Harry Potter had never been considered a normal and happy child, for the first 11 years of his life he had almost assumed the identity of the "Freak" as his dear relatives referred to him as, but that all changed when he had been accepted into Hogwarts, a magical school for witches and wizards like himself. He thought that would be his escape and he would be happy there, but it seemed like fate really liked to pick on him. Sure there were some good times but recently it seemed the bad was far outweighing the good as he had just lost the closest thing he had to a father only about a month ago. Then to even further burden him his esteemed headmaster Albus "my shit don't stink' Dumbledore, grand schemer and manipulator of all, decided that he should hear about a prophecy that should of been told him to long ago instead of right after his godfather died.
So now here our hero sits in a tiny room at #4 privet drive wishing that his life would just stop becoming harder and harder to bear. His thoughts had been drifting more and more to negative thoughts of suicide or just walking up to Voldemort and spitting on him and letting nature take its course, since the prophecy did ultimately mean that only Voldemort could kill him.
His depressive thoughts however were interrupted as a gentle knocking came from his door. Harry was puzzled as he walked over to it. He knew it wasn't his uncle or cousin since they wouldn't bother with knocking and would of just shouted at him to come to them. It also couldn't of been his Aunt since she usually pounded on his door while yelling his name. So with a little trepidation he opened the door only to find a spiky pink haired auror smiling at him but that smile soon falted as she looked at Harry's face which was being becoming more and more angrier as each second passed. Finally he seemed to notice nobody had said anything for about a minute he let out gruffly, "What are you doing here Tonks?"
Tonks was surprised at the depressed and angry tone he had used and took a little moment to collect herself, "Wotcher Harry, I was just on guard duty and wanted to check up on you." Harry's face further surprised her as he let out a snarl and his face turned into one of complete malice and hate.
"What are you doing here? Dumbledore isn't happy just sticking me in this hellhole now he needs to make sure I stay put?" Harry spat at Tonks when she had told him that she had been on guard duty.
"Why would Dumbledore send me over to make sure you stay put? I mean granted this place isn't the Shangri-La but I didn't know that he was planning on forcing you to stay here." Tonks was confused all she had done was come up to see how Harry was doing, after the night at the Ministry she hadn't been herself lately and knew that Harry would be just as bad if not worse then she was.
"So what are you doing here then?" Harry asked a little shyly he didn't want to be mad at Tonks when he knew she wasn't there on Dumbledore's orders.
"Well I came by to see how you were doing? I know the ministry was a terrible night and I miss Sirius as well I just wanted you to know that if you ever want to talk I am more then willing." Tonks said while only admitting half of the reason she was there, she thought back to when she had last talked to Sirius which had been a week before the incident in the ministry.
-FLASHBACK-
They were sitting in the kitchen enjoying a butterbeer remembering old times. Sirius had just finished telling her how Harry had saved him from Azkaban a tale that she knew he loved to tell every time he got the chance to show how proud he was of his godson. She had learned a lot more about Harry due to Sirius she always secretly loved hearing about him she marveled at how he could be so normal after everything he had been put through. Sure he was a bit temperamental but she knew if it all of it had happened to her she would of ran away or would of undoubtedly turned evil, but there was Harry standing up to the most feared wizard out there and dueling with him. It was during one of these moments of thinking about Harry that Sirius had to speak.
"You like him don't ya Nymphie?" Sirius asked using her nickname he knew she hated.
"Don't call me by any form of that name Sirius you might be family but that only protects you so far," Tonks replied angrily, "and who are you talking about?"
"Harry of course," Sirius said as if it were publicly known, "I see the way you looked at him especially over Christmas you could hardly stop looking if I didn't know you were so clumsy before I would of attributed that to your looking as well." Sirius chided while dodging a misplaced kick coming from Tonks.
"WHAT!?" Tonks almost yelled, " He is 6 years younger then me Sirius you know that couldn't work out." With this Sirius let out a bark of laughter watching as Tonks grew more furious at Sirius's question as he continued to laugh. "May I ask before I hex you into oblivion what is so damn funny?"
