DISCLAIMER: THE CHARACTERS OF SVU BELONG TO DICK WOLF AND NBC UNIVERSAL…JUST BORROWING THEM FOR FUN.
Author's Note: This story is similar to my other story "Long Goodbye". I wanted to do a songfic, though I don't really like them but India Arie's song just inspired so much I had to use it. This was is not a songfic and is a bit different. Read them both if you want and let me know which you like better. I hope you enjoy.
Rated M for language and content.
When Olivia gets off her elevator she sees a familiar figure sitting on the floor next to her apartment. He's grown a goatee and wears black jeans, a black t-shirt and a black leather jacket. If she didn't know him, she would've drawn on him. He looks as if he's been doing nothing but working out and eating protein. He's more toned, more defined, dangerous…and sexy.
Upon hearing the ding of the elevator his head pops up and they lock eyes. She approaches her door with keys immediately in hand intent on a very short conversation with him.
"Go away Elliot." She tells him. "I have nothing to say to you." She adds putting her keys in the lock.
"I know I don't deserve it, by I need to talk to you." He says at her back. She turns on him immediately, getting right in his face.
"You need." She begins. "You need." She says once again narrowing her eyes. "What about what I needed?" She adds with a rising voice.
Elliot stuffs his hands in his pockets nervously knowing she wasn't going to be easy to deal with.
"Please Olivia, keep your voice down." He says looking around to see if anyone had opened their door.
Realizing he was right she took a breath and lowered her voice. "I needed to hear back from my partner months ago but that didn't happen." She tells him turning to open her door. "And Cragen had to be the one to tell me I no longer had a partner, so fuck you and have a nice life." She whispered before entering her apartment.
When she feels his hand on her shoulder she turns and gives him an expected slap across his face. He stands there momentarily stunned. Though she's wanted to, she had never actually hit him before.
She tries to slam the door in his face but he walks in immediately behind her pushing his way inside.
"What the hell do you think you're doing Elliot?" She says removing her gun holster and shield and throwing her jacket to the floor.
"Please just let me explain." He says calmly, stepping towards her with his palms up trying to show her he doesn't want to argue.
"You barge your way in here after ignoring me for months and now you wanna have a conversation?" She seethes going to her front door to open it. "Get the fuck out Elliot."
"Olivia." He says making no movement towards the door. "Just give me five minutes."
"I was your partner for twelve years and you just left so I don't owe you shit." She pops off pointing a finger at him.
"Please." He says desperately, searching her eyes for any hint of mercy.
She could never resist him asking her for anything. Olivia closes the door once again leaning against it. "Five minutes Elliot…and then I want you gone." She tells him crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm listening."
"First…I'm sorry Cragen was the one to tell you." He begins pacing. "But I just can't do it anymore."
"Yeah I got that." She responds sarcastically. "You have four minutes and thirty seconds left." She adds looking at her watch impatiently.
"You know all the hoops they wanted me to jump through." He tells her sincerely. "And in the end they would've taken it from me anyway or transferred me out." He continues taking a seat on her sofa. "I couldn't take that."
"So this job…this partnership wasn't worth fighting for?" She asks knowing what she's really questioning is why he doesn't think she was worth the effort.
"Yes Liv, but I'm so…tired…of fighting." He says without hesitation, getting her true meaning. "I lost something when I killed Jenna." He reveals. "I can't do it anymore with that in my head." He adds scrubbing his hands over his face.
"Why don't you talk to someone Elliot." She advises, sitting next to him her anger slowly dissipating.
"I already have." He reveals to her as she notices his naked ring finger but chooses to say nothing. "It's helped me work through a lot of things but ending her life…that's gonna take some time."
"I understand." She tells him nodding and getting up from the sofa. "Then I guess…this is goodbye." She adds returning to her front door.
"It's not Liv." He tells her. "We'll still see one another." He tries to convince her.
"You know without the pretense of the job that we won't Elliot." She says opening the door. "Between time spent with your family and my crazy work hours…you know better."
He gets up slowly not wanting to believe the truth of what she was saying to him. She knows he's not okay with it but for her own sanity and self preservation, she has to say goodbye to her best friend.
So she waits at the door for him to walk through praying that her tears will hold until she is alone again.
Elliot walks slowly towards the door stopping and turning to face her, staring into her eyes with an almost unbearable hurt. And like any onlooker of a car wreck, she can only stare back.
He takes a daring step towards her laying a rough callused hand against her cheek. Olivia can no longer reign in her emotions as one lone tear manages to snake its way down her face. He brushes it away with his thumb and brings the other hand up to cup her face.
To make things easier for them both she feigns anger and pulls away from him. "Goodbye Elliot." She says harshly before walking away. "Close the door behind yourself."
