Narrator: Shinigami Live

With host, Miru Dakusei!

And special guest, Kurosaki Ichigo!

Miru: -smirks- Welcome t' Shinigami Live, I'm yer host, Miru Dakusei! –mutters- But, Ojou-sama's prob'ly gonna take o'er, some time, later. An', no, she don' own BLEACH.

Ichigo: -blinks and stares- What the-?

Miru: Looks like our guest 'as fin'lly come 'round! –smiles innocently- Sooo…

Ichigo: Where am I?

Miru: -laughs- On set, live, o' Shinigami Live, stupid.

Random staff guy: Dakusei-sama, you can't berate the interviewee…

Miru: Oh, shut i', stupid ol' man… -glares-

Ichigo: Interviewee?

Miru: Yup! You're th' firs' special guest on Shinigami Live!

Ichigo: Oh, god, what's Goat-face got me signed up for, now?

Miru: Don' worry, Ichi, no' like yer gonna be here more 'n once.

Ichigo: I'm gonna kill Goat-face for this.

Miru: No' until I've gotten his interview done, ya don'. -sighs- le's ge' on wi' this, shall we?

Ichigo: Sooner the better…

Miru: So, why'd ya become a Shinigami, Ichi?

Ichigo: Which time? First or second?

Miru: Both! -grins happily-

Ichigo: Well, first time, it was because my family was getting attacked by a Hollow, and Rukia couldn't fight to save them, anymore.

Miru: Oooh, how sad… -giggles gleefully-

Ichigo: Ugh… Anyways… the second time was when Byakuya destroyed my powers, and I ended up going to Urahara for help. He nearly turned me into a Hollow, though… But I regained my powers, all to go to Soul Society to save Rukia. I got a lot stronger while I was there, too, and even attained Bankai in record time.

Miru: Ya don' like Hollows much, do ya? -gives cute pout-

Ichigo: Nope. And don't do that. It doesn't work with those evil eyes of yours…

Miru: -glares- What'd ya say 'bout ma eyes, Shinigami!?

Ichigo: They're evil. They're freakin' black and gold for god's sake! They're a Hollow's eyes!

Miru: Yer point bein', Shinigami?

Ichigo: I don't like them.

Miru: Ya better no' let Hichigo hear ya say tha', Shinigami. And wha's th' diff'rence, cuz I'm a Hollow, too…

Ichigo: -reaches for Zangetsu, only to find him missing- Okay, where's Zangetsu?

Miru: -points to corner of stage- Over there, with Ojou-sama's Ryuu, an' ma Abekobekitsune.

Ichigo: What the hell? Why do you have a Zanpakuto? I thought you said you were a Hollow.

Miru: I lied… Ojou-sama doesn' wan' dear ol' Sousuke-chan ta find out wha' his Primero Espada is…

Ichigo: P-p-p-primero… Espada? -cowers in fear-

Miru: Yup! Now, ge' back or I'll cero ya ass.

Ichigo: I shouldn't have gone along with this…

Miru: -somehow hears a non-existent bell- Well, tha's all the time for t'day! Stay tuned! Our next guest will be…