AN: If you saw the premier episode and like me was happy and sad once John got his new job and miss Carter as much as I do this is for you. It does contain a bit of a spoiler from Season 4 but you honestly didn't have to watch it or anything since it's nothing big and I'm basically telling you one detail. As usual all mistakes are mines and I don't own anything if we did CaReese would be a married with babies and no one would have died. Enjoy

No one really bothered to ask John why he never stayed at his desk for long. His captain thought he was trigger happy, Fusco thought he was being disrespectful, Finch thought he was working numbers and Shaw probably assumed he was bored. While there were little truth in each none was the real reason.

It wasn't his desk it was Joss'

From the first time John laid eyes on the beautiful Detective Jocelyn "Joss" Carter he was intrigued. Not only was she former military like himself she was the first person to look past his smell and appearance and offer him help.

Joss was the one who changed him and saved him from himself. Though they met in an interrogation room it quickly became a habit, on his free time, for John to watch Joss as she worked cases at her desk.

Now John's new name was on the desk with the very title Joss herself barely got to enjoy having back before she died in John's arm. As hard as it was to keep his promise everyday was just a reminder she wasn't coming back.

Joss' desk was no longer hers.

So John tried to avoid using Joss' desk as much as possible. He ran the streets looking for numbers even when he knew he was suppose to be working and interviewed people in interrogation rooms as much a possible.

Even during his mandatory desk duty he stayed out and about looking at crime scenes and talking to other detectives anything to stay busy. John knew he couldn't keep running away.

No matter how far he ran he had to return to Joss' desk where even after a year later it still faintly smelled like lavender.