Dear Santana,

I know okay? I know about you and Quinn. I'm not angry at you, I don't have the right to be, after all I told you to leave, I told you go and find a girl who is as hot and smart as you, I just didn't think it would be Quinn, I just didn't expect that…What does she have that I don't Santana?

I'm more hurt than anything, we may have split up Santana, but I still thought I was your best friend, I thought you were saving that spot for me? I guess I was mistaken. Do you know what it felt like to hear about you and Quinn through someone else, it felt as if I'd been hit by a truck going over 100 miles an hour. My heart was racing, my mind was spinning, I wanted to hit something, I wanted to cry, but that's when I realised that you aren't mine to cry over anymore… but I still cried, it's like I had no control over my emotions, it was like a river bursting its banks… uncontrollable and unstoppable.

I don't know how long I cried for exactly, it felt like hours, days even. I don't know when I realized that this needs to stop, this self-destructing love of ours, but I just did. It's not doing either of us any good. While we love each other we just keep hurting each other over and over. How long must this cycle go on?

We always seem to make the same mistakes over and over and neither of us can help it. I want to let go of you but I just don't think I can, I promise you I'll try, but until the day that I can, I'm yours, proudly so.

P.s. I got full marks on my SATs, while I sat in the office with Sam and Principle Figgins, I couldn't help but think how proud you would be of me, I could just imagine you telling me that you knew I could do it, but instead I had Sam and Figgins questioning my result, even accusing me of cheating, I don't think they realised just how much it hurt.

Forever yours

Brittany