Hello, my dearest friends! I realise I have been absent for a way too long time but it's summer holiday now and I'm planning on putting it to good use. Even though the stress from school was nearly deadly because I wanted to pass so badly, I choose not to pass. I'd rather re-do this year and avoid being in the same stress again next year. And I'm really glad I made that decision! :-)
I wrote this for all of you sweet readers, but especially for disneycastleismymindpalace (Tumblr), ImaGleekBaby and wm3214, my little Warblers. This is also dedicated to sunshine-and-klainebows for being terribly patient with me! You're all precious angels! Enjoy this! It's not much but... Ah...
Blaine checked himself over in the mirror once more. Bow tie perfectly straight and matching his shirt? Check. Hair locked safely in its gel cage? Check. Make up covering up the freshest bruise on the side of his face? Check…
He still wanted to look absolutely perfect for his Skype date with Kurt, even though they were only friends. He had tried to move on after the breakup but ended up deciding to just let Kurt move on. Maybe one day he'll get over it but not any time soon. He was still convinced he'd never love anybody like he loved Kurt. He was pulled from his thoughts by the familiar tune echoing through his room. He quickly walked up to his desk were his laptop was sat and clicked Accept Call while sitting down. Kurt's smiling face appeared on his screen in all its perfection. Blaine swore he could see those beautiful blue eyes sparkling, even with the bad internet connection that made the screen blurry.
'Hello, there, stranger,' Kurt greeted. Blaine grinned at him.
'Hey!'
'How are you doing?' Blaine thought briefly of the bruise on the side of his face, which was stinging annoyingly, and remembered how it happened. He could feel the phantom pain of the football player's fist colliding with his face as he sent Kurt another bright smile.
'I'm great! What about you?' Kurt raised his eyebrows, giving him a skeptical look.
'Really?' Blaine swallowed but frowned in fake confusion.
'Yeah…' Really, Blaine? How convincing…
'After everything we've been through in the past year, after all the pain we've caused each other by not communicating properly… excuse me if I hoped you'd have learned it's better to not lie to me.' Blaine let out a shaky breath, his eyes fixated on his keyboard. Kurt was right, he knew that. Communicating was something they had promised each other to work on. If Blaine would start lying now, he might light the spark to the fire that would once again burn down everything they had built up. He couldn't let that happen, not again. But he didn't want to worry Kurt either. And quite frankly, he was embarrassed by the way the football players would slam him into the lockers or the floor again and again and again, not matter how many times he'd stand up for himself.
'Please.' The pleading tone in Kurt's face made him finally look up and gaze straight into Kurt's face which was practically radiating worry and care. Blaine made his decision.
'The… bullying. It started again. It's not so bad, really. I've had worse and I'm pretty sure you have too, but it's… it just really sucks that this happens in my senior year, after not having to deal with it for two years.' Blaine had averted his eyes again, not able to look into Kurt's pitying eyes.
'Blaine…'
'It's fine, Kurt. I'm gone in a few months, off to New York, off to you. They will never bother me again and when I go visit Lima in a few years it'll be me in expensive clothes with a beautiful man holding my hand and they'll be making me a burger while wearing a disgusting yellow apron and it's going to feel so damn good.' Kurt chuckled a little at that but couldn't deny the stab he felt in his gut when Blaine talked about the 'beautiful man holding his hand'. Picturing Blaine with another man was painful but picturing Blaine living together with another man, loving that man, even marrying that man… Kurt knew it shouldn't hurt this way. He promised himself he wouldn't let it hurt him this way anymore.
'I know, Blaine, I know. It's just,' Kurt sighed. 'I worry about you. You're my best friend and I know from personal experience how vicious McKinley's jocks can be when it comes to gay bashing… I just don't want you to get hurt.' Blaine mustered all the courage and strength he had left to give Kurt a reassuring smile.
'It's going to be fine, Kurt, I've got it under control,' he lied. 'So what have you been up to? How's NYADA?' Those words were a cue for Kurt to launch into a story everything he experienced that week, every place he had been, every person he had met. Blaine couldn't help but stare at Kurt. It was nothing short of inspiring to see Kurt talk about something he was truly passionate about. The way his eyes would lit up, the way his smile was so wide the edge of his teeth were showing and his nose was wrinkled up. With a pang in his chest Blaine remembered Kurt used to look like that when he talked about Blaine. Well, he ruined that for good.
'… and it just creeps me out a little, you know? Though I must admit, it's very flattering at the same time.'
