! SPOILER ALERT !

This is a speculative one-shot based on the press release of episode 8x18 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' and a small spoiler from Shonda. It's really nothing major but if you want to be completely unspoiled you should not read it.

I know that I have two on-going stories and that I should probably update one of them but you can't imagine how crowded my head looks like with all those ideas floating around. I needed to get at least one out before my head is going to explode. I promise I go straight back to 'Bad Timing' after this. (Well, after I've watched Hawaii-Five-O from yesterday and got my Alex fix. Hi, hi. A friend already told me that he is shirtless again. Can't wait to see that.) Enjoy!


Too Late

Jackson stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Lexie leaning over the railing with a longing look on her face. He didn't need to see at whom she was looking. This longing look was only ever directed towards one man. Dr. Mark Sloan.

Jackson shook his head exasperatedly. He couldn't believe that Lexie still hadn't told Mark. Not to mention that he'd expected Mark to talk to her about her unexpected visit to his apartment. But nothing had happened and suddenly Jackson had enough. Some people apparently needed to be forced into happiness.

"You are pathetic." Jackson said quietly as he reached her and Lexie jumped with surprise. She had been so fixated on Mark that she hadn't seen him approach her.

"Jackson, what do you want?" Lexie asked, already annoyed by the presence of her ex-boyfriend.

"You are pathetic." Jackson reiterated. "Extremely pathetic. Would you just stop pining for him?"

"I'm not pining for anyone." Lexie said brusquely.

"Sure." Jackson snorted sarcastically.

"What's your point?"

"You know damn well that I've always told you that he isn't good for you, that you two are lethal for each other." Jackson explained. "I've listened to you, telling me about all this soul mate crap and how much you miss him and I know that I should have just walked away back then. I never had a chance with you."

"Jackson, I don't want to talk about this. We broke up. Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. But do you remember why we broke up?" Jackson looked at her intently, hoping that she would finally admit that she was still in love with Mark. But when she only pressed her lips together, a stubborn look on her face, Jackson just sighed and said firmly. "Lexie, just go over there and tell him."

"Tell who what?" Lexie replied stubbornly.

"God damn it, Lexie. Just tell Mark already that you are still in love with him and that you want him back." Jackson exploded. "I can't watch it any longer. Even though we broke up I still care about you, you know? I let my feelings for you cloud my judgment when we got together. I shouldn't have overlooked the fact that you will never love someone else. Sloan is it for you, isn't he? He is the one man you will never forget. The one man you will love for the rest of your life no matter how often he hurt you. Isn't that right?"

"I don't think ..."

"Will you just say it out loud already?" Jackson almost shouted, losing his patience.

"Fine. You want to hear it. You really want to hear me say it." Lexie paused briefly, panting heavily with hardly suppressed rage but Jackson only nodded. He might not want to hear it but Lexie needed to say it. "I love him. I'm in love with Mark Sloan. It should matter that he has a child with Callie but it doesn't. It cuts me up inside to see him with another woman, okay? It's killing me. There. I've said it. Are you satisfied now?" Lexie huffed, her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Then why on earth are you still standing here?" Jackson asked incredulously, feeling pity rising in his chest when he saw her hands trembling. She was definitely scared. The one time she had mustered all her courage and had intended to tell Mark, he had been the one who prevented her from telling him. "Don't you think he has the right to know, Lexie? I don't understand the dynamic between you two. You two shouldn't work but you obviously can't live without him and he should know that. Just tell him, Lexie. Not telling him makes the whole situation only worse. How long are you willing to watch him with Julia? How long until you break? Are you going to wait until it's too late?"

"I can't, Jackson. I don't know how."

"Look, he is standing right over there." Jackson pointed down the stairs. "Go and ask him if he has time to talk to you. Tell him that it's important."

Lexie looked down the stairs, unsure of her next step and Jackson exhaled loudly when he saw the first signs of hope in her eyes. "I swear, if you don't go down there in the next few seconds, I'll drag you down."

