Title: Suigan no Ai
Author: Rissa
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Genre: Romance/Humor
Rating: R for kissing boys and language
Warnings: Bad, horrible, shameful, blatant oocness. Excessive fangirl Japanese (glossary at the bottom).
Disclaimer: I do not know any of the people in this story, and all events depicted are entirely fictional. Prince of Tennis is owned by Konomi. TeniMyu is a production of TK WORKS/Shueisha Publishing Co., Ltd.
A/N: I can't write short things. Sorry.
Nagayan squinted, blinked, and squinted again as he tried to make out the gyrating figure on the platform in front of him. Flashing lights dancing between shades of magenta, azure, and violet sparkled on the ceiling and down the padded walls, spinning with a dizzying pace that was horribly out of sync with the music being pumped into the large room. There was, gratefully, a lack of heavy bass in the song currently playing, but the guitar chords were overblown and only one notch away from permanently damaging his eardrums. He wondered, with drunken curiosity, how big the drum set had to be to create some of those chest-penetrating rifts that were being belted out of the speakers.
Kimeru was drunk. Really, definitely, no question about it, on his way to a killer hangover in the morning, very drunk. He'd been dominating the low stage for the last three songs in a row and getting progressively worse with each tune, a can of beer in one hand and a microphone in the other. Nagayan had progressed beyond laughing at his friend's antics to simply staring on in disbelief. He'd briefly entertained the idea of snatching away the microphone and sparing their group from another horrible rendition of whatever American pop tune the recording artist decided to sing, but Nagayan's attempts had been foiled by the way the room swayed unsteadily and had seemed to rise up towards his face each time he'd attempted to leave the couch. To his ears' reluctant discomfort, he'd stayed put and resigned himself to refilling his glass with more beer.
If there was one good thing about their rag-tag group of performers, it was that no one could party hard quite like they could. Between Sota's attempts to concoct his own dangerous renditions of Inui juice out of sake and whatever colored spirits he could get his hands on, Endou's surprisingly provocative strip tease (this from the guy who had spent the first month's rehearsals for Dream Live tripping over his own feet), which had culminated in Naoya getting knocked out cold for a whole 5 minutes from the shock, and watching Kenn make out at least once with every member of the St. Rudolph team, Nagayan had no lack of new things to be amused with. Though the disturbing sight of seeing Ishibashi run through the room in nothing but his white briefs had left no one laughing, and they were all immensely grateful when Kitamura-san had tackled and dragged the ichinen off to find his discarded clothes.
This wasn't the first time Nagayan had been a part of a celebratory and rousing night of karaoke and endless alcohol, but the company was definitely better than those blurry memories of early mornings spent walking home on unsteady feet, often with he and Kimeru's arms slung around each other for the marginal support they could offer each other. Those times had been fun, but even Nagayan knew in his fogged state that this gathering was special; something meant to be remembered for years to come. It was the end of a great thing, the night of their last performance together, and no one had put up a smidgen of protest when after they'd changed out of their uniforms it had been suggested that they spend the rest of the evening together at one of the more posh, local karaoke bars in Kobe. They were all probably feeling a bit nostalgic, doing their best to keep the pain at bay, knowing that months of rehearsals, singing lessons, grueling hours spent getting sore feet, and two weeks of live performances has culminated in the inevitable goodbye.
Nagayan was not above feeling that ache of separation, and he could appreciate how well the alcohol was numbing his heart and mind from dwelling upon what tomorrow would bring. Oh some of them would come together again—there was already talk of another musical in the works, but the script wasn't finished and it would be at least two months before there were meetings to discuss rehearsals and salaries being renewed. They were all actors and performers, and would be fools not to have at least the next three months tentatively planned out, auditions to attend or productions previously agreed upon to film. No one could afford to be out of work for very long, Japan was not a cheap place to live after all, and unless they'd made plans with each other to meet again in the meanwhile, for the time being this night was to be their bittersweet sayonara.
The song being played ended on a high note that left Nagayan's ears ringing with the sound of Kimeru's unsteady vibrato lingering even with the absence of music. There were a few attempts at applause, mostly broken and disjointed as each pair of hands followed their own internal pace, though in the far corner Moriyama and Katou-kun were clapping with unbridled enthusiasm as though they'd just witnessed the most moving performance of their lives. Nagayan's own hands were a bit unsteady as he tried to clap, and he frowned when he realized that the beer glass in his hand was preventing him from making the desired sound. Kimeru bowed and soaked up the attention like a true star, his face flushed and the ends of his hair slightly damp under the glare of the spotlights focused upon the stage.
"Minna, arigatou! Tsugi, for my next song…"
"Yada!" Nagayan yelled immediately, and his protest was not surprisingly joined by a few other outcries from around the room.
Kimeru looked genuinely startled at the lack of support, but his face hardened in the next moment and there was a loud thump as the microphone under his hand bumped against his hip, pelvis thrust forward and chin held high. "Ii yo, who's next then? Who can come up here and do better than me?"
Anyone, at this point, Nagayan thought ruefully, but wisely kept his lips shut. Kimeru did know where he lived.
"Let the lady sing!" Moriyama yelled from his corner, and many people broke out in snorts of laughter, including Nagayan.
Kimeru glared a surprisingly piercing gaze at the eldest member of their group, which quickly silenced most of the broken giggles floating around the room.
Sota rose from his seat with remarkable balance for how much alcohol he'd been hoarding in his corner, though Nagayan suspected that most of it had been used for his strange mixers than actually being consumed. "A challenge!" Sota yelled. He lifted a cup that bubbled like a fizzy wine cooler, but Nagayan had never seen one quite that shade of murky brown-purple before. "If someone can out-sing Kimeru, he loses his place on the stage. But the loser must drink this, Sota-sama's special golden energy juice."
The room broke out into about a dozen different outraged voices as those who were still lucid enough expressed their adamant displeasure over going anywhere near the plastic cup Sota held in his hand, while others tried to point out, validly, that Kimeru had been dominating the stage for far too long and it was time to give the rest of them a turn.
