Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of the characters ______________________________________________________________________

Some where in Spira, deep in the bowels of no where there was a lost sphere containing a (temperamental) conversation between Auron and Jecht concerning the here after . Lord Braska had made the atrocious mistake of telling Jecht about the Farplan. Jecht, being the faithless drunk that he was, said that there was no such place.

This of course drove Auron (because at the time had a sever case of Mr. Know-It-allism) to drill into Jecht's head that Farplan was real.

But even after both Braska and Auron had explained to him that those little glowing floating had to go somewhere Jecht remained stubborn. And like most alcoholics got highly arguementive when no one would agree with him.

Auron (who by this point had drawn his sword) said that if he didn't believe in the Farplan he be more than happy to take him there.

Before anyone had to be sent to the hospital, Lord Braska had broken things up. As well as made a mental note of never trying to explain spiritual matters to Jecht again.

But time heals all wounds or at least can causes severe memory laps. So perhaps that is why Auron was happy to be seeing Braska as well as Jecht again.

Now, the entrance to the Farplan mimicked that of an airport, without the hassle of luggage pick up, but never the less twice the confusion. When Auron arrived he expected to greet both of his old friends arms wide open, instead he found himself in the middle of a sea of people who were lost and confused.

His first (un)pleasant surprise.

His instances told him to go seek out the old man with the long white beard. He looked wise. Than again, perhaps it was the fact that the old man was the person who was pinned against the wall and was being yelled at by every one demanding an explanation.

As Auron headed towards him to join the mob he heard a woman's voice yell out his name over the commotion.

"Auron!"

He looked up thoughtfully and tried to seek out the voice.

" Auron save him! Hit the button on your left."

Auron, who assumed the person the woman was asking him to safe was the old fart who was being bum-rushed, did as he was instructed. Immediately a sign flashed on over head that was accompanied by a soothing non-threatening voice.

"Congratulations you have been liberated from the pain, heartache, and over all trials and tribulations of life and are now dead. WELCOME! This is the Farplan. Please, in an orderly fashion meet your friends and family members at the waiting gate. If you are still confused, please wait for one of our assistants to come to you and guide you. Feel free to look around, after all you have an eternity..

Stories From The FarPlan Episode I : No Need For Old Times

" I really want to thank you again, for saving that guy back there " the attendant said for the hundreds time.

" Don't mention it." Auron didn't mind coming to the rescue of anyone in need. It had been the code of the Warrior Monks to be honorable, noble, and stoic to help all those who were in need. Which is the same attitude that got him stuck babysitting for ten years.

The woman who addressed Auron name was Nora, or at least that's what he came to conclude after reading her nametag. She wore one of those long white rob that was partially covered by an equally long blue coat with gold out lining; the kind of outfit that those dopey high priests seem to adore back on Spira. Auron took it that fashion wasn't too important up here, which suited him just fine, he was never to keen on formal wear.

" I'm so sorry about this mess, a great guardian such as your self would have received a five star introduction, but the computers are down" she choked out in her most apologetic voice.

Auron had been in the Farplan waiting area all of twenty minutes and already was getting annoyed by Nora's constant babbling about apologies, so he decided to change the subject to shut her up.

" You said that man back there was a Maester..Maester Halio?" He narrowed his eyes, now where had he heard that name before?

" Yes Maester Halio, he was one of the first Maester and as part of his punishment-"

" Maester are reprimanded here" Auron interrupted looking visible shocked.

A smile extended on Nora's face " oh yes. You see unlike the lower officials and people of Sipra the Maesters knew the true face of Yevon, but kept the deception going even after they knew Summoner after Summoner and their guardians would have to be sacrificed. So as proper punishment we give them the most demeaning task to attend to for eternity."

Auron snickered "so then tell me, what are Seymour and Mika doing?"

" Their both sorting and greeting attendants at the fiend pyreflies entrance of the Farplan"

Auron snorted "doesn't sound that awful."