"Okay, okay, I'm going."

~M&L~

"I don't know, Derek. I think it's time for the next step. I'm not getting any younger and she is great with Sofia." Mark said.

"Are you sure about that? I mean living together is a pretty big step." Derek pointed out.

Lexie's steps faltered and she stumbled one step back, right into Jackson who had followed her down the stairs. She felt like she got just sucker-punched and she had difficulties to breathe. He wanted to move in with her? Lexie's hand around the railing tightened and Jackson feared that she would faint any second as he saw how pale her face was.

"Maybe." Mark replied to Derek. "But moving in together is the most logically step. We have a great time together. I think we should give it a shot. See how it ..." Mark trailed off when he looked into Derek's face. Derek didn't look at him anymore but straight over his right shoulder, totally distracted by whatever he saw behind him. "What? What is it?"

Mark turned around, curious at whom or what Derek was looking. Only a few steps away Lexie was standing frozen to the spot. Jackson stood right beside her, a worried expression on his face, his hand securely wrapped around her upper arm. Mark furrowed his brows in confusion when he saw the shocked expression on Lexie's face. It looked like Jackson had to hold her upright, as if she would break down any second. Was she okay? Did something bad happen?

Mark took a step in her direction, a strange feeling of protectiveness rushing through his body. But Lexie immediately stepped back, only Jackson's hand prevented her from running away. Her lips began to tremble, and he could see tears welling up in her eyes. His heart fell in his stomach. Something terrible must have happened though he had no clue what.

"Lex?" Mark asked cautiously, overwhelmed by a sudden urge to touch her. "What's wrong?"

"I ... I need to go." Lexie managed to get out around the big lump in her throat and jerking her arm out of Jackson's grip she rushed down the floor, disappearing around the corner.

"Avery?" Mark looked questioningly at Jackson. "What happened? Is everything okay with her?"

Jackson turned slowly around, looking at him incredulously. "You know, for someone who love to stick his nose in other peoples business you are insanely oblivious when it comes to your own personal life."

"What are you talking about?" Mark asked confused.

"You are killing her, Mark!" Jackson exclaimed, not caring that he had just called his mentor by his first name. He was too annoyed by these two right now to care about any repercussions. "I actually have no idea how you can be so dense."

"Watch your tone, Avery." Mark replied with a slightly strained voice, surprised by the outrage he could see on Jackson's face.

"No, I will not watch my tone, Dr. Sloan. You are pestering me for weeks that I should go get laid. Now it's my turn."

"Where is this coming from?" Mark shook his head disbelievingly, still clueless with what he had offended him.

"Why do you think she came to your apartment the other night?" Jackson asked him harshly. "I've overheard you telling her that I could leave if she wanted to talk."

"She said that there was some stuff she wanted to talk about. I just thought it couldn't be that important. After all, she didn't want to stay after she realized that you were there."

"If you weren't an attending I would slap you right now." Jackson muttered exasperatedly.

"Excuse me?"

"I finally got her to tell you and then she had to overhear you talking about moving in with Julia. Talk about bad timing."

"You've lost me." Mark said slowly.

"Yeah, I can imagine." Jackson replied. Pinching his nose, he tried to come up with an idea how he could get Mark to follow Lexie, deciding that the easiest way would be the best. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"A favor?"

"Please go and talk to her, will you?" Seeing Mark's still baffled face, Jackson added. "You need to talk to her. She has to tell you something important."

"Lexie?" Mark asked disbelievingly. "What do you mean important?"

"Just trust me. You want to hear it." Jackson walked backwards and shook his head slightly. "You are the most stubborn people I've ever met. Seriously! Go!"

"But ..."

"Now!" Jackson pointed with his finger in the direction Lexie had disappeared.

"I can't believe I'm listening to a resident." Mark muttered under his breath.

"You are not doing it for me. You are doing it for her." Jackson shouted over his shoulder.

Mark turned around to Derek who was still standing only a few feet away.

"Do you know what he is talking about?"

