10 Ways JK Better Not End Deathly Hallows

1. "Alas!" Voldemort cried as he dissolved into a messy puddle of goop. "Flobberworms! My greatest weakness!"

2. Voldemort was dead. Harry smiled. He had rid the world of evil! He had finally done it! He ran out into the street, celebrating. Life was good. Until he was promptly run over by the Knight Bus.

"What was that, Ernie?" asked Stan as he felt a bump in the road.

"Oh, I don't know, probably a squirrel," the driver replied.

Stan shook his head. "Bloody squirrels," he said as he went back to reading the paper.

3. Suddenly Hogwarts blew up. A dark figure stepped out of the shadows and sang, "Voldemort! Voldemort, oooo, Voldie, Voldie, Voldie VOLDEMORT!"

4. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

5. Voldemort finally had him cornered. He had finally won. Or so it would seem. "This is the end Potter!"

Jo sighed. "You know," she said. "I'm getting really sick of all this Harry Potter stuff. I think I'll go get a sandwich, and then call my editor and tell him to finish the bloody thing himself."

The new title: JK Rowling and the Unfinished Manuscript.

6. Harry laughed and put his arm around Ginny's shoulder.

"I still don't get it though, Harry," said Hermione.

"Yeah," added Ron. "Why exactly did you stop trying to defeat you-know-who?"

"Well, I told Neville that the prophecy was really referring to him, so he was destined to defeat Voldemort. And he bought it!"

7. "Where are you children?" asked Voldemort.

"We're over here!" called a high-pitched squeaky voice.

"Well, here I come." The Dark Lord began walking down the hallway.

"WAIT! We're over to the right a little bit."

Voldemort began walking towards the right. "Here?"

"That's it!"

"You're almost there!"

He stopped. "Here?"

"Perfect. All right guys, are you ready? SHOOT HIM!"

Harry, Ron, and Hermione jumped out of nowhere with big guns. There were several minutes of chaos before they ran out of ammo. When the smoke cleared, they saw Voldemort lay on the floor, motionless, finally defeated.

8. "It's over Potter!" the Dark Lord cried as he raised his wand. "Avada-"

Harry awoke with a start in his cupboard. The ten-year-old boy shook his head. "Wow, that dream was incredible. I even had dreams in my dream! And it was really long, I was seventeen when it finally ended!" And then he cheerfully went off to make breakfast for his aunt, uncle, and cousin.

9. And thus, the most evil wizard of all time was defeated by a single muggle who had used nothing but a paper clip, a can of cheese wiz, and several pink socks.

10. Harry accidentally dumped a bucket of water on Voldemort as he desperately tried to put out his new scarecrow friend, who had caught fire.

"Noooooooooo!" cried the Dark Lord as he began to smoke. "I'm mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllttttttttttttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggggggggg!"