Disclaimer: Hello! I don't own Furuba. How are you?


A Quick Swim


"Moshi moshi?" Shigure said after he picked up the telephone. On the other end, he could hear rapid breathing, almost as if the caller was having a panic attack.

"Shigure," the voice panted, "it's Hatori. I need your advice."

For a moment, the dog almost burst out laughing. He soon realized, however, that Hatori was being serious. "Well, this is new," he said mildly.

"You haven't heard the half of it. You'd better sit down."

The writer found a spot on a nearby chair, whipping out a fan and lazily waving it at his face. "So, what's up?"

"I was just in the ocean a few minutes ago," Hatori said quickly, his voice uneven.

"Is that it?"

"Of course not!" He took a deep, calming breath and added, "I have a cold, so I tried to relax by taking a swim. Unfortunately, almost as soon as I got in, I transformed. I'm never taking Ayame's advice again."

"Well, to be honest, you should never have listened to him in the first place."

"Yes, that's true." He hesitated, then slowly continued. "It didn't take long… soon there were multiple sea dragons all around me, just saying hello, that sort of thing."

"Uh-huh."

"There was one female sea dragon there. She was… I'm not really sure how to say this… well, the way Kara put it—"

"Kara?"

"That was her name."

"The sea dragon's name?"

"Yes."

Shigure sniggered.

Hotly, Hatori said, "Stop it and let me finish!"

"Sorry, sorry, go on."

There was an audible sigh, but he started again. "She said she was lonely."

"Lonely? Don't tell me that—"

"Let me rephrase myself. Kara was telling me about her husband. More aptly, she was telling me about her lack thereof. Apparently, he was taken by a few scuba divers."

"Ouch."

"Yes; I also expressed my sympathies. She was telling me about her children as well—how she couldn't find another male sea dragon to bear the children and—"

"What do you mean, 'bear the children'?"

"Male sea dragons are the ones who give birth."

"Oh, right. Please continue."

"So she and I were talking… about things…."

"Yes?"

"…and, well, one thing led to another… so, uh… I'm…." He paused, then inhaled deeply and stuttered, "I'm… carryingsixtybabyseadragons."

"What's that?"

"I'm"—he choked on the word—"pregnant."

There was a pause.

A very quiet, very uncomfortable pause.

Then Shigure began laughing. Scratch that. He began convulsing with hysterics. "You… you… you…," he sputtered through fits. He was being so loud, he couldn't hear Hatori's teeth gritting on the other end.

"Stop it right now, Shigure, or—"

"This is a scientific breakthrough!" the dog interjected, falling off his chair dramatically.

"Get a hold of yourself!"

"You have to start some kind of medical journal! Who knows what kinds of discoveries you could make about—"

"Would you shut up?" the doctor finally shouted. He only succeeded in reducing Shigure's laughter to giggles, but it was enough for him to be heard. "There, that's better. Now—"

"I think that's called bestiality," the dog interrupted brightly.

"I didn't sleep with her!"

"Oh, right…. Well, that doesn't change the fact that this is still horribly wrong."

"Are you going to help me or should I hang up?"

"Sure, sure, of course I'll help. Anything for a friend." He paused for a moment, then grinned wickedly. "But only if you tell me what it was like. I want every juicy—"

Click.

Shigure began to laugh again, and Kyo happened to walk by.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" he said crossly.

"Oh, it's nothing, really," the dog said, wiping a tear from his eye. "Tori is just getting a little hormonal." He was still laughing as he walked away, leaving an extremely confused Kyo behind him.


And thus ends the ONLY story that makes sense as a male-preg. I had to write it.