A/N: Hello hello. Okay, so this is my very first fanfiction. This was set during New Moon, only she hadn't met Jacob (I don't know whether to add him later on in the story or not) and therefore she's still like, insanely broken. I'm sorry if Alice is really bitchy in this story. I love her to death she's freaking adorable but it just seemed kind of necessary :) And I'm sorry if Bella is this totally whiny, needy person. It's just fun to make her that way. Oh yeah, and I'm putting Victoria in this fic too.. you'll see why if you read this chapter. Okay, other than that, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Stephenie Meyer does. :)


Chapter One.

We were once perfect, me and you. Will never leave this room

"He's gone."

All it took were two simple words. Two simple words and I felt my entire world collapsed around me. I could barely think, and the next thing I knew, my grip on the doorknob I had been clutching so tightly loosened, as I helplessly gave way to my legs that were buckling below me.

Everything went black.

"Edward! Stop it!" I giggled, squirming in his stone grip. It was another beautiful day; the sun was out and I was sitting with Edward in our very own personal heaven. He was tickling me, and a huge smile adorned his impossibly gorgeous face. That smile itself made everything seem worthwhile. Even after all this time, I still couldn't grasp the fact that this—this angel, belonged to me. When I was with him, it seemed like nothing mattered anymore.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes were five very concerned faces looming over me. I groaned, sitting up. What had happened?

The realization hit me like a bullet.

The Cullens. Rosalie. My doorstep. Edward.

"Edward." I whispered, my voice shaking unsteadily. My head felt light, and the room seemed to be spinning wildly out of control. My hands shot out to grasp the table that was placed next to the huge bed I was lying in as a way to steady myself.

"We're all so sorry Bella. He meant as much to us as he does to you... we're devastated too." Carlisle murmured, a sympathetic expression on his face.

I slowly eased myself off the bed, the two words Rosalie had said still echoing over and over in my head. So this was what a broken heart felt like. I thought I had experienced it firsthand when he had left me, but this throbbing, painful ache that made me want to double over and cry was so much worse.

Barely able to see, I managed to fumble my way outside. The rain thudded down like angry lashes on every part of my body as the wind whipped my wavy hair across my face.

I needed to breathe. I needed to breathe, and think.

No. I needed -- Edward.

His name pulled me under all over again.

Was this how it felt like to drown? Because I certainly felt like I was drowning, or maybe getting buried alive. Even after kicking upwards with all your might, until every last muscle in your body felt deteriorated; you still went down anyway. Your breathing still gets constricted, and everything just stops.

Just. Like. That.

Well, on the bright side, if I died, at least I would get to see Edward again.

I buried my face in my hands, suddenly aware that hot, salty tears that were flowing down my cheeks.

No.

I needed to pull myself together. Not for me, but for Charlie, for the Cullens' and for— my breath hitched in my throat again.

"Edward." I whispered, gazing up into the empty sky.

"Edward. Edward. Edward."

Maybe by saying his name repeatedly he would come back to me and comfort me. Wipe away my tears and whisper sweet nothings into my ear. Assure me that this was merely one of the nightmares in the alternate universe I had been living in ever since he had left me.

"Bella." A familiar voice chimed in behind me.

I didn't bother checking to see who it was. The only thing on my mind was Edward. The way he would smile at my excessive clumsiness, the way he would hum me my lullaby when I couldn't sleep. I would never be able wrap my arms around his stone-like body ever again. Or see him sparkle every time we were under the sunlight. Everything I had once taken for granted was now gone.

I begin rocking back and forth, the tears still flowing wetly down my face. My eyes felt like they were burning. Crying hurt. The last time I had cried this much, I had been 5. My cat had died. Strangely, the crying felt abnormally good. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hurt.

"Snap out of it!" There it was, that voice again.

"Go away." I muttered.

I wanted to be alone.

"No, I will not go away. Everybody's been worried sick because of you. Get into the house now." Rosalie snarled, appeared in front of me. Like me, she was soaked through, only she was really pissed about it. Rosalie Hale. Always the narcissist. Her eyes flashed dangerously as she took a step towards me.

She had always hated me, if she didn't, then she was pretty good at disguising it. Hell, she had been the one who had appeared on my doorstep to deliver the news about Edward. And now she was treating it like nothing had ever happened to him?

"God, Rosalie. Don't you have an ounce of love or sorrow for your brother? Are you even hurting?" I yelled, suddenly losing it. My hands curled into fists by my side, but even in this state of mind I knew better than to take a strike at her.

She looked taken aback for awhile. Good. But abruptly she recovered her composure and glared at me again, more ferociously than before.

"You do not get to talk to me like that." She hissed, roughly throwing me across her shoulder and running into the house where she handed me a towel, and a clean pair of clothes.

By the time I was downstairs, I noticed that everybody was gathered in the living room—everybody but Alice. Their faces were all unreadable, statuesque, each looking more gorgeous than the last.

My heart felt like it had been stabbed repeatedly as I glanced at each face; I didn't deserve to be here. Edward was the only reason I had been accepted before, and now that he was gone—the agony ripped through my body, as I finally comprehended what they were probably going to tell me.

"It's alright. I understand that you don't want me here. I'll leave if you want me too." I said softly, my eyes focusing on everything else but them. I knew that if I looked at them, my eyes would fill up with tears again. A public meltdown would just make everything seem worse.

It would make me seem weak.

Esme looked up at me in surprise, shocked by my suggestion."Dear, we don't want you to leave. It's just that… we were trying to think of a way to help you cope with this. Edward meant a lot to all of us too, you know. He was our family."