Kimeru, for his part, smiled quite deviously and remarkably Fuji-ish (Nagayan had been only too happy to tease his friend about the many characteristics he'd adopted from his character), and pointed with the microphone as if it were a sword with which to issue a duel. "I accept, Sota-san. Bring on your challenge."
Everyone in the room collectively held their breath as they waited to see what brave soul might step up and accept the terms. It seemed a fruitless hope as the seconds ticked by, and Sota began to look acutely disappointed that his latest drink would go to waste, when Kenn, who until that moment had a surprisingly cuddlesome Shiozawa sprawled across his lap, pushed the boy away and leapt to his feet.
"Aniki!" he shouted, the word slurred and pitched uncomfortably high. "You won't get away with this! I accept your… your… I will defeat you!"
Sota grinned wickedly and promptly guided Kenn up to the stage with a firm hand on his shoulder in case the youth decided to bolt at the last minute. The room became filled with whoops and cheers, and Kenn blushed and waved under their encouragement as he stepped onto the platform. Kimeru's arms were crossed, an amused smile on his face, and Nagayan was struck by the funny thought of just how much these two looked like the original Fuji kyoudai as they faced off across the stage, one burning with passion and the other watching with calm superiority.
Under normal circumstances (though when were these people ever normal?), Nagayan would have probably enjoyed the chance to see two very talented artists in a face-off to see who could out-sing the other. But both of them were drunk, Kenn more than Kimeru it seemed, and the spot between Nagayan's eyes was already throbbing at the thought of listening to the two of them go at it while being horribly off key and out of tempo. He groaned aloud and leaned against the back of the couch, and by sheer luck managed to not lose his grip on the half full cup of lukewarm beer resting on his knee.
"It does seem like something rather stupid is going to happen," a voice beside him murmured, pitched just loud enough for Nagayan to hear.
Nagayan squeezed his eyes shut and squelched the urge to groan again. How could he have forgotten about his permanent couch-mate? As if his own body wasn't enough, it seemed he had acquired another in the form of one Tsuchiya Yuichi, who had so far remained glued to his side for almost the entire evening. Even after the performance had ended, Tuti had been unusually clingy for the loud, self-confident, one-man-circus he usually was, and it had forced Nagayan into making a few desperate attempts at escape after they'd left the theater and arrived at the karaoke bar. But despite his efforts, Tuti had managed to reappear again and again as if he'd never left, and Nagayan had finally given up changing seats in the room about two hours ago and resigned himself to the company.
Not that he had any problems with Tuti. He liked the guy. They got along well. They were the Golden Pair. Over the course of the last year they'd even become friends of a sort. Not as close as he and Kimeru were, but definitely closer than he'd gotten with any of the other members. It was natural considering the roles they played; they had duets and dance numbers together more than any other pairing in the musicals, which meant extra hours for practice and evenings spent going over their lines and routines together. Those times had never been dull, with Tuti's humor and his own brand of wit to keep things interesting, and in the process they'd both grown as artists and watched the other get better for their combined efforts.
They hadn't communicated outside of things related to the musicals initially. It had been just another job for Nagayan in the beginning, one that he would be participating in that also happened to be starring his closest friend, but a job nonetheless. If he were honest with himself he'd been somewhat resentful of the fact that he was coming into the group as a replacement for one of the other actors. He hadn't tried out for the musicals in the beginning like everyone else, and it was at Kimeru's suggestion that he audition for the role of Kikumaru Eiji when it was announced that a replacement needed to be found for Yamazaki Ichitarou, who was otherwise engaged with his own pursuits in television. Nagayan would never admit to the insecurity he'd felt at the time, knowing he was coming in to stand in someone else's shoes, someone who had been there and already established themselves within the group, who in fact had a partner he was required to perform alongside with. Nagayan had definitely not wanted to be hated for taking over the role, and he knew with the clarity of hindsight that he'd been a horrible brat to Tuti those first few months all because of his fear of being looked down upon.
He also knew that had it been anyone but Tuti, their friendship might never have formed at all. The guy was horribly persistent in his overtures of camaraderie and always in good humor, which in time had defrosted most of Nagayan's defenses and helped him to see that he wasn't being mocked or resented for taking the part. According to Kimeru, Tuti was actually happier with Nagayan in the role, though this was a rumor that he was hesitant to believe since Kimeru enjoyed his teasing mind games just as much as Nagayan did. But by the time they'd finished with the second showing of the first musical, Nagayan had felt much better about his place within the group, and had even been looking forward to the next musical which was already in the planning stages—his role as Kikumaru promised to be there and waiting for him when they returned.
But then Yanagi's accident had happened, and everything had been flipped and turned around in their haste to fill in the gaping hole that had suddenly appeared in their cast numbers. They needed someone who knew Ryoma's lines forwards and backwards and could sing the parts, so Kimeru had been bumped over to fill the role of the tennis prodigy. But that had left Fuji's role empty, so they'd moved Nagayan into those shoes and asked Yamazaki to come back for a three-week crash course of Kikumaru's role in the musical. Nagayan hadn't terribly minded the change at first, and had actually looked forward to getting to try on a different persona, even if he was attempting the daunting feat of filling Kimeru's shoes. He knew the lines, the songs, the steps, and he was confident he could do the character justice, though not be quite as flashy as Kimeru had a habit of being. What he hadn't counted on though, and really had never seen coming, was how much he'd missed being Kikumaru Eiji. As Fuji he'd been on his own, a singles player as it were, and he hadn't been prepared for how lonely it had felt when he was by himself in the spotlight, nor the realization of just how used he'd gotten to being part of a doubles team.
Even more shocking though, was when he realized he was jealous of Yamazaki.
