Chapter 1

Zim slammed his door shut after a long day at skool. The Dib-monkey had not been as much of a problem today, but Zim was still angry, and confused.

"COMPUTER! Scan me for any Earthly diseases!" Zim screamed as he tore off his itchy contacts.

"Scanning."

A beam of blue light passed through Zim's body up and down.

"Diagnosis: Healthy." the computer stated.

"Impossible!" Zim yelled. "I feel STRANGE! Do it again!" Again, the beam of light scanned Zim, he mentally tried very hard to be as sick as he felt.

"Diagnosis: Healthy."

"YOU LIE! YOU MALFUNCTION!" Zim yelled again. "I feel STRANGE! The Dib-sister infected me with something! Perhaps I'm allergic to her… she makes my head feel… weird… She has invaded my thoughts and my very core!"

"OOOOOOOOO MASTER HAS A CRUSH!" GIR yelled, slamming to the floor in front of him from somewhere on the ceiling.

"A crush? My organs and bones are perfectly normal! There is no crushing!" Zim scoffed in disbelief.

"Master likes Gazzy!" GIR danced around Zim's legs. "Master likes Gazzy!"

"Likes? ZIM DESPISES ALL HUMANS! What is the meaning of your accusation?"

"You looooove her." GIR teased, ignoring his master's question.

"Loooove?" Zim tested the word. It sounded stupid.

"Computer! Search a definition for the word: loooove."

"Love: an intense feeling of deep affection."

"Oh that. Zim remembers love." Zim thought back to his short, painful and humiliating 'relationship' with Tak. Before she tried to take over Earth almost 6 years ago.

"There is no love here." Zim scoffed. True, the Gaz-human had filed his thoughts. But certainly that was normal. Certainly what he was feeling was not affection for the worm-baby. He was an Irken invader! There was no room for such an annoying concept. Zim climbed up onto his toilet chute elevator while GIR continued to bounce around the room singing "Master likes Gazzy." Zim sank down into his labs.

"Love. Hmm… 'Love'. Looooove." Zim played with the word again and again. "Ha! AN INSULTING ACCUSATION!" Zim reached his base lab and began working on his plans for Earth's demise. Again, Gaz filled his thoughts. Her sleek purple hair, her black clothes, the menacing glare she has when Zim gets too close.

Gaz… she had grown since Zim had been stationed on Earth 8 years ago, then again so had Zim, although he was shorter than his Mighty Tallest, he was taller than Gaz. She looked more like an adult human female than the other larva crawling around his skool. Her purple hair had become considerably long, her dark attire matured into black dresses, zippered pants and tank tops that revealed more skin than Zim had seen her in before.

It was strange seeing her skin. The pink fleshy layer repulsed Zim when he saw it on everyone else. Some had too much and it fell over there bodies in masses, some had too little and Zim could see their skeletal structure, some had brown spots and growths, but Gaz's skin looked flawless, although the strange color was still odd. He thought about her eyes, when he could see them, they were a pleasant amber color that reminded him of an eclipsing sun shining behind the Earth moon. Zim stopped. And looked at his plans. They might have well been blank. Every word was useless. Zim yelled in frustration, tore the papers from his desk and threw his pencil at a wall.

"Computer! Relay more details of this 'love' disease!"

"Love: deep emotional connection to another being or thing. Used by humans to find a significant mate."

"How does one…" The words caught in Zim's throat. "Catch love?" he groaned. Zim didn't want to believe it. But there had to be a reason he felt so strange. He might as well explore the idea. A screen lowered down in front of Zim. It showed a human girl and boy.

Both were ugly worm beasts.

They looked nervous and squeamish when near each other.

"Love can be caught by having a feeling of affection toward another being."

The human girl raised her leg and clasped her hands close to her face when looking at the human boy, who waved at the girl.

"When attraction has been formed, humans partake in 'courtship'." The human boy pulled a bunch of flowers from behind him and gave them to the girl who looked happy. "Gifts and compliments can be classified as courtship. It is used to show feelings and confirm whether feelings are mutual."

Then the boy and girl came close in an embrace. Zim thought whether he liked the idea of being so close to Gaz. He wasn't disgusted.

"And if… 'feelings' are not mutual?" Zim asked, intrigued.

"Possible continuation of courtship, if all attempts are denied then humans try with a different human until a 'match' is made. The screen showed the boy with several different girls until one stopped. Zim didn't like that. IF he did feel love for the Gaz girl, he would have her, and only her. The boy and girl came together again, only they pressed their faces together.

"What was that?" Zim asked.

