. I sat there and watched as the giant piece of metal rolled down the hill, finally coming to a stop at the bottom. But instead of the little Volkswagen that I knew, it looked more like something you'd find at a dump.
It happened in slow motion. I yelled for her, but couldn't hear my own voice. I ran to her, but it seemed like I couldn't get there fast enough. I tripped a few times, getting scratched up some. But I didn't care. It's not like they wouldn't heal.
The car was totaled. Not really caring, I repeated her name over and over again. I shouted her name some more, but my voice was still not reaching my ears. Using all my wolf strength, I tore the top off the car.
She laid there. Her eyes stared up at me blankly. There was no emotion in them. No love. Nothing. There was a big gash down the side of her face and blood up and down the right side of her body. I choked and staggered back, my voice finally finding my ears.
"Mom."
Dad ran his hand down her casket once before wheeling himself back. My sisters sighed and Rebecca followed him out of the church. Rachael sat down next to me and gripped my hand with her right, using her left to massage my white knuckles. I stared down at my clenched fist, noticing how it quivered. Then I felt something drop off the end of my nose. It landed on my slacks then faded away. My breathing hitched and my eyes widened.
Werewolves don't cry.
I pried Rachel off of my arm and stood up, walking out of the church. I couldn't deal with this. I couldn't be here. It only increased the amount of guilt and regret I felt.
Everyone had gone to the gravesite but me. I couldn't. I sat on the church steps and stared at the small crack in the sidewalk. I seemed to be there forever before I noticed someone sit down beside me. My eyes broke free from their spot and looked at her.
"Hi," she said. I didn't say anything. We sat in silence for a while before she grabbed my hand, using the both of hers to squeeze it tightly. I looked into her eyes and she smiled at me. She brushed away a lock of her ebony hair. "I'm really, truly sorry about your mom," she whispered, her smile fading away. I turned away from her and returned my gaze to the break in the pavement. I moved my hand away from hers.
She couldn't be sorry. Sure, she knew what it felt like, but she hated me. How can she have pity for someone she hated?
"Jacob, I really am," Leah placed a hand on my shoulder. I moved it away. I prepared myself for her snide commentary and a slap to the arm, but it never came. She just sighed and stood, walking away. I watched her feet as they got closer and closer to the small crack.
Don't step on a crack...
She stepped on it and continued on her way.
Break your mother's back.
Like a small kid still believing in the old superstition, I waited for a woman's scream in agony. It never came.
Hm. Must only apply to people who actually have mothers.
00000000000000000000000
Leah's P.o.V.
I picked slowly at the chicken and rice that Emily had made. The rest of the Pack were devouring it like it was their last meal, except Jacob, who was sitting quietly at the couch and staring at the blank TV screen.
Emily sat down next to me and I glanced at her with a small smile.
"Afraid I poisoned your food or something? You've barely eaten," she joked. I smiled more before shaking my head.
"No..." I looked back at Jacob.
"Oh." Emily sucked in a breath and patted my hand. We weren't entirely the kind of friends we used to be. More like girls. Yeah. Girls. We talked and laughed together, but weren't as close as before. Sometimes I wish we were, but that idea I kept to myself. I could never be as close to her as I was after she got together with Sam. Even if she was my cousin.
"He'll be fine," she reassured me quietly.
"He doesn't look fine," I retorted. Emily sighed and got up, heading back to the kitchen.
"So, Leah. When'd you suddenly get all interested in Jake?" Paul asked, his mouth full of food. I lifted my top lip in disgust with a scoff.
"Chew and swallow before you talk, stupid," I said. I lowered my voice. "Besides, I'm not interested in him. He just looks so..." I trailed off when he stood up and walked past all of us, going out the back patio door. He closed it behind him and I watched him disappear, a little disappointed that he'd left.
Wait, wait, wait. Moi? Disappointed? ...At Jacob Black leaving Emily's house? Oh-ho-ho hell no.
"She totally has a thing for him," Jared said. He burped to finish his statement and the guys all cheered and clapped. My top lip came up even more and I rolled my eyes. "Oh! Jared Thail does it again! Yeah!" Kim, his imprint, hit his shoulder and he smiled sheepishly at her.
"Leah, if you keep it up, your face might get stuck like that," Seth said. I pretended to be offended but smiled at my baby brother. He was really the only one that could insult me without getting yelled at and/or hit. He grinned back at me before taking another bite of chicken.