Nora's smiled darkened " If you think this morning up here was bad; picture it down there all the same confusion except with monster, who are equipped with claws, razor-sharp teeth and black magic."

Auron thought for a moment than raised his eyebrow and smirked "I see your point."

"If you want, I could arange for you to take a tour down there and watch them suffer" Nora offered happily.

"No thank you. I would really just like to meet with Lord Braska and Jecht now." Auron fought the strong urge to accept the attendants offer. The desire to watch his least favorite blue hair mutt and withered-away sneaky- eyed old bastard get tortured tugged at his heart fiercely, but he wouldn't submit. That little trip would be saved as the first group activity once the famous trio was reunited.

" Very well than." The woman's hands, which had been folded neatly the entire conversation, suddenly became undone as her right hand disappeared under her desk and reemerged with a booklet, a rather thick booklet.

Auron's mouth broke into a frown. He was a lover of books, in his younger days he sported quiet the collection, but even in his divine passion for reading he sneered down on booklets. They were filled with half indecipherable information and instructions so vague that they border lined cryptic. Booklets were the tool of the devil or at least Yu Yevon (who one could intrepid as the devil.) He knew he probably shouldn't have bothered to ask, but he did any way. " What's that's for" he said flatly.

" It's just a little How-to-Guide of the Farplan. You'll find a map in there as well" Nora replied polite (annoying) as ever.

Auron ignored the attendant's out stretched hand. " Is there a way I could receive transportation?"

" I'm sorry Sir but the comput-"

" Well is there at least a way I can contact Lord Braska or Jecht so we could have a place where we could meet?"

" No. "

" Why? "

" Because the computers control the main communication processing unit as well."

As a monk and guardian Auron had nearly perfected his ability to hide his emotions, yet he could bearly keep his pose as he snatched the pastel colored piece of trash from the attendant's hand.

***

Three hours, five wrong turns and 145 swears later Auron was at the door step of what he was lead to believed to be Lord Braska's place of residents. When he knocked on the door and saw it was not Lord Braska he could have cut the innocent bystander in two out of frustration (and he probably would have too if the man hadn't been sensed his tension and given Auron new directions.) He should have known not to take instructions from one of those rat-faced dirty looking Guado's. Come to think of it the entire race of Guados resembled gruffy alcoholics who in desperation had mated with sea otters.

Auron relieved some tension at the thought of some old bum soliciting the poor mammal for relations and chuckled.

" What's so funny? I want to laugh" a calm voice said smoothly.

" Yeah it's got to be funny to make that stiff laugh."

'Stiff?' Only one person had the gull to say that to his face (or in this case the back of his head.)

" Jecht! Braska!" Auron adorned a smile that he hadn't worn in years. He wished nothing more than to give them both a swooping hug, but he thought against it. There was no way he was giving Jecht ammunition to shoot his masculinity with later. So he settled with a firm grip on both of their shoulders. " It's good to see you again."
***

Now that old friends were reunited it was time to talk, well walk and talk seeing how Jecht had just gotten there himself and wanted a look around. Speaking of which-

" Jecht how was it that I didn't see you at the entrance or the lobby" Auron asked.

" I died before you did, you should know that. You killed me." Jecht replied nonchalantly.

"Yes but only by a few minutes" Auron said. He remembered how he felt like kicking himself for going up against Yunalesca after he found out how easy it was to kill Yu Yevon.

"Things work fast here: Ya die, ya go to the gate and have a look around."

Auron abruptly stopped walking. " Things don't move that fast. The computers were down today and the whole entry lobby was in a state of panic" Auron said suspiciously.

"The hell Auron I said I was there, so I was there" Jecht flew up his arms in an attempt to act frustrated. He counted on Auron not wanting to argue. He counted wrong.

" If you were there than tell who was guidance attendant?" Auron snapped.