Of course he hadn't acknowledged those feelings or put the pieces together at first. He'd never met Yamazaki before then, but something about the guy had rubbed him the wrong way from the very beginning. Yamazaki and Tuti had fallen back together like old friends, cracking jokes, singing off key and laughing about it, hanging out together during breaks at rehearsal, and for the first time Nagayan had felt well and truly alone. Oh he still had Kimeru, and everyone else was always there to talk to or horse around with, but something had gone missing during that period which he couldn't identify, or perhaps just didn't want to put a name to. Without even realizing what he'd been doing at the time, driven by a petty jealousy that even he hadn't fully understood, he'd basked in the attention that Takigawa Eiji had seemed more than happy to bestow upon him, being the new Fuji to his Tezuka. They'd never done anything, but there had been plenty of joking around, allowances of casual touching that you usually didn't see between two men, and enough hidden innuendo tossed around in jest to fill up a dorama for one whole season. Kimeru had always raised an eyebrow but kept skillfully silent, as though he was more amused than worried about Nagayan's uncharacteristic behavior and more than usual need for tactile attention.
It had been fun while it lasted, and the distraction did help to temporarily take away the uncomfortable tightness in his chest whenever he'd caught the tail end of Tuti and Yamazaki laughing together, but it wasn't until two months later when they'd begun rehearsals for Dream Live that Nagayan realized what exactly had been the cause of his behavior during those few months. By that point he'd been able to admit that he'd been jealous of Yamazaki, jealous of the role of he was playing and the promised companionship that came with it. Nagayan wasn't ready to go so far as to admit that he'd actually missed Tuti, but he knew he'd missed the support, and the rapport, and the company, and the jokes, and the feeling that he belonged to something slightly greater than himself. It wasn't until Yamazaki had taken it away from him, however unintentionally, that he'd realized just how much he'd come to enjoy it and look forward to being that other half.
And when it came time to be Kikumaru of the Golden Pair again, he hadn't been able to deny that it had felt like coming home.
But things had been different after that between he and Tuti, and so far Nagayan had been unable to put his finger on the exact reasons for the change. This time when they had come together to play their roles of Oishi and Eiji, Nagayan had been the outgoing, confident one full of jokes and laughter, while Tuti had been more subdued, attentive, and supportive. Nagayan had been really happy to be back where he had started, with the person he'd started with, and it seemed foolish to deny himself the happiness he was able to bask in by falling into his original role. He'd been secretly excited and delighted with the script for Dream Live after he'd read through and discovered just what the writers had set up for the Golden Pair. Nagayan liked flirting, liked the thrill of mind games, and especially loved a good tease when he was the one delivering it. They were basically handing him and Tuti the biggest tease of all to be played on the audience (because everyone knew just how doki doki the real Golden Pair were about each other), and Nagayan fully intended to play it up to the best of his ability and have fun while doing so. It sort of came as an added bonus that Tuti seemed genuinely embarrassed and flustered by the whole effort being put towards this part of the production. Tuti was far from being disgusted by playing the part of a man infatuated with his doubles partner, Nagayan knew he would have seen that in a heartbeat if it had been there, but a Tuti overcome by shyness was something he had never seen before. It was cute, funny, and just begging to be exploited in the worst way, and Nagayan had milked those moments during practice for all they were worth, and loved the newfound power he seemed to have over his stage partner.
What he hadn't counted on was the way it had gradually evolved into a game between them, one that that had grown right along with their resurrected friendship. Nagayan would tease Tuti whenever he got the chance, and if he worded and aimed his attacks right he'd get the guy to blush, or stammer at a loss for words before he could get a hold of himself. Most of the time Tuti was able keep up with Nagayan tease for tease, coming up with ever more outrageous double entendres or random outbursts, and he never failed to have that cocky smile ready for when one of them finally backed down or broke into laughter. It was fun, and a lot different than the way they'd been during their first stint as the Golden Pair, and Nagayan enjoyed the challenge of thinking up new ways to surprise and outsmart Tuti in their little verbal game. It had certainly made him more aware of the other guy, in the way one studies their opponent for signs of weakness or exploitation, and the more Nagayan watched and learned the closer they seemed to become. It had gotten to the point, especially after how much time they'd spent together working on the latest musical, that Nagayan was beginning to wonder what exactly was driving them to dance around each other in this ever tightening spiral, and when equilibrium was going to be reached.
Nagayan wasn't stupid or a stranger to friendships, and he knew that the pace he and Tuti had been traveling at over the last few months was one that could easily veer out of control and leave them with very messy and broken pieces to pick up afterwards. It was entirely possible that, had they stayed as the Golden Pair from the beginning, they would still have gotten to this point of speaking in hidden meanings and developing ploys for attention; but if he were honest with himself, Nagayan knew the chances of that happening were slim. It was his fault things had progressed this way, though Tuti was the furthest from an unwilling participant he'd ever seen, and in fact seemed happy to propagate the addition of new, twisted layers to their friendship. But Nagayan had been the one to start it all, and if not for his petty jealousy of Yamazaki, he would never have latched on to Tuti like a boy starving for attention the moment they'd been paired back together. He'd been very possessive and very manipulative, though Tuti hadn't seemed to mind in the least, and did seem to genuinely enjoy the attention and the strange relationship they'd adopted. But they'd never talked about it, not once, and Nagayan was very aware of the fact that there were big, necessary chunks missing from their friendship—holes that might never be filled if things continued to progress as they were.
Because there were secrets they still kept from each other, and those seemed to become even more numerous and noticeable the more they learned about each other. It was the unsaid things, the subjects that were passed over, the long pauses that sometimes happened when each of them found themselves lost in whatever thoughts had been brought up by an innocently spoken word. Nagayan wasn't resentful of the fact that there were things between them that hadn't been talked about, because he was just as guilty as Tuti for deliberately choosing not to mention certain things. Like how he'd been noticing for quite some time that Tuti had a habit of staring at him when his back was turned, and was doing it enough that Nagayan was sure he could feel the prickle of eyes on his back with surprisingly accuracy and frequency. He knew because he'd caught Tuti a few times while he was experimenting to prove his hunch right, and from there the weird things just seemed to pile on one after another. Somehow they always ended up being in the same room at the same time, or standing or sitting next to each other, and during stage rehearsals, every time without fail, they ended up gravitating across the stage towards each other without any kind of prior discussion about it. Sometimes it was Tuti who would seek him out, his smile and ready laughter promising to make things more interesting for awhile, and sometimes it was Nagayan looking for attention and a pair of dark eyes that seemed to only see him while they were in close proximity. It was disconcerting, thrilling, confusing, exciting, powerful, and scary all at the same time.