"An action of affection known as a 'kiss'. Humans press their lips together as an intimate form of affection. Zim felt his mouth. Would that still work if he didn't have lips like the humans? Zim shook his head. He paced around his desk, eyeing the screen which played the scenes of this love disease over and over. The boy giving the flowers to the girl who embraced him, then kissed him. Zim smiled at the idea of the Gaz acting that way. Then, again, he stopped.

"How does this HAPPEN!" Zim finally yelled in frustration. "I AM A MIGHTY IRKEN INVADER! How does this-." He fought the word from leaving his mouth. "GIRL! have such an effect on ME!?" Zim turned and slammed his fists onto the table and thought. Long and hard. He could still hear GIR from the ground floor, still singing. "MASTER LIKES GAZZY! MASTER LIKES GAZZY!"

Meanwhile

Dib hid in the bushes, not even a block away from Zim's base, he had just gotten a new headset complete with microphone bugs, binoculars, and a camera with a recording option from a Mysterious Mysteries magazine. Now all he needed to do was catch even a second's glimpse of Zim without his disguise. It was harder to fit in the small bush than it had been when he was a kid, Dib had become a bean pole in his age and his scythe like hair style had gotten longer and thicker.

He focused the lenses as far as he could into Zim's house, through the window he could see the shadow of the little robot bouncing around the house. He couldn't use that footage. Zim would make up some dumb reason why he had a robot. The kids at skool still think he has a skin condition!

"Come on, Zim. Show yourself!" He whispered. Then Dib saw the robot stop and salute, he saw the faint glow of his red eyes. Zim was coming! Now was his chance! Then a squirrel ran into view and stared at Dib through the camera. The camera focused itself to look at the squirrel.

"No!" Dib shooed the squirrel away and focused back into Zim's house. By the time the camera had a clear image of him, he had his disguise back on. Dib sighed, took off his headset, and saw the same squirrel still staring him down a few feet away. Dib picked up the nearest rock and threw it at the squirrel who ran away, it made a clattering sound as it skittered across the sidewalk on the other side of the street. Then he heard the door, Zim's door. He ducked under the bush again and hoped Zim hadn't seen him. He put his headset back on and looked at Zim, he was holding a bouquet of dandelions and other, random leaves.

What the hell is he doing with that? Dib thought. Zim held them behind his back and strutted off down the sidewalk, still unaware Dib was watching. He trailed him somewhat close behind. Ducking under bushes, behind trees and signs, still unseen. Eventually Dib followed Zim back to his own house.

What's he doing?

Dib got out from behind a sign, taking off his headset as Zim rang the doorbell with his flowers.

"Hey!" He called.

"I'm busy Dib-stink." Zim said, not acknowledging him.

"Busy? With what?" Dib walked up behind Zim and spun him around. He looked at the messy bouquet. "What's with the weeds?"

Again, Zim spun around, and rang the doorbell. "I'm busy." He repeated. His PAK opened up and his metal legs picked up Dib and pushed him away.

"I'm attempting courtship with the Gaz-human."

Dib's jaw dropped. Courtship? With Gaz?

Zim?! With MY sister?

Dib ran at Zim and smashed the dandelions into the ground.

"Get out of here!" Dib yelled. Zim, trying his best to ignore the big headed worm baby, bent down to pick up the flowers he had picked for Gaz.

"I am not leaving until I have 'courted' the Gaz." Zim could only grab a few of the flowers before Dib angrily smacked them again. This was starting to get annoying, and Zim didn't want to break his 'crush's' brother.

"You're not doing ANYTHING with my sister! Now get out of here!" Dib matched Zim's glare. He again picked up a few of the flowers just as the front door opened. Gaz hung on the door, clearly bored of both of them. She had already changed into something more comfortable since coming home from skool, she wore a solid black t-shirt and purple striped shorts and her long purple hair was tied in a ponytail.

"What is it Zim?" She asked annoyed. Zim thrust his hand, half-full of smashed flowers, at Gaz. Still glaring at Dib, he gave her the ruined bouquet and stomped away. Gaz stood there with broken flowers, confused, and watched Zim go. Dib came into the house, fuming, and slammed the door muttering to himself about Zim. Then he turned toward Gaz, ripped away the flowers, and threw them out the window. Gaz was still confused about what was going on. As usual, Dib and Zim must have a thing going on.

Who cares? She thought.

She pulled her GameSlave3 from her pocket and looked down to start playing again, just as she was about to walk away she noticed something yellow at her feet. It was the head of one of the dandelions Zim gave her. Dib must have broken it off. She bent down to pick it up and examined it closely, it was battered and smashed. Gaz stuck it in her pocket and continued her game.