Stanford woke up.

It took a moment for his head to clear, but when it did, he curled his hands into fists.

"Let me go, you insane, three-sided-" An attempt to step forward only tugged on his leg, and his momentum almost sent him toppling forward.

Something was around his neck. It was somewhat heavy, but not unpleasantly so- the interior was soft, like worn leather. His hands were still free, allowing him to explore it. The exterior was metal, with a dangling tag with something engraved on it.

SIXER.

Equilateral son of a bitch had him collared like an animal.

Ford started rummaging around in his pockets, but only managed to tug apart a pen in attempt to make something to pick the lock before two things happened.

One, he realized there wasn't a lock- Bill must have manifested it right around his neck.

Two, Bill himself appeared.

He didn't just teleport in, no- a black bow tie manifested in front of the portrait of himself above the fireplace, then a hand swept around in a circle, revealing him in all of his glory.

"Welcome to the start of a new world, Fordsy."

"Bill." Ford swallowed down bile and a rather long list of rude names.

Surprisingly, Bill hadn't made himself huge like before. He wasn't the cat-sized being he'd been in the mindscape thirty years ago, but he was only about four feet tall.

"So, like what I've done with the place? I'd say it's an improvement. So much more exciting!" Bill snapped his fingers, and Ford's leg chain extended, body floating up to a window that appeared from rearranging bricks.

Gravity Falls was in chaos.

Or, rather, what was left of Gravity Falls was in chaos. The streets were neigh deserted but for the occasional mad dash from one building to another, and graffiti reigned, covering everything with sickening neon pleas for help or promises to do anything to be spared.

"I'm going to rip your eye out of its socket." Ford growled, but Bill tsked, shaking a finger.

"Don't be such a sourpuss, Sixer. What happened to the old Fordsy who did whatever I said?"

"He spent thirty years dodging your goons and space jail." Ford started squirming, but Bill's telekinetic grip was iron.

"Always dwelling on the past. Can't a guy get a break?" Bill twirled a finger and Ford spun in place before the chain suddenly stopped, yanking him to the ground. He landed on his face, biting his tongue to hold back a screech as pain and blood blossomed from his nose and cheeks.

"Tho, where are we?" Ford held his nose, trying to stem the bleeding. Gather information, assess the situation, formulate an escape plan. This was no different from any of the other dimensions back in the portal. Even if this was the worst possible ending he'd been avoiding in all those dimensions...

"The tip of the Fearamid!" A purple drink appeared in Bill's hand, and Ford nearly dropped a matching one as it slipped through his fingers. "Make yourself comfortable, you're gonna be here a while." Bill took a sip.

Ford intended to stay standing, but the ankle chain tugged him back, and he fell into a cushion with a raised ring around it.

No, wait, it wasn't a cushion, it was-

"Is this a dog bed?"

"Got it in one! Courtesy of an actual dog!" Ford's gaze shifted down to see pleading eyes, and he could feel slight breathing. "Don't worry, I took off those uncomfortable limbs." Any attempt to wriggle forward was futile- the chain had mostly receded into the floor, leaving him no room to move around.

"Ugh. What do you want?"

Bill set a hand just below his eye. "Aw, can't I just have a chat with an old friend?"

Ford's fingers grazed over the tag on his collar, and Bill rolled his eye.

"You're no fun anymore, you know that?" He floated forward, and pinched Ford's cheek. "Well, I figured that since you were the one that made this all possible, I should reward you somehow."

"And this is how? Not killing me?"

"If I'd wanted to, I would have." Bill said flippantly. "But you don't get it yet. I control everything now, and that means I can do whatever I want. That includes to you fleshbags." A finger snap, and Ford's ears were being melted, send through a meat grinder, set on fire-

He could hear everything. Both hands flew up to find where his ears should have been was just smooth flesh, while buried in his messy hair were a pair of fluffy, pointier ones.

"Humans find cats, cute, right? Personally I don't see the appeal." Bill reached forward to stroke Ford's hair.

"Why are you doing this?" Ford tried to snarl, but his voice wavered slightly.

"The tough guy thing doesn't suit you, IQ." The cat ears disappeared. "You're smart. Aren't you?"

The words had a taunting lilt to them, and Ford narrowed his eyes before scanning the surroundings.

The room looked like a typical apartment, albeit one with an eccentric decorator. There was a piano, a few couches, and a bar in the corner. He was collared and had a chain keeping him anchored. He was sitting on a dog bed, and there were a few small bowls with Bill's nicknames written on the side.

Bill had said he'd 'reward' him.

It hit like a punch to the gut.

"You want to keep me as a pet."

Bill clapped his hands together.

"Give the man a prize!"

"You're insane. I'll never roll over for you."

"You never seemed to have a problem doing it before, Fordsy, but we'll see how you feel soon enough." Bill ruffled Ford's hair, before poking his nose, causing blood to start dribbling down again. "I've got a party ten billion years in the making to get to, but I'll be back soon, don't you worry!"

He was gone in a flash, and Ford was left to try and stem the bleeding and with a sick feeling that this couldn't possibly end well.


A/N: All right, let's do this. Reviews are awesome!

If you have any ideas/requests for this au, please drop them on me, because I only have a few ideas, but I really like the au itself. (Sexual stuff is okay, as long as it's not just pwp.)