Now they were here, wedged close together on a couch in a karaoke lounge and being forced to listen to Kenn give his horrible rendition of Open Arms, something so badly mixed with Engrish and slurred Japanese that, had Journey been dead, Nagayan was sure they'd be rolling in their graves. Nagayan had a feeling he could already predict the winner of the competition by this point, though another shot or two of sake in Kimeru's stomach would do wonders for increasing Kenn's chances of winning. He smiled to himself, enjoying the mental image of that idea, before admitting with an inward shrug that it would require mustering up far more energy than he felt he could produce right now. A dress rehearsal in the morning, followed by a late lunch, an hour of hair and makeup, and then a two hour performance all combined with a steady flow of alcohol in his system was making him unusually lethargic and listless.
Still, Nagayan was torn between the desire to make a valiant attempt at moving or to simply let the stupor that had overtaken his body have its way, because when he'd slumped against the couch it had put his shoulder right up against Tuti's, a point of physical contact he'd been avoiding all night by sitting perched on the edge of his seat. But he'd forgotten about his new attachment when he'd fallen back, really he had, though at this point it seemed like too much effort to bother moving when, to tell the truth, he was pretty comfortable.
"Takashi, you okay?" a voice said right beside his ear, and Nagayan fought back a shiver. Damn lowered inhibitions.
He kept his eyes closed and half shrugged. "Yeah, fine, why?"
"You look tired. Want to leave?"
Nagayan cracked open his left eye, the one closest to Tuti, and opened his mouth to retort in the negative when a note sung horribly off key from the stage made him wince. "It's too early," he protested despite his discomfort. "They'll get mad if we just left."
Nagayan couldn't help but openly roll his eyes at the concern that stole over Tuti's face. He'd really become a lot more like Oishi over the last few months, a true hahaue for their group of children and misfits. "I'm fine, stop that. Just closing my eyes for a little bit. Quit worrying so much."
Tuti suddenly grinned in a familiar flash of teeth, and the sight made Nagayan relax marginally. He was better at dealing with a confident, playful Tuti than a serious and mothering one. "I'm just looking out for my doubles partner. He has a tendency to go overboard and will probably pass out from drinking too much."
"Uresai, quit making me out like a drunk. We're supposed to be drinking, it's a party. So we drink," Nagayan concluded, and made the exhausting effort to lift his glass and down the rest of the cup's contents.
Tuti laughed, but it was a private chuckle and much quieter than the sound that usually came from his throat, which would have undoubtedly drawn the attention of everyone in the room to their private couch. Sometimes Tuti could be abnormally tact when it came to preserving silence and privacy, and Nagayan wondered if anyone else had observed those moments when Tuti would go silent, brows creased in concentration, the normal smile oddly absent to be replaced by a solemn seriousness. What was strange was how at home, and natural, both states seemed to be for Tuti—the loud and laughing character and the man lost in his own inner thoughts. Neither state seemed to ever overlap with the other, and it was Tuti's unique gift for being able to spring effortlessly from one mode to the other that Nagayan found so interesting and worth watching. It was definitely something Nagayan had never been able to achieve and doubted he ever could.
Nagayan leaned away from the warmth against his arm and shook his empty glass in front of Tuti's smiling face. "Fill me up."
Tuti raised an eyebrow, but leaned forward to reach for one of the brown bottles of Asahi resting on the low table in front of them. "Do I get a please at least?" he asked, pausing to hold the bottle halfway to Nagayan's cup.
"No you don't, because everyone knows that Oishi is Kikumaru's bitch, so you have to do what I say without complaints or thank yous."
Tuti did laugh aloud then, the rich sound somehow unhindered by whatever alcohol he'd consumed. "Are you saying I'm your bitch, Takashi?"
"For now, yes," Nagayan replied decisively. He told himself that it was only the alcohol making his face feel warm.
"Even pets get a little praise and attention from their master," Tuti pointed out, but obediently refilled Nagayan's cup with what was left in the bottle.
Nagayan lifted his cup and sniffed at the bitter liquid before taking a long sip, attempting to loosen the small knot that was forming in his stomach. "Well, you know, you've been a bad pet. All evening. I don't know why I'm even talking to you."
Tuti adopted a wounded expression that Nagayan was absolutely sure was entirely fake. "Please forgive me then, ojisama, for presuming to be worried about your health. I will do my best to respectfully ignore you when you pass out in a pile of your own vomit."
"Uresai!" Nagayan laughed, never failing to be amused by Tuti's strange brand of sarcasm that was often even worse than his own. He could laugh easily because it was funny, and it was much easier to laugh than bother to correct him and admit that Tuti's constant presence all night was the real reason for leaving him unnerved.
Nagayan licked his dry lips and squinted at the far stage, where Kimeru and Kenn were involved in a small wrestling match for the mic. He laughed again. "If we're lucky they'll both end up drinking that nasty thing Sota made, then we won't have to listen to any more mating calls."
"Ow, that's mean," Tuti chided, but he was smiling. "But I think you're right. Okuchi's been waiting for his turn for awhile. He might step in and do something soon."
Nagayan snorted. "Never. He's way too nice. They only cast him cause he's pretty, but he's not even vain enough to play Tezuka. And he smiles too much. He actually apologized to Naoya when Moriyama and Sota almost made him cry cause he'd forgotten his running shoes again the other day. He hadn't even done anything! How lame is that. At least Takigawa was a vain narcissist that totally fit the role down to the size of his ego… and he was tall enough too."
Tuti's face lost a little of its smile, but his eyes were still amused. "Be careful Takashi, someone might listen to you and think you're actually praising people."