"No clue. But Lexie looked pretty distraught. I think Avery is right. You should talk to her."

~M&L~

It took him about twenty minutes and some charming smiles towards the hospital stuff until he found her in an on call room. She was lying on the bed, face towards the wall. Mark could see her shoulders shaking and he was actually glad that he had followed Avery's advice.

"Lexie?" Mark asked softly, closing the door quietly.

"Mark?" Lexie jerked around, her voice full of surprise. Her eyes were all red and puffy. Her face wet with tears. The moment she realized that he was really standing in front of her, she straightened herself in shock and turned her face away embarrassed, wiping with the sleeve of her coat over her face. "What are you doing here?"

"Avery sent me."

"Traitor!" Lexie mumbled, rubbing her hands against the fabric of her scrubs.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Lexie replied, her gaze still averted to the ground. "Since when do you listen to residents anyway?"

"Why were you crying, Lexie?" Mark asked quietly.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Lexie said, looking up to him for a brief second, before she let her gaze drop to her knees again.

"Avery seems to think it has something to do with me." Mark pressed further and when she didn't deny it, he continued. "Why did you come to my apartment? What did you want to talk about?"

Lexie took in a deep breath, before she held it for a few seconds, exhaling slowly. He wouldn't go until he got a satisfying answer. Better to give him something though she wasn't sure if she would actually tell him the whole truth.

"We had this case where the woman was going on and on that she had waited for a proposal from her boyfriend for years and he always only bought her some stupid jewelry. Never an engagement ring."

"What has this to do with anything?"

"He died, Mark. He died and I found a locket in his belongings." Lexie gulped hard before she continued. "It was one of those lockets that you can open up to put pictures in it. He didn't put pictures in it. His proposal was written on the inside."

"That's pretty romantic."

"But he died, Mark." Lexie reiterated, looking him directly in the eyes for the first time since he'd entered the room. "He died and I've realized that this could happen to me too. I could die any moment and I would die without telling you ..." Lexie trailed off, clutching her hands into fists.

"Telling me what?" Mark asked, stepping closer so that he was only standing two steps away from her.

"I came to your apartment because I wanted to tell you ..." Lexie averted her gaze again, her hands still clutched into fists. She couldn't do it, she couldn't tell him.

"Lex?" Lexie jerked up when she felt his finger under her chin. Without noticing it Mark had crouched down in front of her. He pulled her head up carefully and a shiver ran down her spine when she looked into his worried eyes. "Talk to me. Please?"

The begging tone of his voice was her undoing. Her skin burned where his finger had just touched her and his blue eyes bored into hers, begging her silently to talk to him and she finally gave in.

"I wanted to tell you that I am still in love with you." Lexie blurted out. "I wanted to tell you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted to tell you that I want you back. I love you, Mark. I love you more than I will ever love anything in my life."

"What?" Mark asked completely stunned.

"But I'm too late." Lexie shoved him back and stood up from the bed, bringing some distance between them. One second longer with him in such close proximity and she would have broken down in tears. "You moved on. I got punished for my cowardice. Maybe if I would have just told you sooner. Maybe it would have made a difference."

"Let me just get this straight." Mark said slowly. Standing up, he turned around to face her. "You are in love with me?"

"Yes, I'm in love with you." Lexie confirmed with a slightly shaking voice.

"And not a 'I'm in love with you but I don't want to love you' kind of love?" Mark asked for clarification.

"No. It's a 'I'm in love with you and I can't imagine even spending another second apart from you' kind of love." Lexie replied softly.

"When did you change your mind?" Mark asked curiously.

"What do you mean?" Lexie furrowed her brows, unsure what he exactly wanted to know.

"When did the 'I don't want to love you' changed into 'I can't imagine even spending another second apart from you'?

"A while ago." Lexie tried to avoid a direct answer.

"When?" Mark inquired.

"Since the baseball game?" Lexie replied, voicing it more like a question. She averted her gaze once again, unnerved by his scrutinizing gaze.

