TO SAY THE LEAST
CHAPTER 01:
It would have been a great understatement to say that it has been a tough three months for Kate Beckett.
Montgomery was gone, taken from her by the same demons that haunt her past as well as her present.
Then she gets shot at his funeral.
She likes to think that everything that happened is reason enough for her to hole herself up in her father's cabin. She was, after all, in recovery. And she's one to recover alone. Showing weakness, even ones entitled to any human being after getting shot, is not one of her strong suits. Yet she also knows for a fact that her time is almost up. She has a family to go back to, a job, an unsolved case and an unsettled score.
Just thinking about it puts an uncomfortable feeling at the pit of her stomach.
It's not that she does not want to go back. But the solace of the cabin and all the time that she had to herself while in recovery makes her feel jittery about facing everything again. Everyone.
I love you, Kate.
Castle.
She wonders how he is doing, how everyone is, really. She hasn't called anyone in her absence. She has barely had the time or the presence of mind to think past the events that has just upturned her life, least of all the implications of his words. She's not ready for that reality, but the least she could do was to show up again. To stand up and dust herself off after this fall like all those before it.
She's still Kate Beckett after all, and she never goes down without a fight.
Like the past ninety or so days, Richard Castle gets out of bed early and starts to function in what seems to be a robotic manner.
Autopilot.
In earlier days, he might opt to stay in bed until noon or until he cannot quite ignore the shrill ringing of his phone caused by either his publisher or his partner. But these days, sleeping does not quite appeal so much to Rick. It may be caused by the recent upheaval of his personal and professional relationship with his muse, or the occasional terrors that have started plaguing his sleep since that shot rang out in the cemetery.
So now he gets up as soon as he deems it decent enough for a normal person to be awake. He's also added a significant amount of coffee to his diet. Even more so than before.
To look on the bright side, at least he actually has something to distract him today, if you could call it that. He doesn't look forward to his signings the same way he did before. Of course, there is still a certain joy to meet the people who actually love his books enough to fall in line and have it signed by him personally. But the thrill that he gets from meeting all those⦠women, does not retain that same kick. That was the time before everything happened. But he does not think that it would do him well to dwell on that right now.
Rick arrived at the venue on the dot. He was currently being briefed by Paula regarding some minor details. Considering this was probably the hundredth of these things that he has attended, he was really well-versed on how it works, but still he nods along as she prattles on to avoid physical injury.
The preliminaries pass on in a blur, the next thing he knows he's signing one book after another, making small talk and smiling.
Another of his hard covers makes it into his hands. He opens it without looking up.
"Kate. You can make it out to Kate."
The world stops. His heart lodges into his throat. He swallows as he slowly lifts his head up.
It's her. Really her.
A million things that he wanted to say floods into his mind, but his tongue holds itself. Here is not the time nor place. He carefully schools his features and looks back down at his book, scribbling in a very impersonal note. That is, considering the things that he was very tempted to say to her then.
Rick looks up to hand her the book, but cautiously avoids her eyes.
She gets the picture.
He moves on to the next person.
Kate waits for him outside. She knows he did not want to say anything to her in front of all those people. She knows it's not a conversation fit for anyone else to hear but them.
So she waits.
She was startled to suddenly find him walking past her.
"Castle, wait."
He keeps walking. A lump forms in her throat but she tries again. Slightly jogging after his long strides.
"Castle. I know you're angry."
He keeps walking.
"You're damn right I'm angry. I waited for you. It's been three months, Beckett."
He stops yet doesn't look at her, and somehow her last name sounded like a slap. She falters for a bit, her mouth opening and closing without sound.
Several people walk past them on the sidewalk.
She blinks. "Look, I said I needed time."
He turns.
She almost wished he didn't. His eyes are stormy, his face weary. The smile he was wearing the whole afternoon has left none of its traces.
Maybe it would not sting so much if there was a little more emotion there other than detachment, but there's nothing but the fine line of his lips and the tense set of his jaw.
"You said a few days."
"I needed more."
"Well then you should have said that."
He shifts, as if to start moving away. She panics.
"Look Castle, I couldn't call you. Okay? Not without dragging myself through everything that I've just been trying to get some space from. I needed some time to work through everything."
He sighs, hands in his pockets, looking down at his shoes, a piece of hair falling on his forehead.
"You don't need to explain anything to me anymore, Beckett. I get it. I'm sure you have also heard from Espo and Ryan regarding the new rules in the precinct. You don't have to worry about anyone feeling awkward. Maybe we all needed the time."
There's something in his words that Kate cannot put a finger on, but he looks down at his watch before she can ask.
"Look, I have to meet Alexis for dinner. Maybe we can talk some other time. Thank you for coming to see me today. I hope you enjoy the book. Goodbye, Kate."
She doesn't even have the time to process his words. Or the fact that he finally called her by her name. Or why it all sounded so final, before he turned around and walked away.
