A/N: So, uh, if you're a PLL watcher, you probably already know that there's no such thing as a "male friend" for Spencer Hastings. Every boy she's ever talked to has always ended up wanting to hook up with her. Yikes, right? Especially when she could really use a friend sometimes, outside of her girl circle. I mean, Emily had a friend in Toby, Aria had a friend in Holden, Hanna had a friend in Lucas, and Alison (sorta...) had a friend in Noel. But Spencer? All the boys just wanna date her.
Aaaand that's why we're here today! This is a fic that is revisiting all Spencer's male "friendships." It's not to rewrite history and make them all her BFFs, but instead to analyze these relationships... sometimes, how she was somewhat taken advantage of. How she needed a friend sometimes but instead got guys who wanted her. This story canonically follows the events of the show, revisiting canon relationships.
UN-AMICABLE
WREN
There was something ringing through Spencer's body—it had been doing that ever since she received the news of Alison DiLaurentis's disappearance. And every day she woke up hoping she would be one-hundred percent OK. She hoped that her body would stop aching because... Alison DiLaurentis was a bitch, right? Her life was easier without a best friend who was always causing her trouble and going head to head with her, right?
Wrong.
That was what the whole town was starting to suspect—that the girls (especially Spencer) didn't even care about the blonde Queen Bee since she was notoriously rude. Sure, she got into her heated arguments with Alison, but that didn't mean she didn't love the girl. That didn't mean she didn't have her good moments with the girl. Whether or not they fought, whether or not Spencer was "jealous" that the other girl was the leader of their group, they were still best friends. Spencer did love her; she really did. The blonde had gotten under her skin more times than she could count on her fingers, but it was... sisterly, in the worst way. They would go at each other's throats, but that didn't mean there wasn't a void in her life now that the blonde was missing.
And Spencer wouldn't wish... death upon anyone. Not even a mean girl.
Really, she was wishing that people weren't staring at her at school and in town, probably wondering if she was glad her best friend was dead, or even wondering if she could be responsible. Because the people in this town were so insensitive that they, mostly, were glad that the former Queen Bee was gone. And that made Spencer's heart ache more because maybe... maybe she understood what it was like to make mistakes, too. She had made a few of them before, and she was still making some now.
She wished that she had somebody to open up to about all of this. She was freaking frightened, she couldn't lie, as much as she loved to put on a brave face and make everybody think she was stronger than she truly was.
First thing: her best friend was found dead, probably murdered by some psychopath. Second thing: she was getting creepy text messages from some anonymous person. Luckily, she wasn't alone, but she still felt alone... for some reason.
She wanted to talk to Aria, Hanna, and Emily about this more. She really did. She wished she could feel close to them again and tell them about everything, but... quite honestly, they weren't the way they used to be anymore. Maybe Alison DiLaurentis really was the glue that was holding them together, because as soon as she disappeared over a year ago, their friend group started falling apart. Aria went to Iceland, Hanna started hanging out with Mona Vanderwaal all the time (and was 'transforming' herself), and Emily was... absent (her interests were focused elsewhere, maybe in swimming or her boyfriend Ben, Spencer didn't really know because they didn't really talk all that much anymore). Frankly, the only reason they were talking again was because they were all getting the creepy text messages, too.
She didn't know if she would ever be able to talk to them about what she was feeling. There was too much baggage, right? But part of her wondered if them knowing Alison would make this easier, since they were maybe feeling the pain she was feeling, too. She was sure the other girls cared for Alison, too. She was sure that Emily loved her a lot, since they were always the closest in the group. But for some reason, she still felt like she couldn't talk to them. She wished she had... somebody else.
And her parents?
Well, of course not. She could never talk to them about this. They were already up her ass about keeping her grades and extracurriculars going well for college, as much fake sympathy they sometimes gave her. Her "grieving period" for Alison ended long ago in the Hastings household. Her friend's death was "sad" to them, but it also didn't mean that she could give up everything she had been working for. No, no... not the prestigious college. Giving that up was sinful.
Then she wouldn't become a cookie cutter perfect Hastings family member. Melissa did that well.
Right, there was Melissa, with her successful life and her charming British fiancé. She got the barn and Spencer was still pissed about it. And that British fiancé... Wren Kingston was his name.
He was quite something, Spencer thought. She liked talking to him. She liked that he showed an interest in her. It made her feel... wanted when he talked to her and flashed that pearly, charming white smile. It was as if she mattered to somebody.
Out of all of Melissa's boyfriends, Wren Kingston was certainly her favorite one... well, not exactly boyfriend. Fiancé, he was. But he was certainly Spencer's favorite man that Melissa had brought home.
She didn't feel so alone when she talked to him. She wondered if she would ever be able to tell him what was going on her life. Maybe he would make good ears... maybe he would listen to her talk about how much her world was shaken when Alison DiLaurentis went missing. Maybe he would at least be able to sympathize... or maybe just listen. He seemed to be a pretty good listener.
Spencer liked that somebody actually listened to her. For that, she kept growing fond of him as they spent more time together.
And she wanted to keep feeling wanted by him. She felt desperate and stupid but she wanted him to want her. Hell, it was so wrong because he was Melissa's fiancé and he probably didn't look at her that way, right? She was a stupid kid and he was just talking to her out of pity. He did know that Spencer's best friend had died. He probably just felt bad for her because of that, right?
