So Far Away
This is my life
It's not what it was before
Daryl sat in the watch tower, lazily looking over the fields of walkers milling about, his fingers fidgeting ten ways from Sunday. He didn't even notice that he was stroking his crossbow, or toying with the hem of his angel wing vest, or picking at a hangnail; these were everyday occurrences for him nowadays.
Sometimes, when he was left to his own thoughts, as he was now, he wondered how this whole outbreak had started. Where had the disease come from? How had it spread so quickly? Was this really God's divine plan, as Hershel had sometimes said, or was this just some random natural disaster? He never could find the answers.
Sometimes he would think about the past, back when things were "normal." If he were being honest, he didn't much care for those memories; he actually preferred the present state of the world to what it had been. This life was easier for him, considering his background. Hunt, gather, kill, defend, survive. Simple principles put into practice. Before this had started things had been so much more complicated, everything dominated by money. People killed for money, did plenty of other stupid things for money, and if you didn't have enough of it you weren't really worth much in society's eyes. Truthfully, Daryl was glad that those stupid green pieces of paper were no longer worth anything.
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Daryl was almost completely lost in thought, when a soft knock sounded on the tower's door. He'd closed it for a little bit of privacy, and it seemed to help keep some of the summer's heat out of the cramped room.
"S'open." He called out, barely throwing a glance over his shoulder to see who it was.
Daryl's eyes widened slightly to see Carol's slight face peek in from behind the door. She looked nervous, and her face was flushed a light pink, though that was probably just from having to climb up the tower's stairs in this heat.
"Um, hi." Carol spoke softly, giving Daryl a gentle smile as she entered the room fully. "I brought you some water. Thought you might need it up here, since the temperature seems to be rising pretty steadily."
Daryl nodded to himself, giving a tilt of her head as a way of inviting her in. He hadn't really noticed the temperature, though now that Carol was in here with him it seemed to have spiked about a hundred degrees.
Carol wasn't what you'd call "hot." She wasn't a twenty year-old with flowing, wavy blond hair and tits that made the moon look small; however, she was beautiful in her own way, and Daryl couldn't help but notice that loveliness every time she was nearby.
Carol had clearly had some form of figure, back in the day; you could tell by the way her waist dipped inward before curving around her hips. Her salt-and-pepper hair had grown in the recent months, and now there were tendrils of it curling gently on her neck; Daryl wondered sometimes what it would feel like to run his fingers through those strands. Her eyes were the green of grass in springtime, and held such clarity that it stunned him. After all this woman had suffered through her eyes still showed just how strong she was now, and how happy she was just to have a place in this world, and that was one of the most gorgeous things about her.
"Thanks," Daryl mumbled, his fingers brushing the back of his hand as he took the water bottle from her. Her skin was so soft, so smooth, despite all the work she'd done for the group, and some part of him wanted to know if the rest of her skin felt that silky.
"Would you mind if I sat with you for a while? The prison is getting a bit boring." Carol giggled softly, those eyes piercing through him.
He shrugged, taking a swig from his bottle, and tried not to watch the way her legs moved, so gracefully, as she sat down beside him on the counter that was built into the wall.
Daryl had never had a steady girlfriend before. He'd had a few flings in his early teens and twenties, but they took no more space in his heart and mind than his dead father did, and he never remembered their names the next morning. He didn't know how love was supposed to work, or what it was supposed to feel like, but he was pretty certain that the butterflies that always seemed to flutter through him when he looked at Carol were a telltale sign. He wished he weren't so awkward, because maybe then he would be able to hold a steady conversation with the woman, and tell her how he felt for her.
Daryl wanted to look into the woman's eyes, hold her hand, and say "Carol, I like you," even if that did seem a bit cliché. But he was almost certain that she would reject him in some way, probably even with the old "I think of you as a friend/brother" line he'd heard on the rare occasions he did find a girl he'd liked, and so he stayed silent, staring at the walkers below.
Somebody shake me
'Cause I
I must be sleeping
"Daryl, can I… can I tell you something?" Carol whispered, her eyes focused intently on the bottle in her hands.
Daryl raised his head to look at her, and immediately noticed that her cheeks were colored an even brighter pink than when she came in.
"Go 'head." He whispered back to her, involuntarily leaning forward slightly to hear her better.
Her eyes darted to him, looking up through her lashes, and Daryl felt his breath hitch in his throat. She was just so damn cute, this little woman; she would probably be the death of him.
"This is probably going to sound kind of weird, but… well, we've known each other for a long time, and you've done so much for me. I just wanted to tell you… that I love you, Daryl. Not just like a friend, because of course I love you that way, too, but as more than that. I know you probably don't feel the same, and that's alright, but in this world you have to take chances before they're gone." Carol averted her gaze from Daryl's as she spoke, her voice coming out in a rush towards the end. She felt kind of silly now that it was all out in the open, but it was much too late to turn back now; may as well let the chips fall where they may.
Daryl sat back, his eyes wide with surprise. He had the vague thought to pinch himself, just to see if he were dreaming. Had Carol really just said the words he'd been longing to say for too long? Did she really like him the same way he liked her?
His silence grew, as did hers, and the tension between them could have been cut with a knife.
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle that we thought was in vain
In all the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
The longer Daryl stayed silent the more stupid Carol felt, until she was sure she'd made a fool of herself. She was just about to leave, when suddenly Daryl was right there in front of her, his face not two inches away from hers.
She gasped quietly, surprised by his closeness, but made no move to get away from him. Their eyes met, and then their lips were pressed against each other. Carol couldn't tell who had started the kiss, but at that point it didn't matter. Daryl's kiss was sweet and soft, though a little tentative, as if he didn't really know what he was doing, or why, but Carol didn't mind that either. She didn't have much experience herself, since she'd spent too many years kissing Ed, and those were never as pleasant as this one kiss was now.
Daryl pulled away first, a smattering of pink coloring his own cheeks, and he didn't dare meet her eyes. Carol reached out, resting her fingers on the back of his hand, and when he didn't move from her touch she laced their fingers together. He stared at their hands for a moment, trying to understand the feeling in his chest.
These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing okay
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before
"I love you, too, Carol. Have fer a while now, ta be honest. Just didn't know how to tell ya. Thought you'd reject me like ever'one else." Daryl peeked up at Carol, his blue eyes seeming almost lost in this new sea of emotions.
Daryl smiled then, not just smirked like he usually did. This smile was wide, full-lipped and as bright as the sun. Carol had been waiting so long to see that smile, and to know that she had been the one to put it there made the whole thing so much sweeter.
They stayed up in the guard tower for the rest of the day, occasionally talking, and always keeping their hands intertwined. They felt no need to manifest their love physically at that time, and were both just content to be in the other's company.
They wouldn't tell the others about this, at least not yet. They knew what they felt for each other, and there was no need to qualify it in the eyes of the rest of the group. Perhaps one day they would grow comfortable calling themselves a "couple," and maybe they'd even have a "wedding ceremony" like Glenn and Maggie had. But for now they would sit together, locked in their own form of embrace.
I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