"Are you asking me or are you telling me?"

"I'm telling you. Though I didn't admit it to myself before a patient and her novel rocked me out of my denial." Lexie informed him.

"Why? What happened?" Mark asked, leaning against the bed post.

"The book was about a woman between two men and I wasn't happy with the choice the woman in the book made. She chose the bad guy over the good guy."

"So I'm the bad guy then?" Mark pressed on, trying to understand what she wanted to tell him.

"That's the problem." Lexie said quietly, her eyes flicking back to his. "On paper you might be the bad guy. With all your sleeping around and getting women pregnant."

"I never slept around while I was with you." Mark interjected, feeling the need to defend himself.

"I know." Lexie spoke barely above a whisper. "And no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that you are not good for me, I've never stopped loving you."

"But you said you didn't want to love me. What about that? Why is it different now, Lexie?"

"I don't know. I can't explain it. I carried the anger around with me for such a long time. It hurt like hell when you told me that you've slept with Callie. I gave us another chance and what felt like only seconds later you've told me that you are going to be a father. It was just too much, Mark."

"I get that, Lexie. I really do. But I still don't understand why you've changed your mind. Why do you want me back?"

"Why do you wanna know?" Lexie asked softly. "You are with Julia now and you want to move in with her. I have no right to interfere with your life. I was the one who told you that you should leave me alone. You respected my wish. I can't expect you to throw it all away. You have no reason to trust me. To trust my love in you. I screwed up often enough and so did you. Maybe we should really just go our separate ways."

"Just answer me one question." Mark looked at her thoughtfully and Lexie stiffened slightly, not sure what she should expect. "Why did you wait such a long time to tell me?"

Lexie exhaled the breath she hadn't even been aware that she was holding, relieved that the question was easy to answer. "I was scared."

"Scared about what?"

"Scared about rejection. Scared that you would choose Julia." Lexie explained. "I have no right to ask you to take me back. To give us another chance. Maybe it's now my turn to leave you alone. To let you go."

"There is only one problem." Mark stated calmly.

"And what would that be?" Lexie asked curiously.

"I don't want you to leave me alone."

"What are you saying?" Lexie whispered, not sure that she heard him correctly.

"I only let you go because you ask me to, Lex. You pushed me away and I tried. Believe me! I tried really hard to let you go for real. But it didn't work. The moment I heard that Jackson and you broke up I couldn't stop thinking about you, couldn't stop asking myself if there might be the slightest chance that you would give us another chance. It's not fair to Julia. I know. I shouldn't have started a relationship with her." Mark stepped closer until he stood directly in front of her. "My heart was never free. I couldn't give it to another woman because it always belonged to you. It will always belong to you, Lex. I love you."

"I ... are we ... I ..." Lexie stuttered, his confession seemingly robbing her of her ability to form any coherent thought.

"Yes, you are not the only one who wants to get back together." Mark smiled. "A small part of me had always hoped that you are gonna change your mind." Raising his hand, he caressed her cheek with his thumb, threading his fingers into her hair and Lexie closed her eyes when his fingers touched her skin. "It would be stupid to refuse myself the one thing I want most in my life only because I'm too proud to admit that you only need to snap your finger and I'll come back to you."

"I don't deserve you, Mark." Lexie breathed with a trembling voice, opening her eyes slowly.

"Where did you get that idea?" Mark asked perplexed. "It sounds as if I've never made any mistakes and we both know that's not true. We both were equally responsible for our problems."

"I don't deserve that you are willing to give us another chance without me fighting for it."

"Would you prefer if I would make it harder for you? Because I can do that if you want me to."

"No." Lexie shook her head vehemently. "It's just ... if I would have known that I only had to tell you about my feelings I would have talked to you sooner. I truly believed that I've missed my chance and that you were gone."

"I'm here, Lex. I'm right here."

"I can see that. But it still feels like a dream, Mark."

"It's not a dream." Mark wrapped his arms around her and pressed her into him. "I just wished you would have told me sooner. We wasted so much time."