'Wait, what? Sorry, I zoned out for a bit.' Kurt rolled his eyes and gave Blaine a pointed look, which made the latter shift uncomfortably in his seat, feeling as if Kurt saw straight through him. He picked up the tea next to his laptop and started sipping, distracting himself from Kurt's gaze as the boy started talking again.
'I was talking about the boys in NYADA and how they're all over me. I've been asked out three times in the past week. Three times! I'm starting to think it's some kind of set up, you know? I mean, would they really do that?' Blaine put down his Earl Grey tea with a deep sigh and sent Kurt a look of both amusement and incredulousness.
'Kurt, I'm sorry to break your innocent little bubble and all that, but… To put it quite frankly, you're hot. You've always been and you seem to grow more and more attractive with every day that passes. I'm saying this as your friend, Kurt, no hidden agenda. I think those boys might be genuine about this and maybe…' Blaine swallowed his tears and tried to keep his voice from trembling. 'Maybe you should consider saying yes to one of them.' He could hear Kurt suck in a breath, clearly surprised by Blaine's suggestion.
'Yeah,' he whispered, barely audible over the rustle of the bad connection. Blaine's heart pounded loud in his chest as he met Kurt's eyes, and he was almost scared Kurt could hear it all the way in New York. After a few moments Kurt took a deep breath and Blaine averted his eyes, grabbing his tea again.
'I might not though. None of these boys really interested me. I mean, they were hot but…' Kurt shrugged. 'I guess I never really felt that instant connection that I am used to feeling when I really like somebody.' Blaine looked at the screen again and found Kurt looking right back at him, a soft smile playing at his lips. He smiled back.
'So, when's the next time you're coming to Lima,' Blaine asked, actively changing the subject. Kurt replied with a shrug.
'I'm not sure,' he said. 'It might take a while, since I'm so busy with NYADA and Vogue. There's less urgency now my dad's cured. I want to go sometime before the summer holiday though. But the real question is…' Kurt winked at Blaine, making his heart flutter. 'When are you coming to New York? I mean, when you go to NYADA in the Fall you ne-'
'Kurt, I haven't even had my audition yet.'
'When you go to NYADA in the Fall,' Kurt continued as if Blaine had never interrupted. 'You need a place to stay.' Blaine thought for a few seconds before replying.
'If I even get into NYADA, I'll probably dorm there. I can't afford an apartment of my own and I don't want to live of my parents' money, you know? I'm not that rich preppy boy anymore, and I don't want my potential friends to think of me as such.'
'Blaine, you don't honestly think I'm going to let you dorm at NYADA, do you?' Blaine blinked in confusion. 'Okay, Blaine, listen up. You're my best friend in the whole world and you're coming to New York and you think I'm going to let you dorm while there's more than enough room for you to stay in my apartment?' Blaine opened his mouth to reply but Kurt didn't even let him.
'You have to come to New York to see how much space you need so we can quickly move your stuff when the summer holidays start so you can move right in. The New York experience isn't the same without your friends who you planned it with, Blaine, I've learned that myself, and so did Rachel. We need you here, I need you here because I can't possibly put into words how much you mean to me, even after everything that has happened.' Blaine gave him a weak smile, trying to wipe the tears from his face in one smooth movement, hoping it would go unnoticed by Kurt. It didn't but Kurt chose not to comment, feeling close to tears himself.
'Thank you , Kurt,' Blaine replied. 'And the next time somebody asks you out, feel flattered, Kurt, not threatened. And if you doubt yourself, try and ask the guy why he wants to go on a date with you and he'll tell you the exact same thing I told you. You're probably the most handsome thing walking around that school and it's nothing more than natural for the boys to respond to that.' Kurt laughed a little. He tried to ignore the way his heart jumped at Blaine's words but it was practically impossible.
The next time one of the boys would ask him out, Kurt would say yes. He would go on a date, because Blaine told him it might be fun and it is. The man is sweet and polite and terribly funny. And that's when Kurt knows.
He might have never believed as much in 'one true love' and 'soulmates' as Blaine always did, but he knows now that he has forgiven Blaine. The huge dent Blaine's mistake had left in his self-esteem was getting smaller and smaller and the thought of the boy with the warm hazel eyes no longer filled him with ice cold pain but warmth, like a hot cup of Earl Grey tea on a cold Winters day.
Kurt was ready to give Blaine another chance and now he was just waiting for Blaine to forgive himself enough to let himself fall back into Kurt's opening arms.
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