"How does he do that?" Quil asked.
"How does who do what?" Seth asked, his mouth full of chicken.
"How do you make her smile like that?"
"Dunno. Guess it's just one of my many talents," my brother answered, waggling his eyebrows. I laughed a bit and shook my head.
"Hey, don't just think we can change the subject," Embry pointed at me and I went back to scowling.
"Can we not talk about this? I'm right here you know!" Seth waved his hand around. "I don't want to sit through a conversation about my sister and Jake..." He shuddered. "That'd be so freaky."
"You better get used to it, Kid. 'Cause someday, Jacob might be your brother-in-law," Paul said. He nodded at my brother who pretended to puke.
"Eww..." I shuddered, too.
"Oh, don't act like you don't love it," Kim smiled slyly at me and winked. I flashed my eyes at her. She was the only one that I had trusted with the secret of my teeny tiny crush on Jacob Black.
Yeah. I said it. I said it. I have a schoolgirl crush on Jake.
Lord, just take me now.
I scowled again, playing off the small exchange of facial expressions. I kicked her leg under the table, but it turned out to be Jared's.
"Dammit! Oww, Kimmy, that hurts," he whined.
"What?"
"You kicked me!"
"No I didn't." She glanced at me and I kicked Jared again, smiling smugly at her.
"For real, KC," Jared whined. "When did you get so strong?"
"It's not me, I swear!" She looked at me again. "Okay! Okay, I shouldn't have said anything. Are you happy now?" she looked at me and crossed her arms. I crossed my own and smiled smugly again.
"Yeah, a little bit." She flicked me off and I giggled.
"Ooh, Kimmy. Keep it clean," Quil joked. She laughed and the conversation picked up again. Thankfully, it wasn't about me or Jacob.
I picked at my food some more, finding myself thinking about him. I realized that I wanted to know where he was, no matter how hard I tried to shake the thought off. He had looked so sad, and he hadn't wanted my comfort last week at the funeral. I was just trying to show my support. I knew what it felt like to lose a parent.
I glanced at Seth. He looked so much like Daddy. Especially when he smiled.
"Leah? You done tenderizing your meat?" Embry raised an eyebrow and smirked. My fork stood poised over my chicken, and I realized that I had ripped it to shreds.
"Oh, uh..." I put down my fork and slid my plate to the middle of the table. "Free food. Don't kill each other." Leaving them to try and distribute the food to themselves, I got up and left the house. Out the back patio; the same way that he'd gone.
I followed his scent, walking deep into the forest. I picked up my pace because it had started to rain. I weaved in and out of trees and through clearings. Finally, the scent got a little stronger and I could smell the faint metallic scent of blood. Blood?
I broke off into a run. Either it was a leech or Jacob was being downright stupid. In this case, I hoped it wasn't the latter. I stopped when I saw him sitting on an old tree stump.
"Jacob?" I called. I walked a little closer.
"Go away, Leah," he muttered. I crossed my arms.
"No."
"Yes! Go!"
"I'm not leaving this spot, Jacob," I said, stamping my foot for emphasis. He turned to me and stared.
"Fine. Don't move. What do you want?"
"I'm...Worried about you. You barely eat or do anything. I'm actually starting to miss you." I clapped my hands to my mouth after I'd said it. Jacob knitted his brows together and I removed my hands with a sigh. "It's just...Weird. It's quiet. Usually, the house is always filled with our epic arguments. Now...It feels kind of empty." I rolled my eyes to the ground, crossing my arms.
"Sorry, I guess. There's just...A lot going on," Jacob answered. I looked up at him, noticing that he rubbed the top of his head and growled.
"Do you have a headache? I heard Tylenol works amazing." That was my attempt at a joke to try and lighten the mood. He didn't laugh. No chuckles. Not even a smile.
"Yeah. Whatever. I'm out," he murmured. He walked past me and headed in the direction of his house. I sighed again and went to my own.
There was something more wrong with him other than the fact that he'd just lost his mother to one of the most tragic accidents in the history of tragic accidents. Something...More. I didn't know what, but the thought was scaring me a little.
Me? Scared?
Psh. Yeah. Right.
Jacob's P.o.V.
Why Sam insists that I come over for a Pack meeting will never cease to amaze me. I didn't want to go, but Dad's making me.
Can't disobey the Chief of La Push.