Sirius tried to suppress a grin but failed miserably, "Well you basically answered my question with a resounding yes. You only said that he was 6 years younger then you not that you don't like him or you never thought about him that way." He said smugly evaluating his cousin in front of him as her hair began to change wildly as she tried to control her emotions.
She was just about to tell Sirius there was no way it could happen but Sirius held up his hand cutting her off, "You can argue with me if you want hell I think it will be a blast but I am not saying you liking him is a bad thing, all I would suggest is you make sure you know the real Harry before you try anything, he has big problems with trust but with his past can you blame him. Just promise me you will get to know him before you do anything drastic and be your usual flirty self I think you would scare the boy to death." Sirius had let out a bark of laughter imagining Harry being embarrassed because of his over flirty cousin.
Tonks immediately dropped the subject not wanting to even explore the possibilities of her and Harry together, but after that night that thought kept creeping into her head more and more and she had planned on at least seeing where things went during the summer but after Sirius's death she was unsure if she should continue. That was until Dumbledore had set her up as Guard duty on Harry's house. Now with the constant ability to be by him she had decided to let things run their course while not expecting to great of an outcome. She had decided to finally talk to Harry if anything just to be able to speak about Sirius's death she didn't want to admit how hard it had hit her and she was still unsure of why Harry had even gone there in the first place. Her thoughts were interrupted as Harry slumped back into his bed staring at the ceiling as if hoping it would just come down and end it all.
"Harry I know how you are feeling, I miss him as well but you can't just sit around being depressed about it. Do you think he would of wanted that, I don't know why you were at the ministry that night but I do know that Sirius died the way he had always wanted to. He died protecting you." She tried to make him understand as she could physically feel the grief rolling off him in waves as he sat staring unblinkingly towards the ceiling.
"It doesn't matter," a raspy voice answered her, "It's my fault he's dead, I shouldn't of gone if I just wasn't so stupid enough to realize it might have been a trap I wouldn't of gone. I wouldn't of gotten all of you hurt, I wouldn't have gotten Sirius killed." He spoke the last sentence in barely a whisper.
"Harry what trap, Dumbledore only told us we had to go to the ministry because you went there he wouldn't say why he just told us we had to get you and bring you back." Tonks was really confused now, she knew that Dumbledore kept certain things from everyone but it was usually because of good reasons but lately she had been judging just how good his intentions are especially after seeing where he had condemned Harry to live for his childhood.
Harry eyed Tonks glaringly trying to determine if she still was here on Dumbledore's orders or as she had told him. He saw the confusion behind Tonk's now purple eyes as she watched him and decided on being truthful at least to an extent, he knew some truths that were just to much to be dealt with right now.
"Voldemort," he started as Tonks jumped slightly but he continued on after a sigh, "had realized that he could control the images that were sent to my mind after the incident with Mr. Weasley. He had sent me an image during a History of Magic OWL test showing me him torturing Sirius in the department of mysteries. I knew it was there because I had been having continuous dreams of walking down the corridor so I knew where it was. I assumed," he said sardonically, "that it was the same as Mr. Weasley and I had to go and help, Hermione made me check in with the floo service and Kreacher had told us that Sirius wasn't there or coming back. After that Umbridge had tried to get me to tell her all of my secrets even had Snape try to give me veritaserum which he said he was out of. I told him cryptically that Sirius was in trouble but he didn't care after he had left, Umbridge had tried to torture me to tell her but Hermione had convinced her to go out in the forbidden forest to try to get the weapon that she was assured by her was out there. Well we finally got there riding the Hogwarts Threstrals, I tried to stop the others from going but they wouldn't listen and I knew we needed to get there as soon as possible. We made it into the hall of prophecies only to find the group of death eaters waiting for us. They had wanted the prophecy to bring to their idiot of a master. We ended up fighting them through the different rooms and ended up in the room with the veil and well you know the rest." Harry had curled himself into a ball as silent tears streamed down his cheeks trying to block out the images of Sirius falling through the veil. "I didn't know it was a trap but because of my stupidity and what Hermione has labeled my saving people thing I walked right into the hands of Voldemort and lost the one person who gave a shit about me." Harry turned away from her ashamed of himself. She couldn't bare seeing Harry like this so instinctively she went over and pulled Harry to her not sure what it would accomplish.