Her mind was a wreck when Wren gave her a back massage one day. She was wearing her bikini... so much exposed skin. His hands were touching the exposed skin of her shoulders and back, rubbing perfectly and making her feel something. She felt wanted again. Somebody wanted her.
Oh God, was she that desperate? She hated herself for this... she hated herself so much. Melissa had hurt her a lot in the past, but Spencer had hurt her sister, too. And she had done this once with Ian, was she really doing this again?
It was crazy to her how she always seemed to want what Melissa had. In her mind, she was starting to realize that maybe she envied her older sister's perfect life. Melissa was successful, engaged, wildly appreciated by their parents, and she sure as hell wasn't aching inside because her best friend was recently murdered.
But Spencer was, and Wren Kingston was a sweet distraction that she didn't want to let go of.
She felt even more stupid when, in her room, their lips ended up crashing, kissing heavily. Spencer figured her id had gotten way out of hand. This was stupid. So, so stupid... She kept kissing it him and it felt so good that he was kissing her back, but did she really think that this was going to get rid of the void inside of her?
Because it wasn't. It wasn't getting rid of the void.
She still felt pain and maybe she should have tried to find a real friend to listen to her instead of making out with her older sister's fiancé. She felt like an idiot for realizing that while she was in the middle of kissing him, but she was glad she even realized it.
He kept trying to go further... kept trying to kiss her more.
But she pushed him off of her.
"Stop, stop, stop... You can't do this. It's not right."
Her eyes were wide. Both of them were breathless, in shock (kind of) due to what just happened. And Spencer was glad she managed to stop it because she was feeling so lonely inside that she was afraid of herself... afraid of what might have happened if she couldn't control her loneliness. She would have let him take it further, let herself make a huge mistake (although she already made a pretty big mistake by kissing him back in the first place, and she knew that).
But she had no idea that Melissa was standing outside of her bedroom, and had witnessed the entire thing. She had witnessed her little sister greedily locking lips with her fiancé.
And Spencer was blaming herself heavily, but she knew it was his fault, too. Now it was abundantly evident that he had been flirting with her all along. Why would he flirt with her if he wanted to marry Melissa?
He was also the one who had initiated the kiss. After continuously flirting with her in her bedroom, he had pulled her in for a kiss. She wished she hadn't made the bad decision and kissed him back, but she did. God, she did, and she had no idea what was going to happen next. Was he still going to marry Melissa?
Things got even worse when she, the next day, discovered that Melissa had seen them kissing. Her family was furious with her, and Spencer was feeling guilty. But her family was antagonizing her the most, and that was what hurt so badly. Sure, her family was furious with Wren and he had been banished after Melissa broke off their engagement, but she was still taking most of the heat for it. It was like her family thought that she caused it... like she was responsible and had lured Wren in and caused him to cheat on Melissa.
It wasn't like that.
Spencer wished he hadn't flashed her that charming smile and made her feel so wanted, because then she wouldn't have destroyed everything with her family. Melissa hated her. She wouldn't even look at her at home.
One morning, Spencer got a voicemail from Wren. She swallowed hard, wondering if she was going to regret listening to it. But she listened anyway. He asked her if she was willing to come meet him, and gave her the address of this place he was apparently staying at. Spencer didn't know what his intentions were or if it was a good idea to go, but she ended up going. And of course, she didn't tell anyone she was meeting him.
When she met up with him, he was nice to her. So, so nice to her that she felt herself wanting his company again because with her family hating her, she was feeling even more lonely these days. And it felt good because Wren seemed to maybe... actually care about her?
And her motivation for going to see Wren was to tell him to try to talk to her family and calm them down (she was tired of being blamed when she knew he was responsible, too... he was an adult, right?). But somehow, he ended up saying:
"But perhaps my real mistake was falling for the wrong sister."
And God, she had to get out of there as quickly as possible because she would probably make another mistake if she stayed. He wanted her, he really did, didn't he? Spencer swallowed hard; she wasn't used to being the wanted one. She was used to being the one living in Melissa's shadow. She was used to Melissa being the better Hastings sister. But for once, she was the better Hastings sister. In Wren's eyes, she was.
She wasn't sure how much Wren's opinion matted in the grand scheme of things, but it sure felt damn good that somebody cared about her.
"Um, I should go..."
She rushed away from him, trying not to look back even when he made a comment about her "wretched" home, but she did... but after that, she rushed home. She felt so... icky. What the hell had her life come to?
He showed up at her house drunk a few days later, asking for her to "summon her father" so that they could talk. And Spencer knew she was attracted to him (or at least she liked the attention that he was giving her), but she knew that this wasn't something meant to last. They kissed when she took him back to where he was staying, but when she walked away from him that night, she knew it was the end of whatever they had going on.
She wasn't going to do this anymore.
It was time to focus on the many other things she had to worry about. She was slowly growing closer with Aria, Hanna, and Emily, and she hoped it kept going in a positive direction because there was no way that she was going to get comfort from guys like Wren.
He could kiss her and make her feel good (except the ickiness from the guilt she felt afterwards every time), but she knew this wasn't going to make things any better.
He wasn't worth it, and she probably never should have fallen for his charm in the first place.
Maybe it was a thing for Melissa's boyfriends to like her. Maybe it was fun for them. Maybe he was similar to Ian (but a little better than Ian, of course).
She figured that right now, her mind probably wasn't in the best state to be seeing anybody. Especially not her sister's ex-fiancé.