Braska, who delighted in Auron and Jecht's fights, had been content to stand on the sideline and smile during the situation. Any time when his friends got to bickering they were a two-man comedy routine. In fact he loved all of their fights, verbal or physical. The only time he didn't enjoy a good Auron VS. Jecht fight was when-

" Hey Braska would you tell this stiff I was there. So he'll chill out and stop giving me the third degree."

The only time Braska didn't enjoy their fights was when they pulled him into it and turned a one-on-one match into a three-way dance.

"Auron" Braska began in his usually calm lets-all-make-a-deal voice. He didn't want to make it seem like he was taking a side or things could really ugly.

"There's no need to make big deal out of anything. Jecht is here now and you, despite the set back of being lost are here, are you not? So let's try to.. get along" Braska finished sweetly hoping that the old days would repeat themselves and this would be enough to silence Auron.

Jecht started to laugh and got between Braska and Auron and draped his arms over their shoulders. " Yeah lets stop this fuss'en and be pals. After all you were only lost for three hours. "

Auron didn't respond to the show of affection instead he was taken aback. Jecht was never quick to end any argument especially when he thought he was right. Come to think of it how did Jecht know he had..Auron broke into another frown, almost a sneer. He roughly removed Jecht's arm from around his neck. "How did you know I was lost for three hours? I never told you I was lost for three hours."

Jecht shifted his weight from one foot to the other nervously. "I guessed?"

Auron narrowed his eye in realization at his (soon to be dead twice removed) friend. "You followed me, you watched me be lost?!"

Braska and Jecht exchanged glances, then both smiled weakly.

" Honestly.no harm.. was meant.. by it." Braska said fighting back the urge to bust out laughing.

" I knew it!" Auron exploded " I thought I heard some one laughing at me when I turned down Ultamitica Blv. the fourth time."

" Take it is easy Auron we were just having some fun." Jecht snicker as the vein in Auron's head started to pulsate.

Though both of his friends were to blame he focused in on Jecht seeing as how he liked him the least. " Damn brainless drunkard I should just-"

"Auron don't be that way. Come," Braska said motioning to the Pub across the street from where they were standing. "Let it be like old times."

Auron's anger broke and he began to laugh.

Braska sighed in relief and joined Auron in laughing as well did Jecht; who didn't see what was so funny but was eager to end the situation so he could get drunk.

Though neither High Summoner nor former guardian would have laughed had they notice the deceit in Auron's eye.

"You want old times," Auron said continuing to laugh. " I'll make it just like old times." Auron pulled back his fist about to knock out Jecht when. He heard and saw a familiar woman scream Jecht's name and come running up to him locking him in a long passionate kiss.

" Oh honey I so glade to see you again" the woman shrieked and bind Jecht in another emotional embrace.

"Isn't that wonderful" Braska put on one of his classic goofy smile.

Auron starred at the couple still confused. Who was this woman? He just knew he had seen her some where be-"

" Braska I like to introduce you to my wife Kolista." Jecht said beaming as if he were holding a champion ship cup. She was quiet the prize after all.

Auron's mouth dropped open; Kolista was vibrant, lovely, and full of life (for a dead person). She was an absolute vision. This was not the same woman he had meant back in Zanarkand ten years ago.

" Hello Auron, it's been a long time."

Auron just rose an eyebrow but didn't speak; he was still in shock at her transformation.

I know I look a little well.different from the last time you saw me." Kolista chimed cling to Jecht's waist

" Little different my ass. Last time I saw this woman she was a stringy- hair snot nose sniffling disaster, surrounded by a fort of Kleenex refusing to change out of her nightgown."

Auron kept his feelings to himself and managed to give a half way polite node.

Kolista turned her attention back to her husband, and with puppy dog eyes and asked "where were you? I must have waited an hour at the entry gate." She pouted than playfully slapped him on the chest. "There were so many rude people there today, what with all those die-hard Yevon believers committing suicide and all."

Braska shuddered. So that's why the lobby was so crowed with frantic Spirans today. He knew that once the cover was blown on that bogus religion the shit hit the fan.