"Then they can get their ears cleaned out, cause you know I didn't say anything like that, baka."
"But you're so much sweeter and approachable when you're nice," Tuti persisted, and turned halfway in his seat so that they facing each other, his right arm bent and resting atop the cushion behind them. "Just think of how many fans you'd gain if you were a little bit nicer. I think last time we counted, Sota was getting just as much fanmail as you, which puts you dangerously close to losing your spot in the top five."
"That guy, he probably writes half of those and sends them to himself." Tuti laughed and Nagayan grinned under the attention. "Who cares about fans though? I have a dog that's gonna wait on me hand and foot all night and refill my drinks whenever I tell them to and clean up my puke after I pass out."
Tuti's smile broadened, eyebrows lifting toward the spiky mop of finger combed hair atop his head. "Wow. Do I know this unlucky guy? Sounds like a hard life for him to lead, and for such an ungrateful master- itai!"
Tuti rubbed his upper arm where Nagayan had lashed out and punched him. "And he's violent too!"
Nagayan made another half-hearted swing at Tuti, since his first one hadn't been that serious either—Tuti was just making a big deal out of nothing and acting like the sissy he always was whenever Nagayan took it upon himself to lay a few lumps into the taller guy. This time Tuti swatted away his approaching fist, and Nagayan pulled back to aim for another shot towards his chest. They were both smiling, and Tuti's hand shot out and grabbed Nagayan's wrist in midair, preventing it from inflicting any more menial harm. Nagayan scowled and tugged at the appendage, but Tuti only grinned and shifted his grip on the thin wrist so that it was locked firmly against the palm of his hand.
"Ma ma. That's no way to treat your pet, Takashi," Tuti said quietly, and his eyes were dark with something that suddenly made Nagayan's throat very tight and very dry. His fingers clenched and he realized that he still held his beer glass in his other hand. Nagayan lifted the cup to drink what was left and shrugged, counting the seconds against his rapid heartbeat while Tuti kept hold of his wrist.
"You can let go you big baby," Nagayan finally said in exasperation. Tuti released his arm and Nagayan leaned forward on the couch to set his empty cup on the table top, giving their bodies what he was sure was a little needed space.
Nagayan gazed around the large lounge, taking in the sight of a surly Kimeru who had relinquished the microphone to Okuchi, Kenn who lay passed out at Kimeru's feet, a trickle of something purple at the corner of his lips, Sota who had an arm around a blushing Naoya, a tangle of motionless limbs on the floor that he was sure belonged to Moriyama and Endou, the unbelievably large number of empty beer and sake bottles on the tables between them all, and realized that he really needed to pee. Sighing to himself, Nagayan mustered up what remained of his strength and propelled himself off the couch. As he rose to his feet he found the room suddenly pitching quite sickeningly, and he wobbled unsteadily when his knees turned out to be no better than sticks of jelly. Nagayan stumbled, inwardly cursed his lack of agility, and then felt a warm hand on settle on his back between his shoulder blades, the touch gentle and supportive as he was steadied and kept from toppling over onto his face.
Nagayan blinked and looked to the side, narrowing his eyes at Tuti's smug smile. "Aren't you supposed to be drunk?" he asked lamely.
"Not as much as you are," Tuti replied while taking him by the elbow, his other hand still on Nagayan's back. He led them past an obstacle course of bare feet, empty bottles, and dislodged couch cushions toward the room's only exit. Their departure was met with a few curious protests and some grumbling when people were forced to move to let them pass, but Tuti dissuaded most of the questions with a headshake and a reassuring smile. When they stepped into the empty hallway and the door closed behind them, Tuti paused, forcing Nagayan to stop too or lose his only source of balance.
"So where were you trying to go? Not planning on taking a walk I hope. I doubt you could get any further than the stairs, and then I'd get blamed for you getting injured and not being able to play in the next musical."
"There's no musical yet," Nagayan protested. He was starting to feel a bit feverish, and Tuti's hands on him were not helping things, which was making him cranky. "I have to pee."
"Oh, is that all? This way then ojisama, we passed the bathrooms on the way in." Tuti began to steer Nagayan in the right direction, but Nagayan grumbled in protest and wrenched his elbow from Tuti's light grasp before they could take more than two steps.
"I can walk fine myself," he insisted, extricating himself from Tuti's side. Nagayan lurched forward and stumbled, confused as to why his feet weren't cooperating and going where he told them to. He managed to take only a few awkward steps before his shoulder collided with one of the walls, and his hand sought purchase against the solid material as the hallway rocked in front of his vision like the deck of a boat caught in a tempest.
Nagayan felt Tuti reach his side before he saw him, and he caught the faint scent of Tuti's cologne mixed with alcohol and sweat as the hand was replaced on his back in a gesture that was becoming uncomfortably familiar. "Sure you can. Don't worry I won't tell anyone. They all think we left to find some place to make out anyway."
Nagayan choked in surprise, and heard Tuti laugh as he coughed for air. His face quickly grew warm, and he could feel the flush spreading from his cheeks straight to his ears and down his neck. Nagayan might have bothered to think up a suitable comeback had he been slightly less embarrassed, but every ounce of wit left him in that moment as Tuti's voice, words, and touch left a startlingly vivid image in his mind of things that were just-not-thought-of. Not about guys, and definitely not about his pervert of a partner. Left to his only device for defense against such a blatant insinuation, Nagayan focused on keeping his face averted from Tuti's perceptive eyes as he was guided to the bathroom.
When they reached the lacquered door marked with the appropriate sign, Nagayan stepped out from the warm circle of Tuti's arm, which had migrated during the walk to wrap supportively around his slim shoulders. He ignored the faint tremor which passed through his body as Tuti's fingers brushed near the back of his neck before falling away. He chanced glancing over his shoulder at Tuti, placing what he hoped passed as a wry smile on his face. "Not going to come in and hold my hand?"
