The rain seemed to get heavier with my every sob.
I sank down, once again, into the red cushy couch that he had once held me on. My vision is so blury from my tears, I cant tell if its 10pm or 1am. Time was now put in a metamorphical blender, no end or beginning.
"oh, God." I muttered to myself as I rose up and skidded to the bathroom for like the 6th time today. This had been going on for 3 days now. Eating, getting sick, feeling fine, eating, getting sick, feeling fine again. It was a vicious cycle.
When I was done puking my guts out, I got up and looked at what was left of me. I was no longer Spencer Hastings. I was now a dark, lost girl, nameless. I look like a wreck.
Suddenly, I had a revalation.
I remembered back to when Melissa first had goten pregnant. She was always running to the bathroom like me.
My hard tears came back when I realized that I was probably pregnant with the baby of the only boy I ever loved. But now he hates me. He's gone.
I knew what I had to do.
About a half hour later I was back in the bathroom, with my tests. 3 of them.
I quietly opened the first one, which was pointless because I was home alone. I just felt guilty. I read the complicated directions, then attempted to forecast my fate.
I came back to the 3 tests 15 minutes later. Before I looked, I began to cry, because half of me wanted to go back in time and tell Toby and I to use protection, then maybe I wouldn't be in this mess. But my other, weaker half wanted to have Tobys baby.
I turned slowly, unsure of my feelings, only to find all 3 tests covered in blinding blue lines.
Im a Mommy.