It's just...I wanted to be alone.
But you're not. I'm here, too.
Shut. Up.
There was this stupid, creepy voice nagging at me and talking to me in the back of my head. I felt crazy, because sometimes I found myself talking back to it.
That's the point.
"What'd I tell you?" I whispered hoarsely.
"What'd you tell who?" Seth looked at me and grinned.
"Huh? Oh, nothing. Just...Never mind."
Yeah. Shut up, Jacob.
I resisted the urge to growl.
"Hey, Jake, I made muffins! You want one?" Emily held some out to me.
Good. Take one. Then you can choke yourself with it.
What? Shut up! I shook my head.
"No. It's okay, Em." I did my best to smile at her and she sighed and walked away. The guys all stole glances at me and I sighed gruffly. I stood up and headed to the bathroom.
Closing the door behind me, I stared at my half dead reflection in the mirror. I splashed water into my face.
Drown yourself. Go on. You can do it.
No, I won't.
Yes. You will. It's easy.
I started plugging up the sink.
See? That's it...
I stopped. I'm not going to die. Get out of my head! Please! I can't take this anymore? This stupid voice had been in my head ever since the accident. It had overstayed its welcome. Now. Go!
I'm not going anywhere, Jacob.
Who are you?
You know who I am.
No I don't.
Shall I refresh your memory? Jakey...?
"M-mom?" I stared into the mirror at her beautiful face.
Yes, my baby boy. Look at that water. It's filled up. Now it's overflowing. All you have to do is hold your head under there. Easy. Then we'll be together.
"No. She wouldn't want this."
Don't you mean I wouldn't want this? Me?
"No, because you're not my mom."
Yes, I am. Don't you-
"Shut up."
You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Now go under!
"Shut up."
Do it! Do it! Go, Jacob! Hold your head under that water and die!
"SHUT UP!" I finally yelled. My hands flew up to my head and I pressed hard on it as if it'd explode at any second. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!" I repeated over and over again. I fell crouched down onto the wet floor and sat there with my hands over my head for a while. "Shut up," I was still whispering. The voice was like an echo in my head that never seemed to end.
Hold your head under that water and die! It repeated.
"Shut up," I whimpered. I wasn't going to die. Mom wouldn't have wanted that.
I didn't move, even when there was a quiet knock on the door. The water was still running and now the floor was soaked. The bottoms of my jeans started getting wet but I didn't care.
"Jake...?" Seth asked slowly. "Are you okay?" I didn't answer. The echo was still going off like I was a giant, cavernous mountain. It never seemed to stop.
"Shut up. Please?" I whimpered again. I pressed even harder on my head. The door banged open but I still didn't move.
"Uhh...Nice pool party you got goin' on in here," Embry joked. He turned off the water, slipping a little on the floor. "Dude, are you okay?"
"Shut up," I whispered.
"What?"
I growled and buried my head deeper into my body. The echo was getting louder and it didn't stop. Now it was just the last word and it was like an annoying bell chime.
Die!
"Shut up," I whimpered again. I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes but I willed them to stay away.
"Who are you talking to?"
Die!
The chimes didn't stop, and it started to ring in my ears, making me oblivious to the sounds around me. I looked up and saw Embry yelling my name, but only his mouth was moving. There was no sound coming out. He shook me and that's when things moved to slow motion. Sam ran in and he skidded across the floor before landing beside me. He mouthed my name, too.
The only word I heard was die. But even that simple little word blurred together into a series of bells in my ears. My head started to pound and I felt dizzy. Now the room was moving. I felt myself falling to the side but someone caught me. They picked me back up. Sam had one of his hands wrapped around my face and he was shaking it, and he seemed to be yelling at me.
Suddenly it was hard to breathe. I felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest and it was getting a real kick out of seeing me struggle for air. Sam shook me some more and his mouth continued moving. I felt myself reach up and push him away, and saw my arm in my view. There were about three of them and they all moved around. The whole room was moving. I stood, still gasping for air, and then slipped again.
I tried to say something, but nothing came out. Well, I don't think anything did. If I had said something, I didn't hear it. The ringing only got louder and the room moved more. But the ringing was now joined by my pounding blood vessels in my ears. It didn't seem to stop.
Bump. Bump-bump. Bump.
BRINNNNGGGG! BRINNNNNGGG!
Stop! Just stop!
And it did.