Tuti shrugged and his lips quirked at their corners, teeth glinting. "Nah, I think you can take care of that on your own. Unless you really want me to…"
"Shut up, pervert," Nagayan interrupted, pushing heavily on the door so that it swung in. "But if I'm not out in 10 minutes, you can come look for me."
Tuti grinned. "Sounds fair. Just make sure you aim right and don't puke on the floor."
Nagayan snorted and shut the door on Tuti's face.
He didn't plan on taking his time in the bathroom, but after using the urinal Nagayan found himself lingering at the sink, letting the cold water pour over his hands and down the metal drain. Brown eyes framed by the uneven ends of finger styled hair looked back from his reflection, the pupils dilated a little larger than normal, long lashes rising and falling as he blinked and stared. There was still a faint trace of dark eyeliner around his eyes from the makeup he'd applied for the musical that hadn't washed off completely, and the skin on his face was a noticeable shade darker than normal thanks to the alcohol he'd consumed. Nagayan squinted at his reflection, seeing the slightly petulant visage of a young man scowl back at him. He sighed and bent to splash his face with a generous handful of the cold water. The liquid dribbled down his chin and neck and made the ends of his hair stick to his face, but it felt good against his heated skin, as though a small measure of sobriety had been returned to him.
He wondered if Tuti was still waiting in the hallway, or if he'd decided to go back to the room and leave Nagayan to fend for himself. Not that he would have minded the abandonment in the least, the guy was getting too close lately for his peace of mind. Usually Nagayan never minded physical attention, since frequently he was the one doling out the contact on unsuspecting people and getting a perverse thrill from their various, and often humorous reactions. But Nagayan had always shied away from touching Tuti casually, as if to do so would be crossing an unspoken line in their friendship—why having physical contact with Tuti should be so different than with anyone else, that was a question that he chose never to dwell upon too long. He knew consciously that he didn't want to know the answers that might be provided if he probed too deeply. Besides, they had plenty of contact during rehearsals and the musicals alone, and this last one had been especially… well, definitely touchier than the prior ones, which could explain why Nagayan had felt over the last few months as if his nerves were slowly unraveling out of his control. It was the first time Nagayan had considered resenting the characters they were playing and the blatant, sugary relationship they shared with each other when the staff made it clear they had decided to throw in everything short of an on-stage kiss… and why did Nagayan have the really awful, but believable thought that Tuti might not in the least have minded something along those lines? Definitely a topic not worth dwelling on, and for better or worse it was over with, at least until the next musical was finalized and they found out what new, evil plans were in store for their characters.
Nagayan didn't like feeling this level of insecurity and confusion, and lately around Tuti he never seemed to feel much besides that. Though that hadn't always been true. Besides Kimeru, Tuti was the only person who Nagayan felt safe being his real self around, and not the attention needing wise-cracker than he usually was. Tuti shared his sense of humor, while Kimeru was fond of admonishing Nagayan for his perverse jokes and tendency to tease, especially if he was on the receiving end, though both of them smiled at his jokes and seemed to enjoy his company. Despite being the one person who had the right to form the biggest expectations about Nagayan (having taken over his doubles partner's role), Tuti had been the only one to totally accept Nagayan as he was from the beginning, and in turn had gotten to know him better as a person and not as just a temporary filler for the character. The others had all come around eventually when it became apparent that he was going to be staying on a more permanent basis, but Nagayan never forgot what those first few summer months had been like, and the way Tuti had talked to him easily like he was an old friend. Nagayan had a strong need to succeed, to wow and astound and be recognized, and he remembered how badly he'd sought for that kind of attention during rehearsals for the second musical when Tuti had been taken away from his side, making him sure that he'd lost the fragile friendship which had begun to form. Nagayan didn't regret his actions from then, but he did know that he could have handled things better, and hindsight showed him how much it was his own fault for keeping away from Tuti, for assuming that the end of their partnership had also meant the end of their friendship.
But that was in the past, and since then their friendship had taken a weird but enjoyable rollercoaster ride which had somehow brought them to the present with a karaoke lounge full of their drunken friends and more half-formed questions floating around inside Nagayan's head than he cared to deal with. If he and Tuti had remained on opposite sides of the rooms for the evening, Nagayan knew he probably would have approached Tuti eventually for the familiar company, but being pressed up together all night had not been anywhere in his plans, and Nagayan was nearly dreading returning to the karaoke lounge and his empty seat next to Tuti. But if Tuti had gone back already there might be a chance for him to grab a spot somewhere else, maybe wedge himself between a few of the St. Rudolph guys now that they'd lost Kenn to Sota's mixer. If that failed there was always Kimeru, and Nagayan knew he could latch onto his best friend without any eyebrows being raised or people wondering at his sudden need to be near the pop singer. Tuti would respect that—or at least he hoped he would. Tuti had a notoriously bad habit of waltzing in and out of any circle of people without embarrassment or regard for the conversation he'd interrupted with his presence. Tuti had a gift of putting people at ease with just a smile or a well placed laugh, and no one would think it weird either if Tuti happened to be following Nagayan around the room as long as he stayed a moment to talk and crack a few well placed jokes before moving on.
Nagayan sighed, and knew he was doomed.
Nagayan left the small bathroom and was not surprised in the least to see Tuti leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed and his chin lifted as he watched some point on the wall to the right of the door. Tuti blinked and shifted his gaze to Nagayan's face, a smile that was more of a half-grin forming on his lips. "I thought you'd fallen in, Takashi. Was about to send in the paramedic squad to pull you out."
"Baka, only you'd think of something like that."
Tuti stepped away from the wall and crossed the hallway in two steps to stand in front of Nagayan, forcing the shorter man to look up. His eyes settled on the small mole that rested just beneath Tuti's left cheek, a beauty mark that Nagayan had noticed had the habit of disappearing into one of his dimples whenever Tuti smiled. Tuti lifted a hand and touched one of the wet clumps of hair that clung to Nagayan's cheek, making the shorter man shiver.
"How come your hair's all wet?"
Nagayan swallowed. "Washed my face."