Jecht chuckled to give himself the ample stalling time he needed to pump out a decent lie. " I didn't see you. So I went to look for you babe." He grinned up at his two friends for their confirmation to help sell the fabrication.

Braska smile and shook his head. He, being married himself, knew the importance of making a story believable; seeing as how one false word could land Jecht in Sofa City.

Auron on the other hand was not married, and had no sympathy towards the situation. In fact he saw this as the perfect time to get back at his so- called friend for his prier escapades.

" Yes, he looked so hard that he completely ignored the sign at the entry gate that stated: Wait For Your Family and Friends Here." Auron smiled sarcastically "and went strait to the Pub."

Kolista's sweet enchanting eyes morphed into a dark glare as she pushed away from her blitz-for-brains husband. " Honey" she said still smiling but gritting through her teeth. "What's Auron talking?" She made emphasized on her question by digging her nails into her beloved's side.

Jecht's eyes shot down to his wife "nothing" he squeaked out as the first real shot of pain rain through him.

Kolista became satisfied and dislodged her long sharp nails from her husband's tender flesh. Upon doing so Jecht regained his composure and snarled at Auron; something his wife managed to miss. Old Cyclops wanted to play dirty huh?

" Awww babe don't pay no attention to Auron" Jecht smirked. " He just likes to tease me because the last and only woman he was ever with was a ratty- hair red head Al Bhed woman with two tons of makeup on say'en: Now how am I charge'en ya, by the second or the minute."

Braska started laugh, until he remembered that his wife was Al Bhed. "Hey" he cried defensively.

That had done it, now Auron was pissed, but he recalled his monk training and took it in stride. His old master's words came into recollection:

"Auron my son, when in battle the fight cannot be won by just strength alone. You must be as cunning as the wolf and as swift as the fox.....oh yes and by the way . When in an insult contest exploit your opponent's greatest flaw. Than use it to crush him."

Auron smiled, he was going to enjoy this. " Well Jecht I expect you to say something like that. When it came to the ladies you were always a blond man yourself. I was really quiet shocked to see your wife was a brunette. I mean all the women that you ran around with were blonds." Auron pretended to go into state of surprise and flung his hand up over his mouth "opps! Didn't mean to say" he cooed.

Uh-oh, that did it, Jecht's bride flew into frenzy. Now Kolista was a bueaty and she loved her man to death, but the woman had a jealousy problem the size of Luca. After all Jecht had cheated on her what..ten..twelve times before and that was just when he was back in Zanarkand.

Auron laughed heartily as Jecht tried to calm down his enraged wife, but was only greeted by slaps and scratches.

" Naw baby! Now stop it, ya know it wasn't like. I would never cheat on you again." Jecht said, finally grasping a hold on Kolista's violently swaying arms.

" Of course not!" She spat "not after last time with Sara!"

"Mara" he corrected.

Kolista's cheeks burned a nasty red "Son of bitch! You remembered her name?!" In the heat of her angry she gained temporary super strength, she broke free of Jecht's grasp and kicked him full force in the shin.

Jecht let out a string of swears as he hopped up and down on one foot in serious pain. Kolista had surprising accuracy and hit perfect aim on an old Blitz Ball injury.

"You can just go on home with Mara or Sara or Terra or who ever other hoe you've been messing around with!" She was bluffing, if he actually every did full fledge leave her for any one, why she would just die.again. Never the less it didn't stop her from stumping off down the street and making a scene.

" Wait! Kolista! Please!" Jecht yelled. He went after her, limping all the way.

Both Auron and Braska were rolling with laughter by now as well as the audience that had accumulated on the sides of the street.

Just before he turned the curb Jecht whisked around, shook a fist high in the air and screamed " I'm gonna get you for this Auron! This isn't over." Then he limped out of sight.

Braska held his side, still unable to cease his laughter but managed to get out "you guys are going to make it interesting up her aren't you?"

Auron smirked a smirk of (temporary) victory. "Why it'll be just like old times."