"I've missed you." Lexie mumbled into his chest. "I've missed you so much, Mark."

"I've missed you, too." Mark whispered into her hair.

"Don't ever leave me again. Not even when I try to push you away. Promise!" Lexie lifted her head so that she could look into his eyes.

"I promise. I'll never leave you alone again, not even when you are trying to walk out on me again." Mark said reassuringly.

"We are quite a pair, aren't we?" Lexie said with a small smile on her face.

"Definitely." Mark smirked. "Our kids are gonna love to hear about the rocky path of our relationship before we finally tied the knot."

"Kids? Tying the knot?" Lexie raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Don't you think you are jumping the gun here?"

"We will eventually get there." Mark insisted. "I see no harm in talking about it now. But it doesn't mean that it needs to happen this month or this year."

"What if I don't want to wait until next year."

"I thought you want to start your practice first." Mark teased lightheartedly.

"Hmm, maybe I can be persuaded by a very handsome plastic surgeon." Lexie replied mischievously.

"The very handsome plastic surgeon will definitely try." Mark smiled happily. But suddenly his smile faltered and he told her quietly. "After I broke up with Julia."

"So I don't get wall sex with McSteamy in the on call room then?" Lexie asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Let me call her right away, okay?"

"You want to break up with her over the phone?" Lexie asked incredulously. "You can't do that, Mark?"

"No, I just want to talk to her. Ask her when she'll get home from work. I don't want to delay it any longer, Lex. I'm going to tell her tonight." Mark explained.

"Good." Lexie lay her head back on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. "You can't imagine how happy I am that you are choosing me this time."

"This time?"

"The last time you chose Sloan." Lexie explained quietly.

"Lex?" When Lexie looked up he cradled her face between his hands. "We need to stop looking back, okay?" When she nodded, Mark continued softly. "I love you. I'm always gonna love you and I know now that you were right. I've never asked you about your opinion. But you are the most important person in my life and I want you to believe me. Can you do that?"

"I can certainly try." Lexie smiled. "I love you, Mark. I can't live without you in my life."

"And I can't live without you in my life."

"Promise me that we will never forget this moment." Lexie said urgently. "Promise me that we'll never forget how lucky we are that we found each other. Maybe we needed to overcome all these obstacles so that we can really appreciate what we have. A love like ours is very rare, Mark."

"I know, Lex. I promise that we will never forget this moment. It took us a long time to finally get to this moment. We won't forget it, Lex. I will never forget the moment you came back to me. The moment you came back to me forever."

"I will never forget the moment you chose me, Mark. The moment you chose to spend the rest of your life with me."

"Let's mark the date, okay? Every year we are going to celebrate this day. No matter what happens this day belongs only to us."

"I like the idea. Celebrating the date of our reunion. The one day that only belongs to us." Lexie spoke softly, her head dropping back on his shoulder.

Wrapping his arms more firmly around her, Mark exhaled deeply. "I can't believe that I can actually hold you in my arms again."

"I never feel more safe than when I'm in your arms, Mark."

"Oh god, I've missed you so much." Turning his head, he pressed a kiss on her forehead, whispering with a hoarse voice. "I love you, Lex."

Lexie tightened her arms around his waist, burying her face deeper into his chest. "I love you, Mark."

Not even an earthquake could separate them right in this moment. They were finally in each others' arms again. Together with the only person they wanted to be with since the moment Lexie had showed up at his hotel room. This moment was precious. This moment belonged only to them and nothing could destroy it.


I don't believe that we'll actually get a talk like this. I wouldn't put it beyond Shonda to give us again nothing more than Lexie overhearing Mark talking about moving in with Julia because she likes to torture our shipper hearts.

As you can see, I'm going crazy here without Mark and Lexie scenes. I need them back on my screen. STAT! The only ones who are profiting from the lack of Mark and Lexie scenes are you, my dearly readers. So gave my shipper heart a virtual hug and leave me a lovely review. :-)