Tuti's smile faded and his expression became full of concern and gentle understanding. His hand brushed Nagayan's face, fingers curling to glide across his temple as he checked for a temperature. "You don't feel sick?" he asked softly.
"No."
"Not dizzy or tired?"
"No."
"Do you want to go back?" Tuti's fingers combed through a few strands of Nagayan's damp hair, arranging them back into place.
Nagayan was silent. Tuti's hand was burning a trail of fire across his skin, lifting the fine hairs on his face and amassing a patchwork of goosebumps down his bare arms.
"Takashi?"
Nagayan really liked how his name sounded when Tuti said it, and he was the only one who did it too. Nagayan leaned up and forward to place a soft kiss on Tuti's lips, just a gentle touch that made him hold his breath for a few seconds.
When he pulled back Tuti had the cutest, confused expression on his face, like he'd just been hit with a water balloon and had no idea where it had come from. They watched each other in silence for nearly a minute, before Tuti's eyes cleared and he smiled, just a little bit, and Nagayan was suddenly aware of how fast his heart was beating. Then Tuti grinned wider before leaning down to kiss him.
Tuti's breath smelled strongly of alcohol, and Nagayan was sure his wasn't any better, so it didn't matter much as they kissed with a slow, almost cautious tenderness that Nagayan hadn't known either of them were capable of. Tuti's lips were dry but soft, and so painfully gentle that Nagayan wanted to melt and beg for more at the same time. He settled for licking Tuti's bottom lip with his tongue until Tuti's lips obediently parted, letting Nagayan's tongue slip inside to taste the mix of beer, sake, and something vaguely sweet which lay within.
Tuti's hand had returned to touching the side of his face, and now the hand turned to cup Nagayan's jaw and neck, holding him as their tongues met, stroked, and tasted each other. Tuti walked them backwards until Nagayan felt his back meet the wall, and his arms lifted to circle around Tuti's trim waist beneath the light overshirt he wore, feeling warm skin shiver and twitch beneath the cloth under his fingers. He pulled Tuti closer, bringing their bodies near enough that the fabrics of their shirts whispered against each other, and their chests met in the lightest of touches that made Nagayan tremble from the contact.
They were both growing short of breath as the kiss continued, tongues swapping spit between their mouths and noses bumping as the kiss took a passionate turn, becoming something deep and intoxicating that Nagayan thought felt better than anything the alcohol had ever done for him. Why had he waited so long to do this? Tuti's mouth was warm and tasted like lychee the deeper Nagayan pushed in with his tongue. His lips were soft, and they fit together nicely, like it wasn't weird or wrong for him to be kissing another guy in the hallway and enjoying it more than any other kiss he'd had in his lifetime.
Tuti was the first to pull back, but his arms had moved and were now circled around Nagayan's waist, both hands resting on the curve of his lower back. He stayed close and looked down at Nagayan like he was seeing something on his face for the first time, but then it changed and Tuti smiled in that familiar way which made Nagayan's throat tighten by how much joy and life he could see in that simple expression.
"You're really drunk," Tuti pointed out, his dark eyes gleaming with amusement.
"So are you," Nagayan retorted, and moved in for another kiss.
Tuti complied and kissed him back, but it was disappointingly quick and he pulled back much too soon for Nagayan's liking. "Don't you think it's dangerous to be doing this out in the hallway where anyone can walk by?"
"Hmm, don't care. Just tell them to go away."
Tuti smiled fondly and stepped back, pulling Nagayan with him. His arms left Nagayan's waist and took his wrist in hand, much like he had earlier, and he turned to lead them down the hallway back the way they'd come. Nagayan found he could walk easier than before, but his breath was coming out short and fast like he'd been working out and his blood pounded loudly through his veins and temples, making him feel light headed. Tuti walked them past their room and stopped to open another door further down the hall, pulling Nagayan into the darkened space beyond, the skin on his hand tingling where Tuti was touching him.
Dim theater lights circled the ceiling of the small room, which was less than one-quarter the size of the lounge they'd rented for their group karaoke session. It was bare and clean inside, with one low table and two couches with room enough to fit three people each, wedged into an L shape at the corner. Tuti sat down on one of the couches and Nagayan went down with him at the gentle tug on his wrist, which put him conveniently half sprawled across Tuti's lap, one arm over Tuti's shoulder on the back of the couch and the other next to his hip on the opposite side.
Tuti chuckled deeply in the back of his throat when Nagayan wasted no time in kissing him again, and their tongues met each other halfway, licking and pushing for entrance into the other's mouth. Tuti relented first and let Nagayan's tongue slide fully into his mouth, and they both moaned softly at the shiver of electricity that went through them from the touch and the taste of being so close together. Nagayan rose up on his knees to deepen the kiss, licking and exploring the warm depths of Tuti's mouth as if searching for a particular taste and leaving no crevice unexplored in the process. Both of Tuti's arms moved to encircle the man above him, his hands coming to rest on Nagayan's jean covered hips, fingers digging gently into the skin and material and making Nagayan groan at the touch.
Nagayan slowly shifted his position on the couch until he was straddling one of Tuti's thighs, his knee now pressed into the cushion between Tuti's legs. It brought their chests back into contact, and Nagayan slowly slid against Tuti's body, feeling the strong planes of a chest hardened by training and years of dancing, not unlike his own body, rub against his with delicious friction. But where Nagayan was slim and lithe with muscle, Tuti was strong and lean, muscles cut and defined and possessing a flexibility that he knew rivaled his own. Tuti was, Nagayan thought decisively and happily, very sexy.