When she turns away he slams the door shut causing her to flinch and to her surprise is still on her side of the threshold.
"I got a minute left." He says.
Then he spins her around grabs her face and presses his lips to hers kissing her passionately.
Elliot puts over a decade of resisting temptation, the pain of his sudden departure and the love he has for her into that one soul searing kiss. Olivia feels it all so strongly that she's moved to tears. She can't help but return the kiss resting her hands against his chest.
Somewhere she finds the strength to push him away realizing that an intimate knowledge of her partner will only aid in her heartache.
"What are you doing to me?" She whispers against his lips.
"I'm not…saying…goodbye to you Olivia." He says almost angrily resting his forehead against hers. "I don't want things to end like this." He adds threading his hands through multiple shades of soft brown tresses.
"Well I'm not giving you a choice." She says callously, pulling herself from his grasp trying to fortify her heart against him. "Your five minutes are up."
"I know you're pissed but is this how you wanna say goodbye?" He asks getting in her face.
"What the hell do you want me to say Elliot?" She questions him not backing down. He often tried to use his physical size to intimidate suspects. But Olivia wasn't one of them. "You're the one who left."
"Since when do you hold your tongue?" He says narrowing his eyes at her. "You're angry Olivia so why don't you just get it the fuck out of your system." He adds in a low rumble.
She stands there so incensed that her chest is heaving. "If my hand didn't still hurt I would." Olivia grinds out, clenching and unclenching her fists. She definitely wants to hit him again. Maybe a punch this time.
"What the hell's wrong with your other hand?" He asks taunting her.
With the question barely out of his mouth Olivia brings her left fist up only to have Elliot grab her wrist and pull her body to his.
She's suddenly filled with a variety of conflicting emotions. Yes she's angry that he's abandoned her. But she's also sad and hurt. And because of her abrupt proximity, their innate closeness and her suppressed desires she is also…excited.
Elliot sees the shift in her eyes and waits. For a moment they just stare at one another and listen to each other's rapid breathing. He has her pinned against the hard planes of his chest and the smell of him is intoxicating.
An instant later she's grabbing his face and kissing him angrily. His hands instantly surround her back. Her tongue invades his mouth insistent upon tasting him completely. She ends the kiss biting his lower lip nearly drawing blood.
Olivia tries to pull away from him having taken a her rage out on his now bruised lips. But the look on his face when she pulls back and the grip he has on her tells her he isn't letting her go.
Elliot's eyes have darkened to an intense storm laden shade of blue. Unlike the wide range of emotions she's feeling, she knows by the way his body has responded to hers that he feels only one thing. Her partner…her ex-partner…wants her.
They are both breathing like bulls before a charge and Olivia can feel her heart racing and knows his is doing the same.
Then…they both snap.
He kisses her just as ruthlessly before he continues his assault on her skin behind her ear and down her neck. She yanks his head back to kiss him again before stripping his t-shirt from his body and throwing it to the floor.
Now realizing he is dealing with a part of Olivia Benson that he's only glimpsed, his eyebrows raise in surprise.
But only for a moment.
His eyes narrow at her again before going to her and ripping her blouse open and throwing it to the floor with his t-shirt, exposing her ample cleavage wrapped in baby blue satin and lace. He licks his lips in anticipation.
"You're paying for that shit tomorrow." She manages before pushing him into the closest wall and attacking his lips again.
His hands roam her body hungrily before they grip her ass lifting her as she instinctively wraps her legs around his waist.
She can feel him solid and unyielding beneath her. Olivia grinds against him at a torturous pace not sure if she isn't tormenting herself more.
Elliot kicks open her bedroom door and unceremoniously deposits her onto the bed. He divests her of her shoes throwing them across the room. Her pants are next as he strips them from her and then his own. They don't even bother pulling the covers back.
Then something with him changes as if he's realized it's their first and likely their last time together. He caresses her thighs before sliding her matching baby blue satin and lace panties down the length of her legs.
Olivia doesn't want him to be tender with her. She doesn't want him to slow down because this is supposed to be the kind of sex where she uses him, kicks him out and refuses to take his phone calls. They aren't supposed to be making love.
She rolls them over so that she's on top and leans back onto her knees to remove her bra.
"God you're beautiful." He says reaching up to thread his fingers through her hair.
And just like that the frenzied angry carnal desire she was intent on holding onto is gone. In it's place she feels exactly what she didn't want to knowing she'd rarely if ever see him again. She loves him and he sees the change.
He flips them again resting on top of her with his elbows on either side. Elliot slowly caresses her collar bone before kissing her tenderly this time.