Harry felt her hands wrap around his back and he couldn't control it anymore, all the pain, the worry, the damn prophecy, he grabbed Tonks tightly as he cried on her shoulder unable to stand it anymore as Tonks rocked him back and forth trying to soothe him. "Harry its ok, I'm here and I can stay here as long as you want me to, I didn't know what you were going through I really didn't, but after hearing that don't you see it still wasn't your fault. How could you of known you tried to verify it but you were told that he was gone, your saving people thing is what makes you who you are, never try to change that Harry its one of your best qualities. You knew he was in danger and of course you went there only somebody with no emotions wouldn't of gone after him." she hoped that what she was saying was helping him. His cries did slowly die down but he held onto her as if he let go she would disapear. Secretly she rather liked this situation not the Harry crying but her arms wrapped around him felt rather nice.
Harry becoming aware that he was still holding onto Tonks immediately released after his crying and tried to hide the blush on his cheeks and he scooted away from her. "Why am I so embarrassed I mean its just Tonks, she is just a friend who happens to be incredibly hot and has never looked at me as the boy who lived or some stupid celebrity. She treats me just as Harry Potter normal kid even though normal has never been used to describe me but its what I want most out of life." He regained control over his blush but not before he could see a glint in the young aurors eyes.
"Oh shite! What did I do? Why is she looking at me like that? She really does look good. Stop it its Tonks why would she ever want you, you're a marked man either murderer or murdered no girl would want that. And besides your scrawny, awkward, and seem to be a bad kisser at least according to Cho." Harry was getting worried now he knew he had thoughts about Tonks before but passed them off as a silly crush I mean how could he not have a crush. Everytime he had seen her she seemed so full of life and excitement never wanting to get depressed he had admired that fact about her as well. He knew he had to say something she had still kept on looking at him with that same look he couldn't call it a bad look in fact it made him feel rather content but he knew he had to stop it. "Well, ummm, thanks Tonks for uh coming by, I am sorry I cried like that I didn't mean to use you for that or anything." He stumbled through each of these words while noticing a slight smile come across Tonk's face.
"Sure Harry anything for you," she stopped suddenly realizing the implications of what she just said. Harry didn't seem to notice as slight relief came through Tonks. "Close one there I can't come on to strong here the kid wait that isn't right he isn't a kid. Harry needs to have support here not some clumsy girl fawning all over him."
"Well Harry I should probably get going unless you wanted to talk some more," Tonks tried to remain neutral while saying this but finding it hard as she wanted to talk to him but was afraid that he wouldn't. She made to get up from the bed but a hand had stopped her as he reached out and grabbed her arm. "Please don't go Tonks it's the first time I have spoken to anybody in 3 weeks." She looked into his emerald eyes and saw the grief and also the wanting of somebody to be by him. She felt happy that Harry wanted her there even if just to talk.
"Sure thing let me just get a bit more comfortable here," She smiled settling herself back into his bed turning around to face him and noticing that she was less then a couple of inches away from his face. "well comfy?"
"umm sure," Harry managed a weak reply while noting this was the first time a girl had been in his bed before and noticing how close Tonks was to him. He wasn't even really afraid it was just unusual he noticed that with Tonks things seemed a bit calmer again unsure of what to make of this realization he ignored it.
They spent hours talking like this about Tonk's past life of her always being asked to change for other people most especially past boyfriends, she revealed she hadn't had one in years due to that fact that nobody wanted to just get to know her they just wanted somebody to play with. Harry found himself telling her all about his different adventures even the fears of things he hadn't even revealed to his friends. Before either of them realized it was past midnight and Tonk's needed to go because she had to check in but promised him she would be back later that day.
After she left Harry found himself falling asleep almost immediately and for the first night since Sirius had died he didn't find himself dreaming about him. Instead his dreams were filled with a cute little auror that seemed to be able to calm the storm in his mind.
AN- Well this is the first chapter have about ten more done already so it will be updated often. Review if you like it, Flame me if you don't but at least have some constructive criticism if you are going to bash me. Well until next chapter