Nagayan licked Tuti's wet lips and played with his tongue, enjoying the kiss and the responses he was wringing from his stage partner. He could hear the sound of his breathing coming out short and labored through his nose as the knot of lust and arousal inside him built with a heady intensity. Tuti's hands were moving possessively up and down his back, pushing aside his shirt to touch the bare skin underneath, and Nagayan shivered each time one of those fingers trailed down his spine and paused at the top of his jeans before moving back up again, a little higher each time. Nagayan's arms were around Tuti's shoulders, bracing himself on the back of the couch cushions, and he moved one of his hands to run it across Tuti's shoulder and collar bone, enjoying the way Tuti's breath caught and sped up when he fingered the bare skin at the junction of his neck. Nagayan's hand ventured lower, pressing and feeling the muscles that jumped at his touch, until he finally located a nipple through the cotton shirt Tuti was wearing and gave it a small tweak. Tuti bucked in surprise and gasped into their mouths, momentarily breaking the kiss, then boldly countered by quickly sliding his hand up under Nagayan's shirt and pinching one of his nipples in return.
Nagayan moaned and bit his bottom lip, breathing heavily as he watched Tuti through hooded eyes glazed with alcohol and lust. Tuti looked equally as flustered and turned on, and his hand stayed under Nagayan's shirt as he absently toyed with the skin around his nipple, offering a small grin between them.
"Do you know what we're doing, Takashi?" he asked quietly, though by his expression it seemed like any answer Nagayan gave would amuse him.
"Mm, making out," Nagayan replied, leaning into the touch on his chest and pouting when Tuti's hand shied away from touching his nipple again.
"But why are we making out?" Tuti persisted. He leaned forward and gently mouthed a spot of skin just under Nagayan's chin, giving it and his neck a series of short, wet nibbles with his lips and tongue.
Nagayan moaned softly and pressed down on the thigh between his legs, his jeans having long ago become uncomfortably tight across his crotch and making him ache for some form of release. Tuti chuckled against his neck and slid his hands unhindered beneath Nagayan's shirt, tracing the muscles of his stomach and back with a kind of tender reverence that Nagayan wasn't used to observing from the other man. Tuti continued exploring Nagayan's neck until he found a particularly sensitive spot that made a noticeable tremor go through his body, and Tuti played with the spot with his tongue and lips for many long seconds while Nagayan whimpered and panted.
Reluctantly, Tuti gave the spot one last, adoring lick before pulling back to look at Nagayan. Tuti was smiling, but his eyes were heavy and dark, unreadable, and the sight of them made Nagayan pause halfway to leaning in for another kiss. He cocked his head to the side, wondering at the change, and felt Tuti's hands move under his shirt to wrap around his back in a loose hug.
"Takashi? You're okay with this?"
"No," Nagayan answered honestly, and was smugly pleased to see the confusion and slight hurt that flashed across Tuti's face. "But it seemed stupid to fight it at this point. I'm gonna go insane if I have to live with thinking about kissing you all the time and not doing anything about it. You're such a perv all the time, giving me bad thoughts. I don't even like guys, you know."
Tuti smiled, looking relieved. "I don't like guys either. But I do like you, a lot. I just never thought… well all this would happen. I've been trying not to think about it for awhile."
"You too, huh?" Nagayan smiled, feeling proud for having taken the initiative. "Kime was right I guess, though I didn't believe him for a minute. He told me I had to do something but I kept telling him to shut up and let it go."
"Kimeru knows about this?" Tuti looked surprised, then laughed, his chuckles making their chests bump against each other.
"He just thinks he knows, but he doesn't know," Nagayan corrected. "And I'm not gonna tell him he was right. You're not going to either!" Nagayan poked Tuti's nose for emphasis, but Tuti was faster and grabbed the digit with his lips, giving it a quick suck and a lick.
"So we're keeping this secret?" Tuti asked after he released Nagayan's finger, grinning at the glazed expression of lust that had crossed over his face while watching his finger disappear into Tuti's mouth.
Nagayan blinked, then sighed, feeling his headache from earlier come back stronger than it had been before now that he'd lost most of his arousal and the conversation had turned serious. Then, because he could, he curled against Tuti's chest and laid his head on the other man's shoulder, breathing in Tuti's scent of cologne and sweat and something musky that was uniquely him. "I guess so," he muttered, lips pouting unconsciously.
Tuti rubbed his back soothingly and pressed a soft kiss to Nagayan's forehead. "Kimeru will probably know even if we don't tell him or do anything. He's really creepy like Fuji like that."
"I know, the jerk."
Tuti laughed and gave Nagayan a brief, tight hug before letting him go. He helped Nagayan get to his feet and wrapped an arm around his shoulders that, this time, felt absolutely right in being there, even though it still made Nagayan's stomach twist and flutter when Tuti's fingers gripped the bare skin on his upper arm. Nagayan leaned into the embrace as Tuti guided them from the room, letting his eyes droop nearly closed to block out the soft neon light in the hallway. It took only a few steps to bring them back to their original room, and Nagayan reluctantly moved away as Tuti's arm dropped from around his back. They gave each other matching, small smiles that seemed to speak much more than words at that point, and Nagayan could easily read the meaning behind those dark eyes he'd somehow fallen in love with.
We're okay, this is fine, this is better than anything else, and we're going to act normal until we can be together again.
And if for the rest of the night they sat a little bit closer than they had before, and if Tuti laughed a bit louder and Nagayan smiled a bit more, and if they shared a few more casual touches than was strictly necessary between two guys, no one said anything—or maybe they knew there was nothing to say at all, except for maybe a quick omedeto once the cat was out of the bag, whenever that happened. But for now they were happy to play the game, and content to be proud that Seigaku's real life Golden Pair had finally found each other.
Glossary of Japanese:
"Suigan no Ai" – "Drunken Love"
Aniki – Older brother
Baka – Idiot
Doki doki – The sound of the heart beating, usually associated with feelings of love
Dorama – Drama (Japanese Soap opera)
Hahaue – Mother
Ichinen – First year
Ii yo – Fine then
Itai – Ouch
Karaoke – Do I really need to say?
Kyoudai - Siblings
Ma ma – Hey hey
Minna, arigatou – Thank you everyone
Ojisama – Prince
Omedeto – Congratulations
Sake – Strong Japanese alcohol
Sayonara – Goodbye (with finality)
Tsugi – Next
Uresai – Shut up
Yada – No more