He moves his mouth to place warm moist kisses down her neck and it's all she can do not to tear up. He continues kissing a shoulder before lavishing attention on one breast with his mouth and the other with his hand.
She's thinking she should stop this, stop him but when she opens her mouth to speak…only her moans manage to escape.
"Elliot." She begins but doesn't get too far when she feels one then two of his fingers creating a sweet friction with the most intimate parts of her.
Minutes later she tries again but only manages a "Son of a bitch," before the first waves of her orgasm hit.
Elliot lets her ride it out before she feels him kissing his way down her abdomen. He pulls her knees upward placing the same warm wet kisses on the insides of her thighs before tasting her.
As she fists the sheets of her bed she knows that the muscles of his tongue are every bit as strong and skillful as those of his arms and chest. Her second orgasm agrees.
After she recovers he whispers in her ear, "You taste so good." Words escape her. Olivia has never before been emotionally tormented and physically pleasured. It is an intense combination and he isn't finished.
He suckles her neck creating marks she's sure no amount of makeup will cover while she's divesting him of his grey boxer briefs. Then he buries himself so deeply with his first drive that she has to bite down on his shoulder to keep from screaming his name.
With every plunge, with every stroke she meets him with one of her own. He threads his fingers through her hair as she caresses his back and their breathing becomes erratic and labored as the pace increases.
He holds on through her third orgasm and follows shortly behind selflessly waiting for her release.
After finishing they lay facing each other, holding one another twining their legs together. Elliot reaches up and sweeps her sweaty, matted hair out of her face like she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He smiles at her.
"I love you so much." He says and again she's fighting tears.
"Then why are you breaking my heart." She says, her voice breaking with emotion as the tears fall.
"Oh Liv." He begins. "I'm not leaving you…just the job. Haven't I made that clear?" He asks wiping her tears before making soothing circles on her back.
"I thought this was goodbye El." She reveals. "I see your ring is gone but…"
He just smiles at her again before placing a finger over her mouth to stop her.
"Divorced people don't wear rings Liv." He informs her. "I would never make you the other woman." He adds before kissing he chastely on her forehead.
Olivia closes her eyes momentarily at the sweet gesture. She isn't bothering to tell him she's sorry because she's really not and they don't lie to one another.
"Are we clear now or do I need to show you again?" He asks knowing she can feel that he's ready for round two.
"Show me." She says throwing her leg over his pulling him closer to her before kissing him enthusiastically.
The next morning after she's showered and dressed for work wearing a high collared shirt to cover his love bites, he hasn't moved from his spot.
He lays across her bed on his stomach unashamedly naked. Olivia takes a moment to appreciate the uncovered ass she's admired from afar for as long as she's known him.
Elliot has buried his head beneath her pillows in an attempt to keep out the sunlight streaming through her window.
She can't believe he's actually in her bed and has to smile to herself. Olivia crosses the room and smacks him on the ass waking him up knowing he doesn't have to be anywhere.
"Benson." He growls out enunciating both syllables and keeping his head buried.
"You gonna stay in bed all day Stabler." She asks standing with her hands on her hips admiring the muscles of his back.
"Yes." He responds in the same raspy voice.
Then she makes the mistake of trying to remove a pillow. He turns ninja quick, grabs her and pulls her on top of him.
"Good morning." He says in a low rumble she now recognizes as seduction.
"No El." She says trying to push herself up. "You will not make me late."
He trails kisses down her neck unbuttoning her shirt as he goes. Elliot gets three buttons open before she comes to her senses and succeeds at pushing herself off of him.
"If I'm still in this bed when you get home it's your fault." He says letting her up and folding his arms behind his head still not bothering to cover himself. "I think you tried to kill me last night."
"You're lucky I didn't shoot your ass with all you've put me through." She tells him covering him with a blanket before he makes her really late for work. It puts a cocky grin on his face that she has to do it.
"I think I apologized enough last night Benson." He begins. "But if you want me to I can do it again right now." He adds waggling his eyebrows.
She laughs and shakes her head knowing she's created a monster. "I can see that." She says gesturing at the bulge under her cover. "But I have a new partner to break in so I have to get going."
"Wait." He says getting up and tucking her blanket around his waist approaching her. "I meant what I said last night Liv. It wasn't just pillow talk, I do love you."
"I know Elliot." She says grinning and putting her arms around his neck. "And I love you too."
He just smiles and tightens his arms around her. "Good." He says before kissing her passionately.
After they break apart she adds. "But you're still paying for that shirt."
She leaves her apartment that day smiling for the first time in a very long time. Olivia knows that being with him isn't going to be easy, but she knows just as she knows her favorite color is blue that it'll be worth it.
The End.
