The dim candle lights... The soft jazz music... The warm, crackling fireplace... Everything is perfect. I look around at the romantic scenery I've set up, very proud of my hard work. I adjust my bow tie and eye my date from across the table. Such beauty...

"You look stunning," I say with a sparkle in my eye. "I hope you feel the same about me." I look down at my naked body with confidence; I just took a bath and look quite refreshing, if I say so myself. It's been awhile since I've taken a bath. Usually, I only bathe for special occasions. I'm so glad I bathed because my cleanliness compliments my black bow tie. Looking back up at my date, I flash a smile. Sadly, I haven't received a response. It's too bad...

"Your dinner is ready," a dull-looking Natsu says, putting a plate of fish on my fancy table. I'm horrified by the sight.

"Natsu!" I exclaim. "How could you be so insensitive?!" I worriedly look at my date. "It's okay," I assure. "Natsu will take this back immediately." I hear a growl.

"Look, Happy," Natsu snaps. "You have forced me to wear this stupid tie and forced Lucy- who is really tired, I might add- to make you dinner for a stupid date that is going nowhere! Just eat the damn fish!" His words shake me up and tears form in my eyes.

"Natsu..." I whine. "Please..." My friend's face softens and I can see him feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry, buddy," Natsu apologizes. "I'll go help Lucy cook something else for you. " With that, he picks up the plate of fish and heads back to the kitchen where I hear Lucy groan in frustration.

I look back at my date apologetically. "I'm really sorry about that." I say. "I didn't know Natsu was going to serve us fish. It did look really tasty, though..." I stare hard at my date. I don't think I can hold myself back anymore.

"Ohhh I can't help it!" I exclaim. I then reach across the table, pick up my date, and take a huge bite out of my date's head. "You just looked so delicious! Mmm I love fish!"


You didn't see that coming, did you?