Never mind

The standard disclaimers applied.

A/N: This was written last year. I never posted it on fan fiction before. I was going to but then I accidentally deleted it. In no mood to rewrite it again, I left the file rot for a long time. Here it is. More angst. I really need to cut short on the angst part.

Summary: …I forgive you like always. HaoYoh. Angst.

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Ding! Dong!

Ding! Dong!

The sides of my lips twitched into an unbearable smile.

Ding! Dong!

Ding! Dong!

I blindly watched my reflection as my eyes strived to keep myself awake.

Ding! Dong!

Ding! Dong!

My hands fumbled carelessly with the buttons of my shirt, letting them slide down onto the floor lifelessly.

Ding! Dong!

Ding! Dong!

I removed the orange headphone since it annoyed my half a lot. You said the color doesn't suit me at all. It was part of you which made me want to agree. I looked pathetic with it.

Ding! Dong!

Ding! Dong!

The jeans were then ripped off while I fought against the cold air which sent shivers down my spine. Two more strikes of the grandfather clock were left. Something rang inside of me told me it was nearly time. I grabbed the long white robe beside me and threw them over me.

I smiled truly for the first time that night.

Ding! Dong!

Ding! Dong!

There it was. The last stroke of midnight. Not wanting to anger you anymore by making you wait, I quickly knelt onto the floor outside the room, bowing down until my head touched the wooden floor. The coldness had startled me a bit but never mind. It was fine.

It was always fine.

I stayed in that position for what seemed like hours, completely confused as to why there were no sounds coming from the room. Even so, I dared not to look up. It was your orders after all. Nobody would dare to defy you. Thus, I waited like I did every night for those aggressive words. It was probably your idea of a joke. Yes. You were known for your sadistic nature after all. I smiled again.

"Come in…"

My heart lit up in happiness but no words came from me. The door slid open as if on cue. My legs acted on its own and I crawled in, looking around the room for any sign of you.

There was no one.

But I shrugged it off like the usual as my eyes wandered around the room, hoping that you might be somewhere hidden just waiting to pounce on me right now like you always did, every night.

So I waited….like always.

But you didn't come. Why? Why? What did I do wrong? Why didn't he come? The walls were painted white like you wanted. You told me that white suited me more. A futon lay on the floor with a small lamp beside it like you wanted. Everything was did the way you wanted.

So why didn't you turn up?

Never mind. Perhaps the window wasn't open wide enough for you to come in. Perhaps something was missing that made you unhappy so you don't want to come in. Anything was possible at this rate. But never mind. I'll wait for you by the window like always every night.

I stared emotionlessly out of the window searching for any sign of life. The edges of the curtain flapped onto my face but I didn't care. You were more important but since you said that my face is your life, I raised my hands and gave it a hard tug. Thus, I ripped it and threw it to the other side of the room.

I waited and waited and again, you didn't turn up. Maybe you were not attracted to my body anymore. Maybe you found someone better. Still, I craved for your touch. Bringing myself to hug my body tight, I remembered those brief touches, those wonderful pleasurable strokes, the way you kissed me hard and also, the way you attacked me, devouring me whole.

Just by remembering those hard and rough thrusts made me shivered with happiness. That showed how much you needed me. And for that, I smiled for the third time that night.

The old clock strike five am, signaling it was time for you to go before anyone noticed. The room remain untouched as I stood up, walked to the other side of that door. Turning on my heels, I managed to catch a glimpse of you lying on that futon smiling at me before disappearing again.

It was unlike you but still, never mind. I have a feeling that you'll be here again tonight like always.

Letting myself fell to the floor, I smiled for the fourth time that night.

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"When will you finally acknowledge the fact that Hao is dead?"

"I saw him."

"No you didn't. It was just your hallucination."

"I saw him. He smiled at me."

"Yoh..."

"He…smiled at me."

Before I knew it, I cried for the first time that day. "He…smiled at me."

But never mind, I knew…you'll be there waiting for me in that room like you always did every night.

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Yoh's in denial… Poor Yoh. Set after the anime. Yoh killed Hao. Let's not forget that. This was longer than my previous one. (sweatdrop) Hope you like! So review! Click on that button and write! It won't take a long time! I assure you! XD