There was nothing they could do. I was already in far too deep. I was already broken beyond repair after he had left me, so... what was I now? What came after broken beyond repair?

Keep yourself together Bella. I screamed at myself, trying to ignore the thoughts that were screaming in my head.

"Oh. Thank you." I twisted up the corners of my mouth in the feeble attempt to form a smile, failing miserably. "Where's Alice?" I asked. If there were anyone who could make me feel even a tiny bit better, it would be Alice. But I doubt even she could do anything about me now. Still, having her around would be nice. I wouldn't be alone, at least.

At the mention of her name, all their expressions changed.

Jasper's face crumpled, Emmett looked sour, Rosalie looked smug, and Carlisle and Esme looked pained.

"W-what is it?" I stammered, now afraid of the answer they were going to give me. Don't tell me Alice had been... with him. I gulped, ignoring the fear I suddenly felt.

"It's nothing." Jasper replied quickly, shooting his family a look.

I knew better. They definitely weren't telling me something. Alice would never be gone at a time like this.

"Well, I guess I'll just… go home now." I noted quietly, dying to escape the awkward situation I was in. I felt like I was intruding on their family, they should have time to talk about this amongst themselves anyway.

"I'll drive her." Jasper put in, his voice low.

The ride home was a quiet one, the only noise being the unfamiliar song blaring through the local radio station that the radio was tuned on.

I gazed outside the window; the rain was still falling heavily, the little droplets creating intricate patterns on the car's tinted glass.

I traced the patterns with my index finger, sighing heavily. I suddenly had a massive headache, and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. The dreams would probably come, but at least I didn't have to face reality. Reality hurt so much more than any dream.

"We're here." Jasper stated, as he nudged me gently.

"Okay." I nodded, turning my gaze towards him. I started to unfasten my seatbelt, but by the time I was done, he was already holding the door open for me, umbrella in hand.

"Guess I should have expected that." I muttered, resisting the urge to cry again. For once I was thankful to the rain.

He shrugged, walking me to my door at a human pace. Before pushing the door open, I paused.

"What is it?" he asked, confused.

"I know you know where Alice is." I folded my arms across my chest, an eyebrow raised.

"Look Bella. It's complicated." He sighed, averting his gaze away from me.

"Tell me!" I demanded.

He ignored my question, instead giving me a small shove towards the door. I shook my head, exasperated and stepped into my house. I heard the tires screech and in a matter of seconds, he was gone.

"Charlie?" I called, but I was greeted with silence. I headed into the kitchen to find a note taped on the refrigerator door.

Bella-

I'll be down at La Push tonight, watching the game with Billy. Don't wait up for me.

Love, Charlie.

I sighed in relief. I didn't want to endure his questioning about how my day had been, at least not today. The tears would probably just come again. Crying was the last thing I needed right now. I loathed crying in front of people, especially in front of the Cullens. It made me feel like I was weak, worthless. Even if I was. Sympathy was something I did not want nor did I need.

I undressed myself slowly and stood underneath the scalding hot shower, trying to concentrate on the way my muscles loosened under the hot stream of water. The water burned my skin, but that was probably because I had been standing in the rain not too long ago.

It felt like bliss.

You know how people usually have the most thoughts either before they go to bed or when they're having a shower? Well, this was the only place where I felt like my brain wasn't filled with anything at all. This was the one place where I could feel empty.

I stood in the same position for what felt like hours, though I knew only mere minutes had passed. It felt good. For awhile, I actually felt like I was whole again. Of course, the feeling disappeared the instant I stepped out of the shower and into my now steamy bathroom. Wrapping a fluffy white towel around me, I slowly dressed in an oversized shirt and my most comfortable pair of flannel pants.

Sighing, I flopped onto my bed, too tired to think anymore.

Sleep overwhelmed me almost instantly.


"No!" I gasped, running faster and faster. But never fast enough. Edward was disappearing right before my eyes—the flames teased and licked at his motionless body, growing bigger with each step I took, and Edward was shrinking. I stood there helpless, finally comprehending that I was unable to save him.

I woke up, the scream muted by my hand that was clamped across my mouth. A habit I had picked up since I had started having the nightmares. My eyes skimmed over to the digital clock next to me. The neon green numbers screamed at me that it was 2:00 AM. I had been asleep for nearly five hours. Though Charlie had gotten used to my nightmares since Edward had left me, I still tried my hardest not to wake him.

I didn't ever go back to sleep that night. The rest of the night was mostly spent with me tossing and turning in my bed until the sun began to rise.

Absentmindedly, I threw on a long sleeved black sweater and jeans. I wondered if the Cullens would be at school today.

That's when I caught sight of the mirror.

Or to be more precise, the girl who was glancing at the mirror. Her dark hair was unkempt, her eyes were puffy and red, and her skin was an unhealthy shade of white.

Okay. I looked way worse than I thought. Who the hell cared anyway? It's not like I was meaning to impress anyone. Not anymore.

Skipping breakfast, I headed straight for my truck. Instead, I was surprised to find an unfamiliar sleek black car parked in my yard. Curious, I walked towards it. The exterior was painted black, and it looked sleek and fast. Fancy, for sure. I assumed it was one of the Cullens cars, since around here, they were pretty much the only ones that owned cars that looked like that. But if it was, how came I had never seen it parked around their house before? Curious, I made my way towards it.

When rivers turn to roads and lovers become trends, hush, this is where it ends.

A/N:So? Did you guys like it? R/R please. Opinions are appreciated but nothing too harsh please.